SURPRISE LETTER

I had a surprise in the mail yesterday. The solicitor who handled my divorce is retiring and she returned all the documents including the land title which I'd forgotten all about.

When he pissed off with his blonde I dug my heels in and refused to sell the house. My solicitor said I probably would get 85 per cent of the sale price which wasn't going to do me any good if I had no where to go. Of course Mother said I could come to live with her. I was even more determined not to sell after that.

I proposed that we keep an asset that would appreciate and change the title from joint owners to Tenants in Common. That meant he could leave his half to whom-ever, as could I, but both of us had to die before the heirs got it. I was being fair, I had my home and he had half an asset.

The Blonde got into my Mother-in-Law's ear, telling her how vicious I was and how I was stealing his house. Fortunately M-i-L was polite enough to hear my side after the initial nasty words I copped. I couldn't understand the reaction, I'd already told her what I was going to do. It was after my solicitor told me that he had given me the house, free and clear, that I was put in the picture.

He never told me why and I never bothered to ask. I did have to give up all claims to any money he would receive later and even there I had information he didn't. Any money from his mother was a gift to him and would not figure in a settlement which only left his super and I'd already had a chunk of that, what he wasn't giving to his girlfriends.

So I had my home and the jungle setting he'd left it in. When you visit, be polite and don't ask why I have paintings hanging in strange places because they're usually hiding a hole in the door or wall where Mr. Elegant fell over pissed as a newt.

It was a real pleasure to put that land title with the house title and my divorce papers.

And what's more, he never sent a card for my birthday.