ANOTHER YEAR ALREADY?

That year went fast although I have decided not to get any older. My age will remain the same as last year's, an official secret. It's all winter and drabness so I thought a spring like birthday would be nice. And so.......

Shut up, he qualifies as springlike, he has flowers on his luscious body and is holding a rose. He's also useful for handing out the cake.

Very spring like and not easy making green look good. If your cupcake croaks, you've found the secret Kermit and you'll win a prize. Luscious up there is on the list but if you fancy something else, you're out of your mind.

Also springy was dying my hair blonde. AAAAARRGGGHHHHH! Panic Panic Panic

Never mind the clean bathroom, where's the bloody hair dye. Oh Goddess, my eyes, my eyes!

Never, never do that again.

Oh that's better, I'm back to being me. Red hair is so slimming. One should never tamper with perfection. (stop that drooling Lad Litter) I don't know who the blokes are in the background, I only ever see me when I'm around. Look a lot like bloggers though.

A spring tiara for my hair, lovely red hair, lovely lovely red hair. A bit of bling's always nice even if I did have to buy it myself.

Still with the spring theme. I love dragonflies.

Another kind of fly. I had the broom modified. One must make some concession to age and weight. Not my weight, just look at the armour I'm carrying around up there. A bit weird on the cornering and not as fast but light on the landing and take off speed, wow, 0 to 2kmh in one hour.

And the day's good luck, the Bouvier Sisters stayed away.

TODAY I HAD TO..........

Clean the bathroom.
I can't wait until I have enough money to rip the bath out and have a walk in shower.
Without a door.
Without a step.
It's very uncomfortable to trip up the step and shove a toothbrush half-way up one's nose.
Which I did last night.
Which brought me nose and toothbrush close enough to the tiles to notice the flourishing ecosystem taking over the grout.
See when you get old, your eyes go and you skip over things that don't actually beat you over the head and say clean me.

Remind my mother that I had a husband for thirty years.
Goddess knows I'd like to forget.
But his name and his face?
She couldn't place him and I could almost hear the bell ring when the brain connected.

Feed the freeloading feathered stomachs that peer in my kitchen window.
They peer menacingly.
Alfred Hitchcock has a lot to answer for.
Just wait until I have enough money to brick in the back yard.
Little bastards will break their beaks picking up seed.

ANAK KRAKATAU

On the 29th of December 1927, a submarine eruption started in the same position of Krakatau's mighty explosion of the 19th century. A new island named Anak Krakatau - "Child of Krakatau" rose above the water but the pumice and ash were quickly washed away by wave action as were the other two islands that followed. In August 1930, a fourth island emerged, erupting lava flows that resisted erosion.

Krakatau is directly above the subduction zone of the Eurasian Plate and the Indo-Australian Plate where the boundaries make a sharp change of direction leading to a weakening of the crust.
There were three volcanic cones on Krakatau: Rakata to the south, Danan to the north and Perboewatan also to the north.

Since the 1950s the island has steadily grown to a high point of around 980 feet (300m) above sea level and is still active with the latest eruption starting in April 2008 but an intense period of explosive eruptions began in 2009.

The following images were taken by Marco Fulle over the 4th to the 9th of June, 2009.



This is Anak Krakatau from the island of Rakata which is the main island of the Krakatoai group.



This is Anak during a tropical storm where lightning hits the crater. Lightning activity like this was also seen over the crater of the erupting Chaiten volcano.

The thunderstorm here is only about 500 metres from the crater. The lightning can be seen behind the ash cloud from the latest explosive episode.

101 USES FOR AN EX-HUSBAND

Scientists believe they can make an artificial human brain

within a decade, after successfully replicating

parts of a rat brain.

And I thought he was totally useless.

THE LONG DAYS

The days between the 13th of July and the 10th of August are always long days for me but this year has been the worst.
Anger and repressed memories clamouring to be allowed screaming room.
An hour can go by and I realize I've been staring out of the window with nothing in my mind but tears on my face.
Watching that small coffin at Geelong today set me off again. Poor child, to be so hounded that dying was better than living.
I hate cemetaries. They serve no use at all, there's no comfort there just concrete and dirt.
I hate these 28 days of winter.
He started dying on the full moon of July and stopped living at the full moon of August.
And every year the questions pour out.
Was I there enough?
Was there anything I could have done?
Was there one thing in his life that made him happy to be my son?
I'll never know now.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE TALL

More than tall, very tall and with long red hair. I've got the red hair.

The saga of the energy saving light globe in the ceiling is on-going.

Tall person nephew came in this morning so I had him change the globe for warm white.

Tall person stands on the floor and simply reaches up right into the ceiling and unscrews the globe, replaces globe and it doesn't work.

The stark daylight globe has four prongs or whatever, replacement globe has three whatevers. It screws in but doesn't make contact.

It will go in the smaller downlight but not the big one.

So next shop, I must look for 100w in new 18w, make sure it screws in, make sure it's warm daylight, make sure it has four whatevers and take out a bank loan to buy it.

I can't believe tall person can just reach to the ceiling. He even had to bend his elbow since he had arm room left over.

I have red hair.

WHEN A MEME IS NOT A MEME, ALMOST

Over at 'Risotto is the opiate of the masses' they had a comments thread about what bad food we eat when we're alone and can't be bothered with the full 5 serves of anything good. Grilled cheese on toast was a favourite.

I love cold baked beans sandwiched between great slabs of fresh white bread. I have heartburn for about a week not to mention wind that could power the Cutty Sark on the tea run from China.

If I'm really good I'll mangle an omlette with grated cheese and have that with toast but I do love hot chips. I steam them first then crisp them up in hot olive oil, a bit of grated lemon, pepper and lots of salt (forget the blood pressure, it went up at the first mention of 'chips') and maybe a fried egg. No tomato sauce, I refuse the tomato sauce.

Chocolate is not bad, it's an essential food group and it's acceptable as a light meal as long as you don't have a deep-fried Mars bar for dessert.

Chips, mmmmmmmm, damn, have already chopped the good stuff for stir fry but with Thai noodles.

So this afternoon, gloomy and cold afternoon, I watched "The Time Machine" with our own Rod Taylor not the new version which I haven't seen yet. It's stood the test of time although I felt sorry for the poor Molocks who slaved for the Eloi in return for a bit of fresh meat from time to time and got smoked for their trouble.

Brave George decides to go back to the future and help restore civilization and takes three books with him. Well, that's caught my attention for the last few hours. Which books would start civilization from scratch? It's all supposed to be mindless football on a Saturday arvo, not thinking stuff.

It's easier to say what wouldn't be on my list. No it's not, I'm stumped there as well.
Go for your food and book choices in the comments.

JUST ME, WHINING AGAIN

It's very easy to lose confidence in going out at night by yourself. I haven't been out at night for a looooooooong time, probably 12 months and my one big day time trip was in January. For the most part my world is confined to a 3km circle.

So tonight, I was dressed, bejewelled and raring to go. No great place, just the local pub for dinner and maybe a play with the pokies. I even managed to get a taxi in record time.
Settled in with my feet up and was winning a few spins when the mobile went.

Wouldn't you know it, Mepacs. My mother has hit the emergency button and I'm wanted. I'm 20 minutes away so I tell them to ring the next two on the list. Sister's out, she's on late shift so the neighbour comes in. I've cashed in and hit the road to mother's, halfway there before I managed to get her home phone. The neighbour is so cheery, not to worry, it was only an accidental push on the button, she's fine.

I'm not. I'm homicidal. Dear mother, so surprised to see me at the door. Of course she didn't press the button, denies everything. But since I'm there, would I go and get the washing out of the dryer and fold it up.

Nephew got me out of the house before I tontined her. When I left she was on the phone to Aunt Patty telling her that I'd called her a vitriolic bloody old bitch. I got nephew out of the house before he told Aunt Patty the same thing.

Dear love, he was quite prepared to take me back to the pub and pick me up later but the mood had gone, all I wanted was home. So he bought me two enormous blocks of chocolate, rum and raisin, liqueur centres and told me to enjoy. It took half a block to stop shaking.

TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE

If it was I wouldn't be worried about the next birthday.

I sat down today to string and knot some pearls. I didn't know where to start.
This is bad. To totally forget something which I could do in my sleep. I really couldn't remember the knack to tying the knot and getting it snug to the pearl.

The swearing was disgraceful. If it's still on the 'big sin' list then I'm heading for the other place.

So how did I forget something so basic. I mean it's not that long ago that I could sit all afternoon and throw a couple of necklaces together to match the new dresses. I am in the habit of putting everything in plastic bags for each project and dating them. Three years, three lots of 12 months since I bought these burgundy pearls and crystals. I could have sworn (did) it was only yesterday.

Never mind the sand in an hour glass, I've got a month glass that's throwing days.

LOL LAUGH

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I had a cat with eyes like this. He used to walk up my body and stare into my eyes until I gave in and filled his dish. And they say marriage leads to a slave mentality.

NEVER MIND THE CHILDREN, THINK OF DIAL-UPPERS

I have been handcuffed to the computer for three days because of the snail speed of dial-up with seems to be getting slower. River sent me a program for removing Trojans which took 3 hours to download and messed up every other 'anti' program I had running. It was a good 'anti', River but I think it was too shiny for this old dear.



Microsoft kept trying to install IE8 every time I logged on. Adware wouldn't load updates and took 3 hours to scan the computer. AVG wouldn't load updates and took 5 hours to do a complete scan of everything. Spybot wouldn't load updates but only took 40 minutes to scan.



Total low grade infections/tracking cookies found, ten.



ZoneAlarm is working well. CCleaner is working well.



I've had all those on the computer for four years with updates but anything I try now seems to take forever to download, install and scan. The programs fight with each other, like kids in a sandbox.



I like XP, it's simple, functional, no frills and like a comfy pair of slippers. More to the point, I can work it, just.



It's the speed I'm having problems with. I just bought my Harry Potter ticket over the internet and it took 35 minutes to load all the pages I needed. It could have been less if I hadn't decided to change my seat and had to do everything all over again. Who'd have thought Gold Class would have been booked out until July 22? I was trying to avoid the popcorn munchers and drink slurpers so hopefully they won't be in the 10.30 session.



I realize I'm tempting fate but if there's a death in the family, I'm still going.

IDIOT OF THE YEAR

This is from our local paper:

A drunk driver crashed his car after accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with a knife while peeling an orange.

He blew five times the legal limit and lost his licence after his car careered out of control on Wells Road. He had consumed a cocktail of beer and spirit mixers.

The moral of the story is - never drink, drive and peel, it just proves three times over what an idiot you are.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT

ONE THOUSAND AND FOUR POSTS

FIREWORKS WOULD HAVE LOOKED BETTER FOR ONE THOUSAND

STILL WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT THE MOUTH

WOULD STILL BE GOING

OR THE BRAIN

MOONING

No, it's not me, that would be in the plural - moonings - considering how vast my mooning equipment is. I have a ringside window to the eclipse just above my computer. The moon is supposed to turn a grey colour, nothing dramatic and who could tell with the dirt on my window.

So just to annoy myself further this afternoon, I allowed the gerbil running this computer to download IE8. Did I complain about toolbars recently? Yes, I thought so and now I have toolbars up the wazoo.

There's the computer one in a pleasant green at the top.
The new IE8 plus google next.
Then the old favourites bar which I decided to drop until the new IE8 favourites menu appeared staggering under the load of must read blogs and made the mouse go zippy.
There is another Google search and nifty button bar.
And another address and IE8 button bar.
Down on the bottom, I've ditched the progress bar but kept the computer start up bar with the clock and all that other stuff.

The gerbil has also relayed my age to Microsoft who has brightened my life with extra bold type.
I thought I must have done this but no, appearances and themes still has me on standard not clear type.

My 'create post' page is also new and the labels are in different places, very disconcerting.

But I know why the buttons on the tool bars are annoying me. I'm a lefty mouser and the buttons are for righty mousers. Four years it's taken me to work that out. My brain grinds slow but exceedingly fine.

Totally unrelated to IE8 (I haven't read what tricky little things it has stored up for me but I have seen I can hide my porn travels) is the fact that I've just read a book and it has annoyed me almost as much as a tool toolbar. The author expects me to believe that the hero is a world authority on myths and legends but puts him in an aircraft flying over Peru and he suddenly sees the Nazca lines below and says he doesn't know what they are. Quetzacoatl and Kulkucan are the same myth, one belonging to the Aztec, one to the Maya and it takes half the book for him to connect them. Dan Brown, come back, all is forgiven.

The moon's not doing much considering for Leos it's supposed to be a life changing eclipse. There is one big change, I bought Gelati instead of ice-cream to top my apricots and yoghurt.

STILL CLINGING ON

There's nothing like a butterfly to make me happy especially when this one is making a re-appearance in British fields after nearly going the way of the Dodo.

The Bitch Queen of the Universe is living up to her name and making life difficult.

My sister said this morning that she hates our mother with a passion. I would like to be able to say the same but even a negative emotion like hate is beyond me. I don't think of her at all, not as my mother. She's merely someone who plonked down in the beanbag of my life and hasn't left.

I pay the bills, get the groceries but pleasantries have gone by the board. She has lied to me for the last time although 'lie' doesn't really apply to someone who lives in a lala land of her own making. She fabricates a reality in which other people believe.

I am not sleeping. I am eating far too much of the wrong foods. I found apples in the fridge that must have been on speaking terms with Eve. I shake all the time. I refuse to increase medication that took me three years to decrease. My blood pressure would power two people.
The empathy I used to feel for this woman has dissipated.

All I can think of now is how to cling to sanity until my life is my own. I can't even imagine what I will do with a life of my own.

CHRISTMAS IS A COMING FAST

And how do I know this? Because the Toy Sale Catalogues are out already. I saw this DeathStar and the boys would have loved it. I thought it was reasonable at $59.90 until I wiped my glasses and looked closer, $599.00 but a bargain since after the sale it will be $749.00. Recession, what recession?

They would have had it out of the box and assembled in two shakes but I have yet to put together a lego anything. I fail lego.

I did find a lovely present for Mother. What Mother wouldn't love a furry remote control tarantula at only $20.00, $26.99 after the sale. Ages 8 years and up. There is that little problem of her arachnaphobia though.