Oh, the irritation of it all.

Settling down with the moggie last night to watch my favourite stud muffin, Mat Bomer in White Collar and what do I get, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum promising me the world on a plate. Promise me Mat and I'll vote several times over for you. That ruined my entire night. Tonight isn't much better, instead of Grimm being on at a reasonable hour, say 9.30, it's on at 11 because 'Please marry my son' and 'Prom Wars' are so much more to the taste of moronic viewers. And when did footballers become more important than cake? The great bake off finale got booted for updates on Essendon's drug buys. All this in one week, now that's irritating.

Mother has a new roomie, no, not that one from last week, she's gone, nor the other from the week before, she's gone. I haven't seen the new lady but mum says she's quiet and only a little demented not like the other roomies who are ramping up dementia to new levels.  Mum puts on her headphones and pretends she can't hear them even if she doesn't have the dvd viewer on. I ordered another load of dvds last night from this ebay site in Melbourne. They are made in Taiwan with Chinese subtitles but with the original movie soundtrack in english, just turn off the subtitles. 
I found that she had trouble comprehending modern movies but the old movies from the 30s and 40s which she was familiar with are fine. The Midsomer Murder and Agatha Christie series she knows off by heart.  She's already sobbed her way through 'Mrs Miniver' and 'Random Harvest' and laughed through 'Arsenic and old Lace'. I bring home the movies she'll re-watch later but she keeps those she really likes. I did find a movie last night called 'A portrait of Jennie', comes under the heading of romantic thriller and stars Jennifer Jones. I'll say this about the psychological thrillers of the 40s, they didn't need blood and masks to keep you riveted to the seat and chewing the fingernails. Another good thriller was 'The Spiral Staircase' with George Brent and Dorothy Maguire and a neat twist at the end.
She's not fussed about musicals because they put those on after lunch in the dayroom and they go round in a perpetual loop. If she never hears Sound of Music again she'll be happy. We decided on 'Meet me in St Louis' for the costumes and 'Easter Parade' for the great songs. She doesn't really like Fred Astaire, not fussed about Gene Kelly but loves Tyrone Power and Cary Grant and will tolerate Errol Flynn if he's playing a pirate. June Allyson whines and Joan Fontaine is whimpy but Katherine Hepburn is a winner.
It's amazing really that she can hardly remember last week but give her a small hint about a movie made in 1936 and she'll tell you the whole story. If she goes out watching her favourite dvd, it's a great way to go.

Nothing like a good meme.

PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a phone camera these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?



Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again...

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a bush fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
      
       

And why haven't any of these questions ever occurred to me before I received this meme email?

Hippo Birdy Miss O'Dyne.

From one graduate of the Elly Lukas School of Elegance to another, I give you a dress and the wish that we both looked like Christy Turlington back in the days instead of the Mod chicks we were.

 And a cake, black and white, forever elegant but never fattening especially on a birthday.

And the present. Choices, what choices but I decided on Lawrence Graff instead of Harry Winston.
Just in keeping with the black and white theme. I thought of the Widow and her Champagne but with those heels, you'd kill yourself so we'll stick to G&T, Bombay Sapphire naturally.

When tree huggers go bad.

I wish I had a Gary Larsen cartoon to go with that heading and I would have had a photograph if I had belted out of bed fast enough.
The saga of hernextdoor's footpath which was sloping towards the fence, not in line with the other footpaths and definitely not level. I should know, I took great delight in pointing it out to her after the bloody workmen had used my water again for the concrete. They never even turned off the hose between use, just let it run into the gutter.
That was a post last month. The follow up was yesterday when up comes the footpath breaker, the take it away truck and several council workers. I'm in bed with cat enjoying the winter sun coming in the window. The next noise was a chain saw, hmm, says I, lopping the branches from that overhanging stupid lemon scented gum that will cause havoc if it falls. No, they're not.
Let me go back some years. Hernextdoor was into all things eco, save the kangaroos, save the this, save the that then the vegetarian phase that went into the vegan militant phase. I think that's gone by the way.  We endured the lectures for politeness, the rest of the neighbours went along conspicuously spending, we didn't have enough money for spending and all the time hernextdoor was not exactly living in a cardboard box, all mod cons. and an Australian garden including the biggest flaming gumtree ever on our fence line. That's the thing about gums, they moult leaves all year, my trees only in autumn.  After the spa went in, the gum came out or it would have been heading for the stars by now.  Crocodile tears at the loss of an icon then hints about my leaves falling over the fence. 
So along with the gum went the Grandiflora Magnolia but only as far as the nature strip where she was sure it would just gently pass away but it flourished, boy did it flourish.  Beautiful tree, deep green leaves and I alway knew when it was going to be hot, the big cream flowers would bloom overnight.  Not any more, where was green is now a great big empty. Nothing, nada, not even a hole in the ground, just the dug up footpath ready to be fixed.
I'm waiting now for the complaint that my camelias are falling on to her brick paved front courtyard.  I've cut down 3 trees along that fence but the camelia stays although it does need a slight prunning.  I'll miss that Magnolia and so will she. It was so dense with leaves and blooms that it stopped a lot of the north wind dust in summer.  To walk past it was to walk into coolness but there'll be no shade anymore except for my trees.  
I'll get out there and take a photo of the big empty.  But I'd like to take a photo of the possums falling when they realize there's nothing to land in when they fly off the phone wire.

On another note, if you've seen the ads for the new Lipton's fruit, orange and lemon tripod teabags, before you buy, look for where they're made, in RUSSIA and shipped here.  Either buy Dilmah which is fresh from Sri Lanka or Madura fresh from Queensland. (I would but they don't quite have the right Earl Grey flavour)  I could hardly believe what I was seeing but then Woolworths Select 90 second microwave brown rice is made in India and shipped here, buy SunWhite instead. Shut up tree huggers, I know I should be cooking my own brown rice but it takes ages as against 90 seconds and it's a bit hard to nibble at something else in 90 seconds.  

Stating the obvious, it's bloodcurdling cold.

I had to sit at the fire this morning and warm up until I could get in the shower to warm up. The cat went outside and I swear he must have pee'd on the run, turned and was back on the bed before I put his food down.

Firefox updated and my little orange cats are not compatible with the new operating system. Damn, phooey.  I went through so many layouts until I found green leaves, daisies and ladybirds which didn't go with the blue I had with the cats.  So back into Windows themes and now the olive green suits.  Minor irritation but after the weekend, it was enough to bring on loud swearing at a defenceless computer.

Visit to the Home.  I'm glad I'm not there tonight. I don't know what was dished up for lunch but there is going to be a lot of changing of linen tonight if this afternoon's episodes are repeated. It was freezing walking there but the Home seemed to be sitting in the middle of a great ring of clouds and the sun was shining but not warming anything up.  It didn't warm me up but I was home before it rained on me. So the day finishes as it began, I'm freezing and the cat is fed and in front of the fire.

I think I broke something.

The new entertainment unit...with cat.  He likes it, he can lie full length on the top with his head out of the hole in the curtain resting on the window sill. The delivery blokes kindly put the tv on the cabinet but I got to move all the small (but heavy) cupboards out of the way and the dvd player and the video player and the cords and the speakers and the dvds and the side table and the coffee table.

He had fun walking from one thing to another until I managed to drag the damn thing into the hall. I swear the first thing I do when I win Tattslotto is put wheels on everything in this house. I know Pine plantations are unkind to little animals but better than chopping down old growth trees just to make an entertainment unit. I worried that I wouldn't like it, having bought it on line from Early Settler but I don't even notice it. That's the mark of a good buy, feels like it's been there forever.
The BOH came that night and hooked everything up even the video player but I haven't untangled the speakers yet and I don't really need surround sound so maybe just hook up the large speaker.

So now I have a remote, three remotes which are labelled which is terrific during a political campaign, annoy me and you're gone. I paid for half the tv, mum paid the other half for my birthday and the unit I'll pay for out of the fixed deposit at the end of August.

That was the plan but after reading through my 2006/07 journal, I think I will leave it as payment for services rendered.  I needed some legal stuff that I knew was somewhere in the big journals I keep, as distinct from the day to day diary, but that saying about never looking back, so true, so very true.
I am amazed that we did not shove a pillow over mother's head. What a bitch she was and given that in 2006 we still had three years of horror to go before she went into the nursing home, I amazed that we survived. My sister gambled and drank, I ate and the BOH banged the dents out of cars with a large hammer. We scratched for money.  I was pretty low last week and thought that even money wouldn't make me happy, wrong.  2006 I didn't have anything and I was miserable. I suppose I blogged the crazy funny bits and that kept me sane but she was outrageous. Most of it was pain affecting her mind, not having proper food although the freezer was always full and eventually we had Meals on Wheels delivered. I can't tell you everything, I've been trying to let it flow away all weekend but she rang last night and I almost threw the phone across the room.  The three of us stuck together through it all until she went to the Home.
I am not going to ever open the 2008/9 journals, not while she's still with us.

Now for real Sprites.

I blogged about Sprite lightning recently which was a fluke photo taken from ground level during a thunderstorm, now here's the real deal taken from the National Centre for Atmospheric Research's Gulfstream-V plane.
Jason Ahrns got up close and personal with these red sprites over Red Willow County in Nebraska and told a reporter:

"I've seen sprites with my naked eye for the first time, and they're really tall! I've seen pictures and watched them in video monitors during the research campaigns, and in my mind I knew they were on the order of 50km from top to bottom, but knowing it and seeing it for yourself are two different things," he told us via email. "When we're flying 120 miles away from the storm and the sprite is still tall enough to fill my vision from top to bottom, that leaves an impression!"

Sprites can reach 50 to 60 miles into space and penetrate downward into the middle of the stratosphere (25-20 miles high) with jellyfish-like tendrils and they last only seconds so good for Jason Ahrns who not only photographed these sprites but managed to videotape them as well.

He also has a blog called Leaflitter with photographs if you're interested.

An irritating week.

I can't believe I'm 11 days older than that last cake.  No wonder I'm irritable.
My life seems to have been turned upside down, I'm not sleeping until late, that is 1 a.m. late and not getting up early. Three days visiting the Home and I had to go out on Friday of the pouring rain and freezing cold wind that was so strong I could barely close my big gate. Mother did appreciate the two new nightdresses and the hot party pies with sauce.  Friday lunches are never the best down there.

Politics are irritating me no end. Please let's get it done and then on with the revolution. I refuse the watch the debate going on tonight. Irritation levels would rival Chernobyl melt down especially since favourite programme will now be on late.  Another irritation, I love 'Grimm', the new season started with two episodes which then went back to one at 11 p.m.  And this after two stinkers of reality shows that should be dumped in the nearest bin.  Also another irritation, shows running over and football shows are the masters of this. Any show I want to see which comes after football, add anything from a half to an hour later. And then to add injury to the already infected irritation, put on an encore of the revolting show you refused to watch the first time.

My sister is irritating me and has done for quite some time.  Her taste in men hasn't improved since the ghastly drug addled twit she brought home at 17. She was going to save him from himself. And so on from there. Irritation is the reason I buy her birthday presents in January for the September date because by then I'm ready to plant her one right between the eyes. I fixed that irritation by buying Mother another 6 dvds.

Cold callers on my phone are irritating.  Three times in the past 5 weeks I've had the Telstra call that tries to scam my pension number out of me. Unfortunately for them I learned my lesson from last year.  Same old scam about how much I'm going to save on phone calls and they'll just hand me over to their supervisor and that's when I let loose with the abuse.  Another pizza parlor has opened nearby with close to my phone number. A call for a pizza late at night has me dribbling with desire, damn phone numbers.  Another new one is for funeral plans. Now I'm used to that during the day or late at night on tv but phone calls?  I tell them I'm not having one, if I'm not going to be there to eat cake, no-one else is.  Then there's the solar heating mob, charities asking for money and the one I love most, wanting to speak to the head of the house for an outstanding opportunity to increase the wealth of the family.   Yes, I should renew the stop on these calls but it's so much fun to abuse the call centre especially when they take the trouble to announce that they are calling from Melbourne.

Another very minor irritation which really isn't an irritation since families remember birthdays and happy days but death days fade away with time.  I thought maybe one would remember my boy died 18 years ago yesterday but perhaps it's better they didn't.  A new baby in the family makes for looking forward and not looking back.  And the cat hugged me when I cried anyway.