April, lst day.

This is what you get when you need cake, tea and sympathy and can't be bothered waiting for the kettle to boil. I could really kill a cake right now but I'll make do with the Gin.
CT scanner is whizbang but I must remember to not take off my glasses until I'm on the bed. All white room and fuzzy eyesight makes me dizzy to the max.
Catch a cab to mother.  Mother looks terrible, eyes glazed which is good.  Sister says look out for glistening bright eyes, last gasp apparently.  Anyway we nearly lost her again last night which makes 3 times in the last 5 weeks.  Bitches on night duty did not answer her bell when she woke up and couldn't breath. She kept ringing, they kept ignoring. Then she had the bright idea to ring me so I could come and sit with her while she died.  "Shit, Ma you know I can't ride the broom at night"  If she had rang and after I had recovered from the heart attack, I would have rung the nurses' station at the Home and everybody would have been awake.  I can scream very loudly over a phone.  Fortunately the early morning nurse came in and she is of the old school and did she take charge. Ventilator, cold towells, ice and then oxygen and mother's colour came down from violent Puce to pale violet.  Doc Marvin was rung at 7.45 and he came in about l p.m. to check her out, not that he needed a stethoscope to listen to the rasping breath.  He's ordered more antibiotics but he knows, I know and my sister knows, it's palliative and it's slow.
Doc Marvin had words.  I bet he has more tomorrow.  He'll have my results from the CT scan but anything showing will have to be put on hold for the moment and I'm going to have to sleep with the mobile by the bed and broom at the ready.