The Terminator lives, again

She made it.  I've paid for it.

Never bottle up anger, punch something.
But don't get up in the middle of the night without your glasses, things happen.
I have no idea how I slipped, fell flat on my back ending up with my feet in the clothes basket. Clothes were clean, I just couldn't be bothered folding them.
I wasn't hurt, it was just a gentle slip to the floor in the dark.
I sit up ready for the usual sobbing and cringing as I kneel and throw myself on the bed. Didn't happen, both leg muscles went into instant spasm and I lay back on the floor.
Try the sitting up thing, throw washing basket out of the way and start bum-walking to the front door to see if I could open it. Thank the Goddess, yes.
Head for the nearest chair but I can't turn over, muscle spasms, lie flat again.
Head for the phone after I contemplate lowering the ironing board to a height to sit then throwing myself onto the couch behind it.  Muscle spasms twist feet in opposite directions to where they should be.
Okay, phone and 000 it is.  Crap, no light to find 0 but mobile phone is on charge, press that and I have light to use landline.  Very crisp young lady is right on the ball even understanding the old tart who sleeps without her teeth. Had to be very careful with "sitting" on the floor.  Yes, I am very big, please send someone without a hernia problem, no I'm not bleeding or unconscious or going unconscious (I only do that when there's an apple tree handy).  The front door is open.
So I wait for the ambos, filling in time by using my walking stick to turn on the lamp, pull my reading glasses off the side table and drag my cloak out of my bag to stay warm.  Meanwhile the cat wakes up, real lot of help he was, wouldn't take a note for help before breakfast.
I hear boots up the drive, tell them the door is open.  OMG, two youngish girls walk in and I immediately look for the portable crane. I remember not to toothlessly smile at them.  They congratulate me on my bum-walking ability.
Now for the good part, one grabs a chair from the kitchen, lolly knows how she navigated that hell hole and I'm thinking I'll never get on my knees without swearing.  No, this is for balance because they have this wonderful, brilliant woman designed (it had to be a woman) square plastic/rubber thing. One pushed it under me while the other dragged it. I unfartunately let go a very small Kath Lockett which considering I was on my way to the toilet when I slipped, they were lucky.  This square has four compartments, each one is inflated until (this is where the balance came in) it is the height of a chair and I just stood up and walked away.  No pain, the joy of no pain.  I was lucky, the battery gave out with the last poof of inflate.
They were gone before the gossiping neighbours were starting for work.
I sat in the chair, fire going, tv news on, damn Chinese news, flick to get rid of that, flat batteries. I had to get up and turn it off by hand. Life can be hard sometimes.
Cat was fed, I went to sleep in the chair.
I woke up and went to sleep in the bed.
Right arm hurts so I must have kept hold of the bed post which is why I didn't crash to the floor. 
Memo to self, no more lavender foot cream for the walking parts.  

Don't count your mothers before they despatch

The happy clappy time didn't last very long.
She's going but very slowly.  Congestive heart failure and morphine to help.
But this morning she insisted on getting up and having a shower.
I'm so tired I by-passed a chocolate shop because I couldn't be bothered trying to decide what to buy.
I hit Mentone by cab this morning to find my sister waiting for a cab after her shift at the Home.
Tart had scratched the scratchie she'd bought for me and used it to buy a pizza.  Karma's a bitch while she spoke to me, a little old man took her cab.
So if you don't see me again for a while, you know where I am.  I'm starting to feel like a Deathwatch beetle.  If mother has any idea of what's happening, she's not saying, total denial has always been her strength.
I have had to explain to a few of the newer nurses that our family is strange and than when I say we will have to drop her in a vat of molten metal to knock her off, we are just joking. The oldies know we're not joking, they've seen her come back from the brink too many times, even they refer to her as The Terminator.
I can only say that Doc Marvin is a wonder, I wish we could clone him.

It's been a blood moon mess

Virus, breakdown, Home saved for the moment, new desktop installed and not understood.
I've kept IE for the moment while I work out what is what and 8.1 has the start button back.
After sitting in front of the old machine wondering how my brain was going to fix anything, I picked up the keyboard to shake the crumbs out and underneath was a card from Chris advertising his expertise in all things computer. I remember getting this in the mail box ages ago and kept it in case.  He charges $100 an hour but stayed much longer than two hours fixing up what I wanted to keep and explaining what not to touch then he put the screen back to XP instead of buttons everywhere.
No, I still don't know what I'm doing but I am doing it faster.  And why didn't anyone mention that the dongle thing should be moved around to get a better and fast reception?  He also checked on who was using what around me to see if that would interfere with reception.
He asked what I did with my bookmarks and I showed him the email I'd sent to myself and that's when he gave up. I can understand that, when I printed it out it was 15 pages long. I'll go through and get rid of a few/lot but I have an ebay button on the desktop and internet banking is a go.
I'm still dealing with the colours, ghastly yellow on the header had to go and the scanner needs a new driver for 8.1 so I have to check with Canon for that.  The printer was not a problem, my dear old keyboard is still going but I might change it for the new one but the keys look so tiny.  And that's another thing, the desktop is a quarter of the size of the old one.
One more thing out of the way are the new vertical blinds. Fortunately the colour that I really wanted was one of only 3 on special. See how cunning they are, advertise big sale but only 3 colours.  The first words of that man's mouth was, "I see you have a cat." as stupid was sitting on the tv unit with his head through another new hole.
Computer bloke said he'd get rid of the box for me, too late the Ice Bear was already in it. Obviously not a cat person. He's bored with it now unless I put a hole in the top which will confuse him no end.

Hopefully I'm back for a while until the drugs stop working but at the moment I am zen calm.