SERENITY

I missed 'Revenge of the Sith' due to circumstances beyond my control because I couldn't think of a way to fob off the gas and electricity and their bills took months to pay off. I was determined not to miss 'Serenity'. I rolled up for my Gold Class ticket only to find it was showing at theatre 1. I was stunned, a good science fiction not in Gold Class, followed by total shock as I saw my favourite theatre was showing....'Deuce Bigelow'. Rob Schneider had made a personal appearance to promote this tripe so they showed it in my Gold Class. Couldn't they have shuffled it off after he left the country?

School holidays were in full swing so I was ankle-deep in popcorn carrying munchkins. Luckily for me they were all going to see "Sharkboy and Lavagirl' in 3D so I settled in to enjoy 'Serenity'. I wasn't comfortable, no footrest, the screen didn't look right and the seat next to me was way too close. I'm used to having the nearest coughing, sneezing pervert at least a metre away. No servant to bring the coffee either not that I drink in the dark, I can spill enough under an MCG spotlight. At one screening, a man had food and drink delivered every 15 minutes and never missed his mouth.

I decided not to let 'uncomfortable' ruin the film but the movie trailers and THE AD didn't make it easy. Why does every spooky movie have an insane, wailing, scratching, clawing psychopathic black cat in it? It makes me nervous knowing I have two of them at home just waiting for the right full moon. Then there was THE AD. I'd seen in on TV and gone 'erk' but when it's on an enormous screen it really slaps you in the face. Don't ask me the name of the car the two naked people are flogging (I doubt anyone in Oz knows) but the sight of him bending over to put the car keys in his sock made me lean back in my seat. Where are the protesting religious fanatics when you need them?

By the way, the film was great but I think I lost my hearing in the first half hour. I never have that trouble in Gold Class (I should get a freebie for these plugs) where the noise is a reasonable level, not too loud, but enough to cover the chomping and slurping. The box office gross hasn't been good which means they'll push it to DVD fast which means I can buy it and enjoy it in my own Gold Class (I really need a freebie) with one eye on the cats and no car ads.