Sunday, October 30, 2005


It's been one of those weekends when I'll be glad to see Monday.
First I want to offer a reward to the person who can bring me the head of the designer of my water heater. Fortunately I discovered the water was cold before the late night shower or I would also want his lungs and heart ripped out. Who would design a heater where to see the pilot light you have to lay flat on the ground? While holding down the pilot switch with one hand and flicking the ignite button with the other as you try to read the instructions. I am dyslexic with instructions at any time and when I get half way through the list, it says 'don't ignite for 5 minutes to let unburnt gas .....' . I didn't read past this I was too busy running for cover.
I rang my nephew who came straight over in case I was in the process of blowing up the neighbourhood.

While I had the 6'4" brick outhouse here I got him to open the plastic container of Drano. That's another designer I want drawn and quartered. I don't have a big hand and this container is large. The instructions say, press down, squeeze sides in at the marks and twist, which only works if you have hands the size of Hagrid's. I can't even blame the Blight for clogging up the drains with his moulting since the hair I drag out is long and red.

I sat down with the Sunday paper then to calm down and wait for the water to heat up, by which time I would be out of the mood to do the dishes. See good can come out of bad. Reading about the latest idiocy of the Federal Government put me right back in the 'bring me his head' mode.
Prof. Ian Harper, the head of Howard's new Fair Pay Commission will let his Christian faith provide him with a moral compass in the task of setting wages. He has spent a lot of time praying about this and believes that God's will is important to be done in the world. The last time I looked this was a secular Parliament. I don't mind him being a Christian but that is his private business and should not have anything to do with Government business and if he can't separate the two, he should not take the position.

The only thing that saved the weekend was the ABC and it's marvellous programme on The Divine Michelangelo. So well done that last week I could almost see the lice crawling in his hair because he never washed. The first time I saw a statue carved from marble, I was very young but I remember I just had to touch the flowing robes because they looked so real. It was the same watching the statue of David from different angles. I liked the science the program introduced as well. How the workers moved the statue, how the marble was quarried and how the fresco medium was mixed. Please sir, ABC, sir, can I have some more?

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