Sunday, October 30, 2005


"Shakespeare could hardly quill a stanza without inserting profanities of the day like 'zounds' or 'sblood' - offensive contractions of 'God's Wounds' and 'God's Blood' - or some wondrous sexual pun"
John McWhorter, an expert on the psychology of swearing at the Manhattan Institute, New York, criticises a proposed bill to limit obscenities on American airwaves, saying that swearing is a universal in human language.
Bless that syphilitic little quill pusher. This is also the man who Brendan Nelson says we should read more of in our schools. A combined course in profanity and sex-ed is what every teenager needs.

I swear a lot.
I swear like a trooper.
I swear like a blue water sailor.
I was taught to swear by a blue water sailor.
I swear because it's great for pain relief.
I taught my white haired mother to swear and I know I'll pay for that when I finally met up with my father again.
Being a woman I swear at men.
Being a lefty I swear at the right.
Being poor I swear at the rich which will change when I'm rich, then I'll swear at the poor.
Being fat I swear at size 8's.
I'd swear at teenagers but they swear back with bigger words.

My sister swears and we often swear in tandem. We have a habit of saying FIGJAM to the overly confident who aren't as wonderful as they like to think they are. Being shorthand it preserves our dignity in polite company. I've even gone all Elizabethan and shouted 'God's Death' (#@*# TV shows). I keep a swear tin by the computer and use it to keep my blog clean, mostly.

Now the fun's gone out of it. It's legit. It's universal in human language, bugger it. *clunk*
The academics have taken the %$@# fun out of a @#%* good sport, when everyone knows the only obscenity on American airwaves is GDubya. Bless his @#&* little @#&* cotton @#$* socks.

Yigfurk and have a @#$* nice day.

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