TRUMPET BLOWING

I have been doing some cleaning, some putting away and some throwing out which could be the cause of the downpours we've been having. Start building the Ark now for when I start on the desk behind me. I don't think I've seen the surface of that in two years, I'll know by the date on the last science item I come across.

I was in two minds about keeping my order books from the craft market. I mean, do I really need reminding about freezing cold mornings and month to month deadlines. So I started to go through 15 years of making and selling. The amount and variety of the items I made almost sent me into shock. Did I ever sleep? I know I never did housework. Photographs show my loungeroom in a perpetual state of disgrace, the years are indistinguishable but I can tell the seasons according to slippers or thongs.
I found this photo of an idea I 'borrowed' from an American wedding book. I started craft long before the internet and blogs so the only way to stay ahead was to adapt an idea. If it was from America, I had 6 months to make it and sell it before it hit the Australian market and then it was all over red rover.

Wedding guest books are readily available now, along with ostrich feather fan pens but way back then, unobtainable except for those with big money. This was heavy cardboard, covered in taffeta moire, edged with guipure lace. I embroidered the initials and made the flowers. The first one had the signature pages attached until I had feed back about what boozy wedding guests could do to taffeta. After that I put in separate sheets of heavy embossed paper which circulated while the book stayed at the Bride's table.

When I look in wedding books these days, this seems so amateurish but back then it was inexpensive and personalized and girls kept coming back for more. The one photo I wish I did have but never thought to take was of the toasting goblets. Tall glasses with guipure flowers stuck to the glass, beaded and beribboned. I also made horseshoes until dressmakers realized how profitable it was to make one out of the wedding dress material. They never did quite match my tiny porcelain shoes covered in lace and beads. They've everywhere now, with a couple of pearls, ratty flower and cheap ribbon.

So if you want somewhere to go tomorrow, the Dingley Craft Market in Marcus Road will be open for business from 9p.m. I won't be there, I'll be under the doona.

CHEESECAKE BROWNIES

YUM!

DROOL!

REALITY CHECK!

WEIGHT 131.5kgs

CRAP!

DIET TIPS NOs. 324 TO 331

Burn your mouth with hot soup.

Eat ice-cubes for the next 24 hours.

Do not open the pictures in the email from Taste.com.

If you open the pictures DO NOT print out the recipe for Cheesecake Brownies.

Do not read text messages from a sister lounging by a logfire in a pub near the 11 Apostles.

If you read the message, do not answer her query, "Should I order the sticky date pudding for you? with cream?"

Do not be rude and text back "Choke". It won't help because you'll still want the bloody pudding.

I mean who goes down the Great Ocean Road in this weather just to booze in a warm pub all day and torture people with text messages. If you're reading this, tart, I'm spending your inheritance tomorrow.

IN THE STARS

Of course I don't believe in astrology which is why I read Jonathon Cainer every morning just to be able to say that night, "It didn't happen". Today though he really had me in mind.

"Imagine a world where laughter is forbidden by some dire, dour, despot. Anything even remotely amusing is banished and banned. A rebel like you, in such a world, would join an underground society of illegal gigglers, gathering secretly in soundproof rooms to trade jokes."

He's not wrong. I've written before about this family's shocking sense of humour in inappropriate situtations. Helen from the CastIronBalcony had a distressing evening a few weeks ago when she introduced male/female friends only to have the male behave like a complete moron although he probably felt safe asking for a blowjob in a crowded place. If I had been on the asking end of this question, laughter would have been heard on the International Space Station. I would have asked him for a rubber glove and two large sticks before I touched him while laughing fit to bust.

Helen's friend was a lady but I'm far from refined and sarcasm to reduce a sexual pest to his lowest common denominator has always been my stock in trade. Marriage gave me opportunity to refine this skill (apols to those with happy marriages) into an art form. A run in with me might have taught him to keep his hands and his guttermouth away from all women in future.

Jonathon then continues with my daily advice,
"In one (and, I hasten to add, only one) area of your life now, you appear to be suffering from sense of humour failure. The reasons are understandable enough. But soon, you'll feel better. To hasten the process, smile."

Okay, smiling like a Great White but it's not doing much good. Forgot to get an Ozlotto for tonight so I won't be rich tomorrow. Spend an hour on the phone with Mother revising the shopping list I spent an hour doing with her yesterday. Overnight, she has gone off that brand of bread, that taste of biscuit, that type of chicken and she'd rather have the round flat things instead of the round flat things with the holes or the round flat things with grapes. That means get pikelets not crumpets or fruit muffins.

Can you see me smiling through the grinding of teeth?

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

I picked up a book from the op-shop on the way to Mum's, my kind of price $1. It's called 'Slaves of Chic' an A-Z of consumer pleasures by Joanne Finkelstein and it was published in 1994 and after reading the introduction and the first chapter, I find consumer pleasure hasn't changed much in thirteen years.

"Take the example of the Filofax diary: this expensive item is ostensible for the purpose of keeping better records, of having on hand all the bits and pieces of information we may require during the demands of a working day. With the Filofax we can immediately know where to take a client for lunch because we have listed various restaurants, their telephone numbers and notes about their style of cuisine and cost of wine. We also have on record our exercise program, calorific intake, the golf handicap of our partner, what outfit was worn on which occasion, and a map of the Paris Metro. These data files make us think we are in control. And the Filofax is marketed with that promise, it is advertised cheekily with the French promise of being an aide-memoire. But at the same time, contrary to what we think we are doing, we are unkowingly weakening memory; the Filofax diary, with its accumulation of incoherent fragments actually prevents the formation of those mental links that constitute memory."

Now all you have to do is substitute 'Blackberry', computer laptop or mobile phone for the 21st Century and the above still rings true. How many out there have panicked when the mobile can't be found, when the Blackberry goes missing, when the laptop crashes? And a new horror is about to be released, the iApple, which removes the need for iPod, mobile phone and Blackberry. Already it's the 'must have' for the younger set, several of whom I watched being interviewed. They were almost drooling at the thought of being the first to own one.

I have a mobile phone with emergency numbers but all my friends are in address books where I, being old-fashioned, write down their particulars including birthdays. I have these books by the side of every telephone. I have a huge calendar in the kitchen. I write down websites in my paper computer book. You might call me a 'memory' tragic. I can't remember my own mobile number so it's on the phone in case of emergency when I might have to call myself. My mental links are permanently broken in the use of numbers of any kind but I used to use them before my brain aged.

I think this is problem with us oldies. I need to hold a piece of paper with written words before it becomes believable information. Memorising spelling, arithmetic, multiplication tables and grammar was great for the brain but don't ask me now to do any of that without a pencil and paper. I admit to some envy when a 12 year old picks up a mobile and performs a routine akin to a space shuttle launch countdown but how much is familiar use and how much is memory? A moot question since the radiation will probably burn his grey cells to a crisp before he's 15. Get a pencil and paper kid, the worst you can get is a paper cut.

'Slaves of Chic' promises to be terrific blog fodder.

GO HERE FOR CRYSTALS

This shop is wonderful for crystals of all types, fairy crafts or just looking. While you're there don't miss going to the back through the red velvet curtains and saying hello to Oracle the gold flecked ragdoll cat who sits on a purple silk cushion on a red velvet chair. A truly regal cat.

This is Leo, a bluemitted ragdoll cat and the closest I could find resembling the beautiful Oracle.

GALAXY POLL

"We've done the research and it's a landslide.

A GetUp-commissioned Galaxy poll last weekend reveals a whopping 71 per cent of Australians, including 63 per cent of Coalition voters, believe same s-x* couples should have the same rights as heterosexual couples in de facto relationships.

These results should make all Australians proud. Yet on Friday, the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission released its year-long inquiry into same sex discrimination which reveals that discrimination remains ingrained in 58 pieces of federal legislation.

From superannuation and workers' compensation to Medicare, tax and pensions, Australians are treated like second-class citizens purely on the basis of their sexual orientation."

Thank you John Howard, your prejudice about gay pride is still enshrined. Unfortunately little Kevie doesn't seem to be much better and I can't see a pay rise getting the kind of politician that anti-discrimination needs.

You can sign the petition here http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/EqualBeforetheLaw

UPDATE: 15,039 signatures so far, click the link as we're aiming for 20,000

I WAS HERE YESTERDAY

I was hoping to see some of these gorgeous Rosellas and maybe collect a feather or two.

They fly around these parts, the lovely Dandenong Ranges.

Except when there's cloud. One huge cloud sitting as low down as the road from Ferntree Gully to Olinda to Kalorama.

So I did the only thing possible in the circumstances and headed for the cake and coffee shop.

Non-stop talking with the mountain Bwca and Miss Eagle didn't leave much time for cake but I managed both talk and cake. I can multi-task with the best.

MODEL'S LIFE

I've been reading a book about Paris fashions and one of the chapters was written by Penelope Portrait who modelled for Carven in the early fifties. Her measurements were 34 inch bust, 22 inch waist and 35 inch hips, please compare to the walking skeleton in the previous post. In the fifties, one's shape determined which designer the model would work for.

I loved this bit of old world advice.

"There was no room for complexes at fitting sessions. We were treated and talked about like objects. Heaven knows what the Women's Lib. ladies would have thought of it, but they didn't exist then and I loved every minute of it. I learned all sorts of odd things that were really nothing to do with fashion at all, but which have stayed with me, and, I think, served me well since.
One day, for instance, after hours of standing and being stuck with pins, I flopped down into a chair beside the man who designed the extravagant, beaded embroidery used on the evening dresses. He was a charming old man, sympathetic and invariable good tempered.
"Oh Lord, my feet are absolutely killing me," I moaned, rubbing them. "My dear", he replied, "never, ever say "My feet hurt", it's squalid. If you're tired and want to stop, say "My foot hurts". It gets the same results and makes a man think of a delicate, flower-like little foot, too fragile to take another step".

I happened to look at my delicate little feet after I read that, sitting flower-like in down at heel, chewed up motheaten last year's slippers and thought to myself, the romance has definitely gone out of these tootsies. What a delicious word is 'squalid'. One immediately thinks of blondes.

TODAY'S QUIZZ

What is going on underneath this Vera Wang slinky evening gown? There are some strange lumps in all the wrong places. I can't help it, being picky is so much better than dealing with dust dingos.

YOU KNOW THAT.......

.......feeling, the one where you glimpse something out of the corner of your eye.
You turn around and you're sure you saw a dark something slither away.

Well, I had that last night.
There was a draft coming in the door. That door which is always open just a bit because the cat likes it open and what the cat likes, it gets or you do.

So something rolls past me, into full eyesight.

You just know it's time to get the machine out when the dust bunnies are morphing into dust dingos.

IF I WAS......

......going to wear THAT colour, I'd wear this tiara. The acid green of the Peridots would compliment nicely.
And if I wore THAT colour, it would be in Thai silk not some crushy glossy satin.

NO SCALES THIS WEEK

I'm giving the scales a miss this week. It's been too cold, too stressed and I've eaten everything except the paint off the walls. Then I'm going shopping Thursday and trekking the hills on Friday if the Bureau of Misinformation doesn't stuff up the "sun and no rain" forecast.

Besides if I lost too much weight, my brain cells might die and I just might be tempted to wear something purple and shiny and ruffley with bows and a train. And not even a tiara, how trashy!



Sorry I think I'll go poke my eyes out with a Manolo stilleto heel.

WE HAVE WINTER

I'm going to the Dandenongs tomorrow, forecast is 11 degrees with hail and thunderstorms. That makes me officially insane. As long as it doesn't snow. I'm meeting a mountain Bwca and we're going to have lotsa cake and coffee and drool in shop windows. We're too clumsy to shoplift. If I don't blog for a few days, send the SES out to look for my broken broom and my ruby slippers.

Mr Abbott got told off for supporting corporal punishment in schools. Caning, strapping or any of the other wallopings I saw in my days at school did nothing but hurt and humiliate children. Mr. 'Family Council of Australia' Muehlenberg said teachers should be able to use an occasional smack. That's great coming after the details of the 160 bruises and injuries sustained by one little boy before his death last year. Mr. M. has a blog. It was listed at the Australian Index and I clicked over thinking it couldn't be him but yes, the dark side has a blog. Don't go there.

I'm taking this next bit out of context since it was part of a regular column in the SHS.
"Christians say that in Christ there is no male or female, Jew or Greek, slave or free person. We are to live in respect as one family". "no male or female" just one family so what's the carryon about same-sex love or same-sex marriage?

The other article had me really going "D'oh". "Child-care experts say parents are ignoring advice to limit baths to two or three times a week because they are obsessed about keeping babies clean and germfree" What???? I realize that with disposable nappies keeping urine and poop off the baby's skin it probably means a bath in the morning and night is excessive but keep it to two or three times a week. Call me old fashioned but that is just crazy. A warm bath is so relaxing for a baby. They kick, splash, play with toys and laugh. I read elsewhere that child rearing experts are undermining mothers' parenting skills and if this is what they're advising, ignore them.

And now for my encore. A well deserved slam at WeightWatchers. Their rotten little chemical laden desserts are now shown to have hydrogenated fat in them. This is unhealthy nasty bad fat which is made from good healthy oil. I refuse to eat any WW food. I'm not lining their pockets with any of my money. No weigh in here either, I forgot this morning. I'll do it tomorrow before I go touring.

KUDELKA RULES!

The image on its own is funny but you have to go to http://101usesforajohnhoward.com/ and read the story. Kudelka, thanks for the laughs. I want this man to be made a Prince Of Australia when Kevie gets in unless he has a blogspot of 101 uses for Krudd.

THE SENATOR'S BEEN EMAILING AGAIN

AUSTRALIA'S PARLIAMENT HOUSE IS AUSTRALIA'S PORN HOUSE
Online porn is freely available to Australia's federal politicians and their staff in Parliament House and their offices around the country.

A FAMILY FIRST investigation has discovered there is no Internet filter on the Australian Parliament's computer system, making Parliament House a workplace that peddles porn.
While bureaucrats have porn sites blocked, politicians and their staff do not, proving yet again there's one rule for politicians and one for everyone else.

FAMILY FIRST's investigation also revealed there are no Internet filters at public libraries in Victoria, including major centres like Geelong, Mount Waverley and Richmond. Children can simply log on to computers and have their minds polluted by porn and violence.

FAMILY FIRST leader Steve Fielding today lashed out at the Government in a Senate Estimates hearing, accusing it of peddling sex, smut and sleaze and potentially feeding some people's porn addiction.

He also accused the Government of hypocrisy. In 2005, more than 60 Coalition MPs wrote to the Prime Minister demanding tougher action on online porn and violence. But for politicians it is okay; they can feast on a diet of sickening porn every day if they choose.

Communications Minister Helen Coonan has talked tough about cracking down on Internet porn, saying on June 14 last year, "The Government has committed to doing everything reasonably possible to ensure that all Australians – particularly children – are safe on the Internet."
What an absolute farce when politicians themselves are served free porn.

They're getting free porn????

Now if that's not an incentive to be a politician, I don't know what is.

You've gotta love Fielding, he cracks me up with every newsletter.

CRAP

Well the educational quota of the blog has just been filled. I have a new meme thanks to the halfhearted hack but it's taking a bit of time, 10 things I hate about people. It's the narrowing down to 10 that's the trouble. At least it's not 10 things I like about people, that would take a bit of brain power and possibly lying. 10 things I hate about my mother could get a run.

There have been a few deaths around the blogosphere in the past month and they're been people who have been dearly loved. This is why I've been reluctant to post anything about my mother who is driving us to the brink of insanity.

How do you deal with someone who is fine at the start of a conversation and does a 360 degree in the middle and ends up by changing into Linda Blair short of the green projectile vomiting.
She has vowed and declared to one and all that she is not leaving her home again except by feet first and if she could take one of us to serve her in the afterlife, she'd do it.

The nurses say agree with everything she says and do it your way. They're not living with her. Thank the goddess I'm not actually living in the same house with her. I vaguely remember thinking I would move in and look after her when this all started, I put it down to loss of memory as to what it was like to live with her. She is such a control freak that when they're screwing down the lid of the coffin, she'll be yelling, "use nails, they're cheaper".

We had an extremely feral weekend with her because her sister got to visit somewhere that Ma has wanted to go. Her friend, the only one she can rely on, (don't count us, we're in the slave quarters) is going away for three weeks. So the signs for peace in our time are disappearing as we countdown to the departure date.

By the time she had asked me for the fifth time, "What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this bad?" I lost the plot and told her straight, "You're dying, come to terms with this and deal with it". She replied, "No I'm not." And I have been paying for that ever since. Whatever is playing bingo with her brain cells is making her twisted, bitter and downright nasty. I'm turning into a hard hearted bitch in order to keep from going under. So sorry to all those people in blogland who have lost someone they loved. Sorry about the bitching but it's hard to lose someone when they're still alive.

READY TO GO

There it is, our lovely $207 million Australian Synchrotron. If you think that's a little expensive just remember what the Federal Government is spending on advertising its grotty policies that no-one wants. The synchrotron is right next door to Monash University in Clayton where some of our best researchers are working when they're not wasting time by flying all over the world to other countries to use their synchrotrons.

This is a 3-giga-electronvolt (medium energy) light source and is the largest in the Southern Hemisphere. It has the capacity for more than 30 beamlines. Nine have been proposed and five have already been installed ready to go in July 2007. They will be used for high-throughput protein crystallography, powder defraction, X-ray absorption spectroscopy, soft X-ray spectroscopy and infrared spectroscopy. All of these are used in forensic science, drug design, radiation therapy and IVF studies.

Daniel Hausermann, a Swiss physicist was recruited to design one of the beamlines. The 150- metre-long medical imaging beamline will help to deliver more precise and effective radiation therapies and detect cancers near the single cell stage. At the moment a smear test for cervical cancer already contains numerous cells. To image and diagnose a single cancer cell would mean less invasive treatments.

The Australian Government has promised $50 million over the facility's first five years of operation. That's $50 million over five years and it's only promised not granted. For the scientists and researchers using the synchrotron, fighting for every grant dollar will still take up to much time better spent on their work.

TANZANITE

There isn't that better than daggy old rubies. It would mean I'd have to have a new velvet dress with a low cleavage.

A lovely deep violet colour. A dark violet though, nothing light coloured, not in velvet. With all my comfy curves I could be mistaken for a sofa and sat on.

I don't even need real diamonds. Man-made diamonds are catching up in quality to the real thing. Not cubic zirconias but real diamonds made in a laboratory and only a microscope knows for sure. I'd rather have the bit of heaven pictured above.

RUBIES

The Duchess of Cornwall likes rubies and so does her cleavage judging by this photo. I'm not fussed about rubies, they clash with my hair so I think I would replace them with Tanzanites, lovely violetty blue stones.

Yes, much better for me.

She said her tiara was uncomfortable, too heavy, I'm really cut up about that. I, of course, handle a tiara very well and I definitely have the cleavage to handle that necklace, with Tanzanites.

QUEEN'S BIRTHDAY

I can always rely on Taste.com to drive me crazy with food photos. This lot is special as they're some of the Queen's favourites. She likes roast beef and yorkshire pudding, cold roast beef sandwiches and scones with jam and cream.

She also likes sticky date toffee pudding.

She likes bread and butter pudding.

And she washes the lot down with a martini! No wonder she looks great at 81.

If I ate all those I wouldn't make it to 81 but what a way to go.

THE BABIES FOR GAYS DEBATE

Yes, that was the heading on page 39 of the SundayHeraldCrumb.

On the gay side, talking about their twins and the Victorian Law Reform Commission were Sarah and Felicity Marlowe. As they pointed out "Nowadays it would be unthinkable for children born to unmarried heterosexual parents to be treated as "illegitimate" second class citizens. Society can, and does, change its attitudes."

The Commission reviewed 30 years of research and concluded that children are in no way disadvantaged by having same-sex parents. It showed that quality of parenting matters, not the parents gender or sexuality. It has made 130 recommendations.

For more information go to http://www.rainbowfamilies.org.au

For the nay side we have Peter Stokes, CEO Salt Shakers Christian Ethics Group. He's brilliant because he knows that only two people of the opposite gender actually fit together naturally. He also says there is no scientific evidence to suggest that anyone is actually born a homosexual. He has many friends who have left the homosexual lifestyle.
Then he quotes statistics, 50,000 marriages out of a total of more than 4.5 million, break down each year in Australia, 72 per cent of all children live with their biological mother and father and the vast majority of marriages are happy, monogamous and last a lifetime.

On the other hand, statistics show that few same-sex relationships are monogamous and they generally lack longevity. Most last less than five years and a large proportion less than two years. (That will be news to quite a few of my gay friends in fifteen to thirty years relationships)

He then brings out the usual arguments, depriving children of a natural mother and father, advancing the notion that children do not need a mother and a father, recognition of same-sex relationships will undermine marriage and it will remove the very foundation set by God and recognised by social analysts across the world as the basic building block of civil society.

Bill Muehlenberg, spokesman for the Family Council of Victoria, claims 10,000 studies show children are raised better under a mother and father structure and lesbian couples suffer a lifestyle choice of social infertility.

Why is it that when this is an issue of reform to remove unjust laws that directly effect children that christian men are speaking about it in terms of religion? I was under the impression that church and state were separate in this country.

But hetero parents are the best parents for children. I mean the Victorian firearms lobby must have stacks of hetero families and their way to keep children safe is to give firearms safety lessons to 10 year old children. They're going to give them a chance to shoot guns as well as they would undertake supervised shooting at shooting ranges.

According to Combined Firearms Council of Victoria president Bill Paterson, controlled use of real guns would counter damage done to children who use firearms for virtual killing in video games.

Jeebus hates crumpets, how do you deal with people like this. Aren't we enough like America now without this sort of rubbish? What was the point of the firearms buyback scheme if the lobby wants to teach kids to fire guns?
Firearms safety isn't an issue in a society that doesn't have guns issued at all. All farms have guns for humane killing of animals and farmers teach their own children how to use them.
We don't need this in our schools.
I didn't see Stokes or Muehlenberg being asked for an opinion on this. I can't think why not, they open their mouths about everything else.

BIRTHDAY WEEKEND

131.1.05 kgs. See I'm nothing if not honest. I could have left off the .o5gm and made myself look better.

I'm sure this is due to two intensive days in the garden if you can call three hours, a day.

I pruned the two trees and tied up the cuttings and they're out waiting for the chomper.

I planted a geranium and I'll flatten the next bird I see digging up the dirt in the pot looking for worms. A whole yard to dig and they want my pot plant. I will withdraw the evening seedfeast, that'll show them.

I moved three scoria rocks from the front garden to the back garden. This is an on-going project of some two years but I'm getting there. Was getting there, my wheelbarrow has a flat tyre.

I hurt in a lot of places and I'm scratched. No bruises, I don't get bruises falling on grass. My immune system is in great shape though, judging by the battle going on inside my upper arm which is the only part of me that hit a tree branch, right on top of the flu vac site.

Okay, I'll take the hint and give up gardening for the winter.

NEW BOOK

There is a new book being published this month by Robert Larkins, called Funeral Rights: What the Australian "Death Care" Industry doesn't want you to know. (Viking $32.95)

The book not only lifts the lid on the Industry's aggressive sales tactics but also explores the history of death rites. Larkins highlights the short use-by dates for graves, grave sharing, lack of industry diversity and big coffin mark-ups.

I didn't know the funeral business here is unregulated or that it's worth about $700 million a year and how couldn't they make a profit, charging $700 for a chipboard coffin worth $80. If you want an eco-friendly cardboard coffin, it costs as much as a wooden one. Larkins isn't in favour of elaborate stone memorials either.

I was really interested in his views since I've pre-arranged my Mother's funeral. I dealt with a small firm and there was no high pressure sales pitch involved although that could be because they weren't dealing with a recently bereaved and distraught woman. We did go for the chipboard option which was Mum's suggestion after she looked at coffin prices and I've kept my promise to make an elaborate casket quilt to hide it. (like the wedding dress superstition, I haven't put the last stitches to it until the time comes)

The flowers were a set price but I could have gone higher or lower but working within that set price I got exactly the roses that Mum specified. I was also asked what I wanted to do with them. When I said we wanted them to go on my Father's grave, they offered to do that at no extra charge. The girl also explained to me about donations to the Cancer fund, the wording means that funds go towards research or to purchase equipment which is another thing I didn't know.

The cost of the funeral isn't extravagant but we have no way of paying for it upfront so for a fee of $250 they will wait until the estate is settled. I also engaged The Blight as a celebrant and I bet he has the cheek to charge me but since I'm writing the eulegy I'll make sure I write something he'll choke on having to say it.

If I had my way there wouldn't be a funeral service at all. I object to being nice to relatives and friends who turn up to a funeral but never came to see her when she was alive and would have appreciated a visit. And it was the relo's who annoyed me most when I was making the arrangements. What gives them the right to put in their two cents worth? "It's our final goodbye" was the standard answer to that question. I rather think a "first hello" and a bunch of flowers for the old girl now would mean a lot more.

I had to make one more promise to Mum so I have to be polite and see her off in a dignified manner. So unlike my wedding day, there will be no punch-ups with the relatives and no free booze.

THE ECONOMY IS RISING, damn!

Cat food was up again.

The Doctor's bill is up.

The colour enhancing cream for my naturally coloured red hair has gone up $2.

Nimbin cheese is up, again.

And *gasp* Bombay Sapphire is up $1.98.

The bus fare went up.

My blood pressure is up and stupid doctor asks me why.

Weight is down but I'll wait for official weigh-in Saturday just in case it was all a dream.

Wonder of wonders, Myers still have odment tables during the sales. I am now the owner of a very large rainbow lustre Martini glass, cost $2.

Why can't a doctor's surgery have a box by the door containing paper face masks for the sniffling, coughing germ ridden hordes who invade the waiting room.

I had the flu vaccine today but it may not save me from the common cold germs thrown at me this morning. Why, sneezing, coughing old man, did you have to sit beside me when there were four vacant chairs on the other side of the room? Why, snoting, hacking old lady, did you have to pick up the one magazine I wanted and breathe on it? It had lovely bathroom renovations and I wouldn't have touched it with latex gloves and two sticks.

I didn't find the jewellery sale until I wasted money on food.

'Such is life' as some idiot once said.

YESTERDAY

Yesterday was a bad day for train travel. It was bad for passengers and not made any better for relatives and family by cameras filming the arrival of the badly injured at airports. It wasn't necessary for cameras to linger as long as they did and then to make it worse the TV stations used the same images in news promos throught the early part of the evening.

There was some excitement in my neck of the woods when I walked to Mum's yesterday. Sirens, police cars and the police helicopter hovering very low. The girls in the pharmacy told me they had watched a car trying to elude police down Warrigal Road but it looks like I'll have to wait for the local paper to find out what that was about. The rest of the news after the crashed train was taken up with Paris Hilton and footballers.

Did anything good happen? Yes, if you count watching a bank of cloud coming across the bay and hitting the warmer air over land which caused it to rear up like a wave hitting the beach. It was almost as good as last week when the wind was coming from different directions, differing speeds and various levels. I could have sworn I saw a lenticular cloud build up just for a few minutes. It's been very cold for the past couple of nights but worth leaving the drapes open to watch the full moon move across the window behind my computer.

Any other good happenings? The Waterlily Camelia survived the summer and is flowering. The lemon tree, likewise and is loaded with fruit. The lime tree has flowers but the grapefruits looks like it might take another 6 months to recover. It's branch cutting season and I tried to prune but while the mind is willing the body is not. I'll wait for the mower man.

CHANGES

"Recent changes to the legislation of the Australian Citizenship Act, likely to commence on July 1, 2007, mean that gay emigrants may face new hurdles in their quests to become Australian citizens.
The major amendment to the Act alters the length of the residence qualifying period, doubling the compulsory length of time an applicant must live in Australia before applying for citizenship. An applicant will be required to live in the country for four years, with absences totalling no more than twelve months, before applying. Of those four years, a potential applicant must hold permanent residency for at least twelve months, with absences totalling no more than three months.
These changes will only affect potential citizenship applicants who have not gained permanent residency status before the new Act commences. Current holders of Australian PR would only be required to meet the current two year residential qualifying period as long as they apply for citizenship within three years of the new Act."

At the Government site http://www.citizenship.gov.au there is a list of over one hundred and forty community groups giving their views of the proposed changes. There are religious groups, migrant communities and Councils but not one gay organisation. There's even the R.S.P.C.A.
The Gay and Lesbian Immigration Task Force in Victoria http://www.glitfvic.org.au has been helping gay and lesbian couples seeking Permanent Residency status for over twenty years and I didn't see them on the list. There are a lot of religious groups and the Minister for all this......Kevin Andrews, Liberal and religious fruitcake.

Thanks to Steve Wright at Stevivor.com for the use of his words.

NEW WORD

The term biophotonics denotes a combination of biology and photonics, with photonics being the science of direct manipulation of photons, quantum units of light. Photonics is related to electronics in that it is believed that photons will play a similar central role in future information technology as electrons do today.
Biophotonics has therefore become the established general term for all techniques that deal with the relation of biological material and photons. This refers to emission, detection, absorption, reflection, modification, and creation of radiation from living organisms and organic material. Areas of application are life science, medicine, agriculture, and environmental science.

That is what you get when you read new words in an article and you go to Wiki. Then you follow all the other words and get lost for an hour and still can't get the brain to accept biophotonics as something it's ever going to understand. It has applications in microscopy.

Now ask me about acoustic levitation. I've almost got that one except how it works but it sounds great, like the Rolling Stones on a high.

THIS IS BETTER

I rather like this glass, it's not as modern and more curvy like me. I stole the pic from http://www.luxury-gadgets.com and that is my kind of website.

Bombay Sapphire has a unique distillation process using a Carterhead still. (I'm still trying to google that). Unlike other gins which boil their botanicals with the spirit, the Bombay spirit is distilled alone. Then to get the unique flavour, the spirit passes through the botanicals in vapour form. This allows each delicate aroma to be fully absorbed.

Triple distilled, 100% neutral grain spirit is heated into vapour form. Vapour is sent through the rectifying column, unique to a Carterhead still. The baffle system, situated in the column, allows only the purest spirit to pass through.
Purified vapour passes through a copper basket containing 10 natural botanicals and absorbs their delicate flavours. The vapour is turned into liquid and received into a spirit safe as Bombay Sapphire.
The selection and balance of their botanicals is based on a recipe dating from 1761 and no expense is spared. Then Bombay Sapphire is blended with pure water from Lake Vymwy and bottled.
Okay after going through all that, I'm going to stop whining about the cost.

CIVIL WAR SOLDIER

This is from the ex's side of the family and I was lucky I had a couple of copies made. It was a tiny photograph tucked in the family Bible and I had it photographed to get a negative. The Bible was one of those huge Victorian decorated ones but it was thrown up into a musty cupboard and left and when I finally got my hands on it, a lot of damage had been done. None of the photographs were labelled, a piece of silk supposedly from a flag made during the War of Independence couldn't be verified but the marriages and deaths had been filled in, after a fashion.

Even though the outside cover was made of tooled leather, the spine was broken in places and it was fragile to handle much. In one of my more genius moments, I consulted with a carpenter friend about making a Bible Box to keep it in. My idea was to make something that would fold out, letting the pages be turned but not actually having to pick it up. We finally came up with the idea of using piano hinges. The sides of the box were fixed but the front, top and back side were fastened with the hinges and the whole lot folded out flat, making it easy to go through the pages but never moving the book itself. My father-in-law who had shown no interest in the family history before, said thanks very much and took the box home (I paid for it) along with all the photographs and documents that I had put into acid free paper. He was a selfish old creep.

But I had kept copies of this photo but not the document that came with it although I copied the words. He wasn't from the South but from Chicago and that's all I know. From Civil War history I would say it was taken by one of the battlefield photographers as many of the soldiers were.

His first name I don't know. This poem was written by R.W.O. Rutledge, on the 20th of October, 1863.

The impress of my face I send
to you - just to impart
that good or bad its lines
portend
An index of my heart
And you who knows that heart so well
Can judge it to be true
That turning still and looking full
It fair would look on you

Impromptu, as I seal this letter.

That's another project on the backburner to look up any battles around that date and try to trace Officer Rutledge even though he isn't my side of the family.

GLASSY

Bombay Sapphire, yummmm. I wasn't looking for gin, I just wanted a party image for the weight loss post, 131.7kgs and I found this at http://www.petercrisp.com.au
He is an Australian glass artist who makes the most gorgeous glass objects including a dining set for HRH Chuck and Chick which is called Camelot. When you visit the site click on special commissions.

131.7 isn't all that much from last time but we're into the 131's and heading down. I have new digital scales, on sale, $60 off. I didn't bother with the other WeightWatcher scales, I don't have to know my body fat index, it's big and besides they cost $20 extra. Just to make sure they were good I carried them to every flat surface in the house and always the same weight. No more walking 6kms in the cold.

I have a birthday next month, any donations for a case of Bombay and one of Peter Crisp's martini glasses will be grabbed with both hands and kisses on your feet.