I can never resist a meme so I went over to http://www.masquerademaskarts.com got myself my very own Peculiar Aristocratic Title.
You may now curtsey to:
Her Exalted Highness Duchess Jennifer the Disappointing of Old Yarkhillshire.
While I was there I also opened a fortune cookie which read:
"Don't you just hate it when even the aubergines are plotting against you?"
And I thought I had to keep a close eye on the snake beans.
I can't even rely on Estate Agents, not when they send a flyer which states:
'Take your pick with this rare opportunity to be the new owner of one, two or both of these quality villas.........'
And neither or all of the two were in walking distance of Old Yarkhillshire and protected from aubergines.
12 comments:
"You may now curtsey to: Her Exalted Highness Duchess Jennifer the Disappointing of Old Yarkhillshire."
Sorry...no can do. My girdle burst last time I attempted to courtsey, knocking the Queen Mother's rotten brown teeth right out of her crab-apple head and into the crowd of cretinous flag wavers. I suppose it serves me right for attempting to curtsey in a coffin whilst being wrestled by four armed guards, but I just needed to make sure that she was actually in there.
Gin and Dubonnet will do that to teeth every time. I believe her shade to be haunting the Gilbey's distillery as we speak.
Dearest Imperial Majesty Jahteh the Subservient of Hopton Goosnargh
While I was at it I came across,
The Right Reverend Sedgwick the Imposing of Leighton in the Bucket.
Oh and he turned up too,
His Most Serene Highness Lord Brian the Tenuous of Herring-le-hole.
and of course,
His Excellency Davo the Encompassing of Frome Valley.
I bumped into,
Honourable Lady Link the Undefeated of Lardle Midhoop
My dearest regards,
Grand Duchess Caroline the Rustic of Much Bottom.
Adieu,
I have to agree Duchess Caroline that Sedgwick is really imposing when he's wearing his bucket.
There is nothing I can say about His Most Serene Highness Lord Brian the Tenuous of Herring-le-hole which just happens to be his true identity.
And 'Davo the Encompassing', that should have been His Excellency The High Admiral at least.
There's nothing tenuous about my herring-hole. Not since I had it surgically stitched back together following that nasty incident at the vindaloo festival.
Yours,
His Most Magnificent Magnified Woggle Bug, the Highly Intellectual and Enormously Girthed Lord Hughes of Fleetwood on the Wold.
'enormously girthed', I knew that photo was a touch-up.
They should include protect us from aubergines in the Lord's Prayer. It would make as much sense as what's there now.
Give me a brace of those villas, my good man, and don't spare the footpaths.
For the sake of clarity I should point out that my enormous girth was responsible for the exploding corset.
Then again the Queen Mum's body lying in state is enough to give any blue blooded male an enormous girth, I'd imagine.
Hold on...somebody's at the door. What's that? I've been invited to the Tower of London? It's about time...
Dunno who these other Davo's are .. The aristocracy is getting crowded - off with their heads!
Your humble deviant;
Sir Davo the Dishonourable, Lord High Confabulated of Lower Muckleburra.
Davo, that should have been 'Higher Muckleburra' at least.
Phil, there's nothing more dangerous than a religious vegetable, look at G W Bush for instance.
Hish! Hush, M'Lady - protocols are indeed afoot for an excursion into the Higher realms but, forsooth, 'tis secret and not to be spoken of, lest Highpersons of those regions develop further defenses against disrepute.
Your humble servant,
D
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