I'M ON THE DOWNHILL SLIDE

Dear little man at Optusnuts, you with the silly musketeer moustache and chin fluff, next time check the bloody number and make sure you haven't transposed two of them. No I didn't get the Optusnuts message because it was in a box in my bag on the way to the home in a noisy bus.
Now that is fixed and I'll take the phone back to mummy on Sunday.
The final reading arrived from AGL, paid and done.
The NOT final reading arrived from SE Water with an enormous credit. I rang up and the final account will have an even more enormous credit so as PoA, I'm transferring it to my sister's account. I have an enormous credit balance on my SE Water account so I'm either not showering enough or not doing enough washing of clothes or watering the garden.
The second draft of the will arrived and I still think he's leaving everything to the cat. Call the office and tell them he'll have to walk round to the home and get the signature but ring first in case they're cavorting at the Sportsman's Club in Mordialloc or coffee-ing at the Lolly Jar or stripping the shelves at the Chinese Emporium.
My phone bill arrived.
All this before I was outside the gate this morning.
Cab it to the home and grab the mobile, give mother her new book, pay up for lunch on Sunday and walk to the bus stop. Just remembered I have a scratchie in my purse, I could be rich and exhausted.
Damn, Big W doesn't have paint sample pots anymore.
Then Optusnuts where I look at mobile phone covers for mother but since they cost almost as much as the phone, I give them miss. Wish I could have crushed the feet of rampaging munchkins.
Shop at Safeway. Backtrack when I remember I now have a cat who likes to eat. Backtrack again because I forgot the parrot bells. So much backtracking I forget to buy chocolate or ice-cream. Faint at sight of the money going out. Bloody cat and expensive sparkly kitty litter.
Pay bills at Post Office where I find out about the difference between credit and debit on a water bill. Stupidly buy copy paper because it's cheap but still weighs a tonne and I have to carry it.
"THE BANK" is next. The least the tart could have done was ask me to sit down as I produced passport, bank cards, Power of Attorney, cheque book and the account I wanted to start up. Then I couldn't deduct the amount of money to deposit to get the balance left in the cheque account. A bit like last night when I couldn't for the life of me remember what street I lived in and just kept pointing a finger in the general direction.
Sneak everything out of the NAB and hide it so they can't have the interest until I move the pension to St. George.
Sit down for coffee and tiramisu. Bad mistake, somewhere under the table my feet went on strike and starting yelling for better working conditions.
Mustn't forget New Scientist magazines even though I'm still reading September's editions and spot new bead mag which I couldn't resist. Now if I could just reach the beads and get time to do something.
I am heading for the taxi rank, I detour for the salad bar and then I'm home, just in time to carry all the groceries inside. Actually it was good timing as he has been delivering my bags for so long with the only tip being a bag of lemons when they're ripe. He has always loved the large chimes at my front door and today I gave him the chimes from mum's place. I would have put them up at the back door but front, back and side chimes might be just a bit too much for the whinging neighbours.
Ring sister who repeats her request for copies of what's going on in case I get run over by a bus.
When I bloody know what's going on, I'll tell her.
And her Avon lady's gone on long service leave, could I ring mine and put in an order for her?
Superwoman does but only because she said I could keep the pretty silver bag the stuff comes in.
And I need a new hard drive.
And more gin.
And the cat's missing somewhere.
What doesn't kill you, makes you strong.
Pig's bum, it just drives you to drink, drugs and gambling.