Saturday, September 02, 2017

Half of me is back.

It's been a stinker of a year and I'm still not sure of making the end of December.  Mother has nearly died twice but she's still here trying to outlive her twin sister.

I have 2/3 of a complete depression which I'm sure will disappear when Optusnet decides that I don't owe them nearly $700 for doing nothing except give me depression.  They have handed me over to the debt collectors who are a call centre employed by Optus in Manila where all calls go to die.
I don't ring from home, I sit in the Optus Centre at Southland and sit and sit while in Manila they play pass the phone around the call centre but it is not my money.   They are now going to go through all the calls made since this nonsense started, well that's going to be an education in Australian swearing.

I also fell over.  As Annie O'Dyne says, rubbish bins have a negative force field and she's right. I just lost my balance slightly and went down on the nature strip but avoided rolling into the gutter and on to the road.  Managed to crawl upright and pull myself away from any 4 wheel drives.

I could see my neighbour hadn't put his bin out so I just waited for help.  Trouble was I had put on my nightdress then remembered the bins so I threw on a dress and my old comfy horse blanket. Didn't think I would need knickers being a short stroll down the drive. How wrong can one be.  The nature strip is not lush grass, it's sand and couch grass and tree roots. Sand up the wazoo and scratches over the large backside.  See, did you immedately hear you mother yelling about clean underwear in case of accidents.

Lovely man from just around the corner did a U turn and asked if he could help so I rang the ambo's and waited. I know motor bikes can be really huge but splonked on the ground they look the size of an aircraft carrier. Neighbour comes out and nearly has a heart attack but recovers nicely to ask if I had room in my bin for some of his rubbish.  Other neighbour arrives home and offers to put a rope on the tow bar and pull me up which probably would have worked but the traffic was starting and I didn't care to be mid air with the sound of screeching brakes.  The neighbours took photos, lovely of them.

By now motor bike man had picked up his daughter from Day Care and the sun was disappearing and I was chilling.  All the cars stopped to help and I felt like saying, "Beached whale, move along, nothing to see here".  Ambos turned up with the right pump up cushion and I was the centre of attention again. Being on uneven ground, one pump went one way, next pump went the other so there was a neighbour to the left of me, neighbour to the right of me and she was getting the hang of pumping, ambos to the front to stop me going too far over. With the walker in front and on the last pump, I was up and walking. The girls said they should have these pump up cushions in every ambulance until I let them know they cost up to $4000.   I walked quite steadily inside where my blood pressure was 190/90, a tad high but worse my core temperature was down below what it should be.  Sitting on crappy sand and grass with the moon coming up will do that. I wasn't going to hospital, they tried to insist but I had a date with a sand remover.

Motor bike man thought it was lovely that the Bear was sitting behind to gate to watch over me. Not likely, he hadn't been fed yet.
The next day is always the worse with sore bits and hurting muscles and I had to go to Optus who had sent me an account which I couldn't leave for too long and I was in the mood for punching someone.

So Spring has sprung and I'm sneezing, it's supposed to snow next week and I'm wondering if they'll let me take the Bear to Debtor's Prison.  One bright ray of sunshine was finding out what we all knew but he confirmed, the mad monk is a pisspot. 


River said...

Ouch! I'm glad you're okay apart from the resultant aching (I'll get mine tomorrow, I fell today) and sand where sand should never be. I bet you never go outside without your knickers again.
I hope the Optus shemozzle gets sorted satisfactorily, which means you not paying one red cent of that $700.

Elephant's Child said...

Hiss and spit. I haven't fallen over for a while, but still bear the scars on my face from when I did a face plant in the road (also putting the bins out).
I hope that Optus realises that you owe them less than nothing.
Bear is related to Jazz who would not only be sitting behind the gate but would be complaining. Loudly.

JahTeh said...

Sorry to everyone but I did not delete your comments. I was trying to get rid of the spam but blogger seems to have done something to the settings.

River, we are getting too old or the gardens and footpaths are getting too many holes in them. I'm trying to be strong about not paying but these companies will get at you and Telstra is just as bad although in my case they couldn't do enough. I don't see why I should pay a cancellation landline fee when those phone were cut off when the internet went on so I never made a call.

El Chi, oh for the old days of Boy Scouts who would do this sort of thing for a small amount of money. The Bear slept with me for two nights just to make sure I was okay. He only sleeps with me if I'm sick, keeps his little paw on my arm and I'm sure he's taking my pulse.

Anonymous said...

While the circumstances were different, I once fell down in a gutter and could not get up. It was more that I couldn't work out which way was up. Good to hear your life is progressing normally.

JahTeh said...

Dear Andrew, Mardi Gras, high heels and feathers, you should know better. How many cute things helped you out of the gutter?

R.H. said...

Go big thing.

R.H. said...


Ann ODyne said...

it's been 5 weeks darling. I hope you are on a sea cruise or something.
Camerafaces birthday today we should all celebrate
mwah mwah

R.H. said...

I've lost her address or I'd send her a funny card and see if it comes back, maybe someone else could mail her a letter. I do hope she's okay.

Rich recluse.

JahTeh said...

Dear Robbert, how very strange because in the mass cleaning I'm in the middle of, I found a Christmas card from you. I disagree with my sister that I am a hoarder because I only keep things that carry memories and I do have some funny memories of you. Gifts still hang where I can see them although I found that hanging them on books slightly pulled out of the book case make them look like flags of the Garter Knights.

R.H. said...

The only thing I know about garters is they're rude, which probably reveals my poor upbringing, I'm definitely of low character.
Meanwhile I'm pleased to find out you're okay, you truly are a funny lady with a big heart. Clever too, you are clever. Intelligent.
I'm living in Ballarat now. No one wants to buy my house in the Wimmera, selling a house in a ghost town has the ghost of a chance.
Well it's better here, less blowflies. Fewer ghosts on motorised scooters. I'm a big town man, born under a neon sign. I like the noise too; quiet evenings remind me of Pentridge, which nevertheless, wasn't all bad, it's where the war started, where I found out there was a war, Australia vs RH. If I'm asked the meaning of life I'll say it's war. for everyone. Life is war. Not many know it.
Anyway, so glad to see you here, still going. Your blog has given me a lot of fun.

JahTeh said...

I do intend to return to blogging in the new year.

I would hate to live in the country, I was born near the sea and the smell of salty air revives me.

Ann ODyne said...

I'm in the absolute country but 45 minutes from the beach at Portland and Cape Bridgewater is even better with a cafe right on the sand.
Take all the cool precautions on Wednesday. X X

R.H. said...

Good news. Excellent.
Merry Christmas big woman, and to all my darlings.

Estate agent and Pimps Corporation.

Life ain't so bad, if you've got your health and you're not in jail you're doing well.


Davoh said...

Oy, does that mean that i have to restore this blog to ..
"blogs that interest me"?

Yer, Jen, apologies am a Romantic Cynic ... meh.

Davoh said...

(sheesh RH you remain alive ? ...
Erk, no accounting fer persistence .... meh.)

Davoh said...

Robbertttt ... my wish for you this, um, Saturnalia .. IS that ..

For Every one else ... ENJOY THE FESTIVE SEASON!!!

[perhaps we'll think about Manus Island next year ....]

Davoh said...

Jen, can only WISH you All the Best ... for um,the journey forward ..
(yer, i know, cynic from way back ...but really do wish you all the best - [love is a different discussion].

R.H. said...

Hello darlings, I'm now living not far from where Hal Porter (holding a roast chicken and a bottle of plonk) got bowled over by a car for the last time. He was on his way to visit some old dowager and was upended while crossing Armstrong street. It was way back in Newport when I heard he'd died, and Australia lost its best ever writer.
Really, if you wanted a story he wasn't much good, but for style no one in the world could beat him.
There's no memorial anywhere for Hal. And that's shameful. You can be the life of the party but it goes on without you.

R.H. said...

Greetings Davo, aye and there's no accounting for dementia.
All the same, your caravan adventures were good value. You did well.