I'll have the best

 The dazzling Swarovski Room on the top level, mine all mine. Sometimes though I have been asked to turn all the lights on if it's too foggy for the local lighthouse. Now that I look at it I could use larger bedside tables, I could barely get a glass and the gin bottle on those. No wonder I keep dropping the glass and here I was thinking that I must make four my limit. I'll call my architect tomorrow.

Now don't worry about shouts for help or the clinking of chains, he calms down after a while.  It's not like I'm asking too much for him to just sit in a chair so I can look at him. Honestly the carry-on when I first bought him up here from the slave market and all he was going to get was a bath and a hair cut.

So absolutely cute sitting with all those rainbow bubbles floating around the bathroom and I did give him plenty of large towells.

I'd take the chains off if he didn't keep trying to run away and I suppose I'll have to let him go eventually. He says my eyes are wearing the skin off him but his sparkle just goes so well with the room.

How could I lose a bedroom?

Now I thought this would suit Annie O'Dyne although the Cheval mirror will have to go. The last thing we need first thing in the morning is a mirror especially one that big.

Plenty of chairs for you to stagger from one to the other.

A early morning tea table with room for a computer will be rolled in first thing.

Matching chair below hides a secret so let's just say you won't have to stagger on two sticks in the middle of the night looking for the ensuite. 

Now, River, I have to disappoint you with the teal colour, I've searched everywhere but cannot locate that bedroom.

I think this will do just beautifully, it has a matching Lola chair where she will be so comfortable.

No chandelier but isn't that panel in the ceiling just divine and there are chandeliers either side for book reading.

I think I would love waking up here although I would need a much larger bed, a lot of me would be hanging over the edges of this sweet bed.

The house is filling

 

Still with the bedrooms but so many pretty ones to look at.  This is for Elephant's Child, it's a bit plain but after all that Canberra smoke I thought the large window and the green view would be just the room for you.

 Every room has an en suite and this is perfect.  There is a seat in the shower, my dream. I love all the different showerheads and there is a bath but in mine that will be another seat. It's bad enough now drying my feet without falling a over t so if your preference is for a bath for reading a book or looking out the window, no seat. I rather like the soft colour, not cold (floor is heated) but warm.

A bedroom for Beth.  No chandelier, I sobbed at that but your wish was for none. You didn't mention carpet so wooden floorboards it is. I like lush carpet, warm on the feet in winter but carpet goes with chandelier and you didn't want one. Carpet can be installed the day before you arrive, just state your preference.

I wish my bedroom looked like this at the moment but like the rest of the house it's more like landfill. Now I must go and find where I put River's teal bedroom.  Such a big house, a bit like the Tardis, looks small on the outside but huge inside which is how I managed to lose a bedroom.

Pink and the air is blue.

Now River you could whip this up in an afternoon in all those bright colours to match your decor.
It doesn't look like it's rigged to actually light up a room but as a statement, it makes one.

Christmas dinner at the Home, what can I say about it......lots......

1. The turkey was well cooked. My mother thought it was pork, the lady next to her thought it was lamb. 
2. A simple onion flavoured gravy and lord knows there are plenty of liquid gravies out there that don't need work just a zap in the microwave.
3. Great long strips of undercooked sauteed onion slapped on top of the meal in a minute amount of liquid does not substitute for gravy, proper gravy. Pardon me, but this is where I step up to my soapbox. These are old people, they don't handle onions very well, small diced, well cooked onions in a lot of sauce, maybe. Not long thick bits of onion they can choke on.
4. An entree is some food that is put on a plate in front of you to eat. It is not thick slices of ham surrounded by tiny (rockhard) gherkins and cocktail onions both of which old people can choke on. That is if they could get to them. Put in the middle of the table secure under cling wrap with no serving tongs made it damn hard unless like Inspector Gadget someone had hidden extendable arms. Eventually the serving boy from the kitchen remember to remove the wrap but still didn't put out tongs. Nobody touched it except  me and I had to use my dessert spoon. 
5. What is the point of writing a menu in flowery language then rolling it up and tying it when most of the residents can't untie anything. Some asked if it was part of the meal.
6. None of the relatives were asked if they would like a glass of wine. I had two bottle of vodka lime and bitters, lucky me. The only drink on the table, in the middle where no-one could reach it, was a jug of ice water. No cordial, no lemonade, no pretty Christmas cups.
7. When the menu says, pudding with custard, trifle and pavlova, I expect them all to appear. The pavlova disappeared into the fridge and wasn't seen again until yesterday when I arrived at the Home to find a piece waiting for me. Now I'm certain the rooms are bugged considering how I went on about it.
8. No coffee was served and no-one was asked if they wanted it.
9. Coffee would have helped the dry crumbly mince pies go down. Crumbs choke old people. What was wrong with thinking ahead and buying the pies with the lattice tops, not so many crumbs and a smaller size.
10. No table cloths because an activities supervisor wasn't rostered on to make sure everything was Christmasy. Actually one was but she was told very rudely, not to bother coming in. She snuck in later to see everybody and caught me in full flight. Them-in-charge too cheap to pay her double time for the day. She would have made a big difference to the atmosphere and made sure all the residents knew what was what.

The idea of a newsletter is to put news in it. That includes a form letting the staff know who is being taken out for the day so that 10 people don't suddenly need to be showered when relatives turn up and ask if they're ready. Next year (I can't believe I said that) I will be having lunch with mum in her room and I'll bring the food with me. Was it worth the $18 I had to pay? Bloody hell NO. And my shit sister did not give me a present again, bitch. I might have bingo wings but she's starting to get turkey neck bwahahahhaha!

'Tis the season......

I thought I must try and get into the Christmas spirit despite wanting to shove the family up the chimney and brick it so I went looking for trees and I found my ideal trees and I want both, now.

 This 20 ft. tree belonging to the Soo Kee Jewellery store was decorated with 3762 beads made from crystal, 500 lights and featured diamonds totalling 913 carats!
Of course, I would want some cheap tat, it was valued at US $1.55 million back in 2007 and had a final weight of just over 3000kg. It's okay though I have a concrete floor and it holds up even with me dancing.  20 feet, a tiny bit over the top for a small Oz brick veneer, I'll take one in a 6 foot version but I want all the diamonds.

 

I could really go for this little tree.
18 Carat solid gold was used by Steve Quick when he created this Christmas tree in 2008.
He then gilded the lily, you might say by sprinkling  200 carats of diamonds to look like snow, before topping it with a 4.52 carat stone set in platinum and shaped like a star. 

 Oh, it's just me isn't it? 

Beware the witches and boggarts.

Hey blogmates, it's ghouly night!

Miss O'Dyne

and

your very own Witchy

will be out trick or treating and we like

treats so we'll be driving this

because we like a lot of treats.

Stock up peoples

or the truck gets you.

HAPPY SAMHAIN

ALL HALLOWS EVE

AND LIGHT OUR FIRE

It's a jungle out there but inside I have a garden.

Just pop round the back of the shack. The front's not much, all the action is around the corner.

Mind the climbing rose over the abour and across the pergola, heading for the roof.

Ignore the cat. If you pat its stomach the drama queen will follow you all day.

There's nothing to compare with the scent of red roses in bloom except perhaps Lavender.

I have Terrariums hanging from the shady trees. All very Victorian but no trouble.

Lovely lilac lobelia spreading everywhere and crushing the weeds. I do hate weeding.

Here comes the dog with its bone. He's heading for the Marigold patch. I don't know why he bothers he never finds the bones again. I suppose it's a dog thing.

Don't they look shiny and happy until he lands right in the middle of them.

Why are the chickens hanging off the rotary line? You may well ask and I'll tell you, it's a short cut over the chickenwire to the strawberry patch. Whoever said cluckers were dumb.

Fat and delicious, just ripe for the picking. And shaded by the big tree we're treading softly by.

It's a lovely tree but we don't want to wake the boys before nightfall. They get crabby.

They look a bit dopey in daylight but I haven't had a rat or snake problem for yonks.

And the flitter of dragonflies means we're coming to the fish pond. No pristine water for this garden, a bit of slime and lots of strange life.

Water beetles and swamp flowers galore. I never wonder about what has hatched, I'd rather not know.

I can never tell whether they are funny frogs or salamanders so I just refer to them as wobegongs. They like the slimy end of the pond to hide eggs.

Plenty of bullrushes to hide the fish. I have no idea what they're called, survivors, if they live in my pond.

More fish, more bullrushes, no Moses.

Coming right along now, mind the slime and muck and the wobegongs and take a look at the wonderful fungi.

Nature's brilliant and great fun if you poke the puffy bits with a stick. Probably poisonous.

And the best part of the garden is here. Never mind those poncy 'bottom of the garden fairies', they packed up and left when the dragon arrived. He sort of dropped in one day, landed on his head and decided to stay. Keeps the damned chickens in line.

And there you have it, my garden.

Feel free to visit any time.

Still glassing

Fashion designer Donna Karan is giving luxury consumers a version of her Golden Delicious fragrance, at a price, a wow price.

The perfume which sells $42 can now be had in a million dollar wrapping – the most expensive perfume bottle created to date.

DKNY and designer Martin Katz worked together to create the million-dollar perfume bottle, which is carved from a combination of 14 karat yellow gold and white gold. The bottle is embellished with nearly 3,000 gemstones – including 15 pink diamonds, 4 rose cut diamonds, a 4.03-carat pear-shaped diamond; a 3.07-carat ruby and a 7.18-carat oval shaped cabochon sapphire from Sri Lanka. The precious stones are set in the gold apple-shaped flacon in the shape of the New York skyline.

All net proceeds from the seven-figure bottles of Golden Delicious will be donated to the Action Against Hunger charity. Before being sold, the million-dollar bottle of Golden Delicious will go on exhibit around the world.

I still don't like her fashion clothes.

One of those dreams

It was one of those dreams that linger longer than usual probably because I was woken up in the middle of it by the furball wanting its too early breakfast.
I had complained so much about dress designers to everyone who would listen that one of the Paris designers had chosen me to end his show wearing 'The Wedding Dress'. No I didn't look like bones up there or bones down there, it was me in all my wall to wall flab. The dress was gorgeous, heavily beaded V neck, wide crinoline type skirt with train, miles of petticoats and heels, me, wearing heels. My flowers were white roses and I didn't so much as parade down the cat walk as glide. As I reached the end and had to turn, I remember thinking, here it is, where I go over the side and kill half the audience but no, I turned with grace, using my feet to flick the train behind me and continued to glide to tumultuous applause. I didn't have a veil, just a sparkly headdressy thing. Thanks to the cat, I didn't get to see myself as the next supermodel plus plus size but the dress was a beauty.

So the dream started me thinking (at that time of the morning, Great Goddess) about why dress designers don't design for lardarses. It's because they can't. Miss Skinny Pink in Satin is flat all the way around, up and down, no tits, no bum. Designers cannot cope with lumps. Fat ladies have lumps. They have lumps in strange places, they have one up/one down boobs. Fat stomachs tend to move as one glides (yes, we glide, shuttup) legs can be thinnish to tree trunks.

So you see with all their fabulous designs that they charge squillions for, they've not got the talent to dress the most Rubenesque of real women.

I dream of the day, that one will rise above this tryanny of skinny and have a show of such largeness, such women of curves to rival an alpine road and all in the most gorgeous of frocks to outshine the stick insects into extinction.

I could really kill the cat.

TOO MUCH CRYING, NOT ENOUGH DROOLING

Noice isn't he? Now he's what I call heavy duty therapy.

Jayne, he has a drop of water on his jaw, you might like to come over and use that whole towell to wipe it off. I'll just stand and watch.

Kath, would you like to give a review of a good melting chocolate? I wouldn't want to drip any nasty compound stuff on him.

Andrew, you may look but not touch, the girls and I don't like fingerprints on our sweets.

THERAPY - BREATHE - DROOL- BREATHE AND REPEAT

Don't those legs go up a long way.

All the way up to that lovely chest.

Nice shorts, I love to unwrap my presents.

Yep, you can definitely bathe him in rose

water and drag him to my tent

in chains at midnight.

WHEN THERAPY IS GOOD

Therapy is good when he is the therapy.

Just look at those green eyes.

I could dive off his nose and drown in those eyes.

If that's a whistle around his neck,

he only has to blow,

he knows how to blow,

just puts his lips together.

HERO OF MARS

Edgar Rice Burroughs' hero of Mars, John Carter is finally going to be filmed.
These books were my introduction to Science Fiction and I loved them so I'll be in line for the movie.


Taylor Kitsch, who played Gambit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been signed for Carter and Lynn Collins has been signed for the part of the Martian princess Dejah Thoris. Production is due to start in November and the film released in 2012. It could be a success, no Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. I hope they use CGI's wisely.


Burroughs created John Carter in 1911 and the first book was published in 1917. After being mysteriously transported to Mars, where he finds various creatures and people, rescues Princess Dejah Thoris from the Green Martians and helps to save the planet from destruction. The Martians are a varied lot especially colour wise, red, green, yellow, white and black. And they like their world to be called Barsoom, not Mars.

FOR POTTER FANS

This is 'Shell Cottage' from the set of 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows'. I think this is what I love about the films, how the setmakers (?) take words and make them into visions. I want it.

JEWELLS OR CAKE OR JEWELLS OR CAKE, CHOICES CHOICES CHOICES

I don't know how Antoine managed to stay hidden at the back of the pastry window but that's the way I look when I see a shop full of goodies. I also get that look when I'm contemplating the fridge door, also covered in goodies. Thanks to Annie O'Dyne for the link.

CONTINUING THE THEME OF THE EVENING

Sometimes two loves come together in a perfect package (not the tart, the headdress).

This is the Snow Queen Tiara by Lorenz Baumer, a finalist in the 2004 Bombay Sapphire Prize.

This is awarded by the Bombay Sapphire Foundation to promote outstanding artists, designers and architects working with glass.

I should be in the running, I work very well with a glass of Bombay in my hand.

I want that tiara, really really want that tiara.

ON A HOT NIGHT

One's thoughts are easily turned to the delights of Bombay and tonic over ice especially if it comes out of this luscious container, photos of which I have emailed to Miss O'Dyne lounging on the patio at Chez Copperwitch.


This is the Revelation Bottle designed by Rashid Karim, fashioned by crystal maker Baccarat and bejewelled by Garrad's.

The top of the bottle is set with sapphires and diamonds. The 10 principal hand-cut facets represent the 10 ingredients that make this gin soooo special. It's a snip at $200,000 a bottle.

It's the first of a five piece collection. While it's pricey, a portion of the profits go to a children's charity that performs cleft operations in third world countries.