Friday, October 12, 2018
My gravity is failing
Before I get to the bad bits, feast your eyes on my great granddaughter who's having a quick taste of her birthday cake.
I seem to have developed the habit of falling over at least once a month. I believe my gravity is failing or should that be getting stronger. The stupid thing is that I don't just fall, I fall insanely stupidly. And to make it worse the paramedic who looks the size of my left leg says she was here last year to pick me up off the floor.
The last fall really hurt since I managed to do a twist mid-air and land on my right leg/knee replacement.
This didn't hurt as much since I was already close to the ground but the way I ended up was strictly Marx Bros. in style. I have an extension that sits on top of the toilet seat for the crunched up knee replacements. I also have a handle on the wall and as I reached for the handle, the seat twizzled and I missed the handle completely. I hit the floor, bum first, right leg bent and jammed beside the toilet and wall, bum jammed in the corner of the door frame and left leg ended up in the next door bathroom. Now that's two separate rooms here and thank goodness the toilet door opens outwards.
Twenty minutes to disentangle myself from toilet and get to the stage where both legs were facing the same direction. Crawl to the phone but don't ring 000 just yet, there's the crawl to the front door to open it and grab something warm on the way. Do the ringing bit, explain the fat lady has sung her way to the floor and can't get up. Everything else is fine, nothing broken, I'm warm, I can wait.
I really hate the fact that I might be using an ambulance that someone really needs but now they have a team just for falls. Up goes the cushion and I'm standing and walking to my chair. I get a lecture on my legs about the fluid which could go to my lungs and heart, well jes tart, it's not like I started out to make elephant legs and I can walk. She then goes into shock at the 240/110
blood pressure. Of course I know it's stroke material but I was more worried about the other end which was building up explosively so she decided to wait a few minutes and do it on the other arm. They do a heart test which shows a perfect beat so the blood pressure again, it's down 20 but she wants me to go to hospital for tests for stroke. I told her if my mother can't give me a stroke then nothing will. She rings clinician (?) who wants hospital but goes for doctor's appointment in two hours.
I'm sure Doc is writing a book about how idiots fall. Says my blood pressure has gone right down and was pleased that blood sugar was only 12 when they stabbed my finger which they couldn't stop bleeding. It's always the way, I either can't get blood or bleed to death. I was pleased to get home and dry toast and tea was all I could get down. Staggered off to bed with precious cat and rang mother to see if I could frighten her to death, almost but she's bloody tough.
So it's now 4 days and my toe is not broken just bruised from where I jammed it in the toilet brush.
So the fat lady not only sang but managed the splits, pretty good for my age.