My brain is loose, running wild somewhere pleasant

Two days at the Home is my maximum tolerance for oldies and I made it three this week.

*Smacks face hard and promises not to do it again*

So my brain has gone away to find its happy place, the one where chocolate has no calories, booze doesn't give hangovers and shortbread and hot cups of tea magically appear beside the bed in the morning.  I think it also has pink clouds with silver linings.

I have to write up the minutes of the Relatives and Residents meeting and call VicRoad on their behalf.  We tried the Local Council whose offices are on the corner of the same street to get them to do something about the speeding cars, a slow down sign would have done but they told us that it was up to VicRoad.  They're up for election in November so you would have thought they might have made an official call for us, no, too busy making election promises.

So, on to the movie meme, part the four of.

4.  Name the best movie title.

Hard, really hard. Oh yeah, Die Hard, because Bruce Willis didn't and everybody else did. My sister refuses to watch these films because they're violent, she prefers cerebral films where the violence is psychological.  The 'Die Hard' franchise is fantasy violence, no-one could take that much and still live. I loved Die Hard 4.0, nobody jumps onto a jet that's crashing and jumps off again but it seems to be the chemistry between the actors in these films that make them enjoyable to me. I just love Justin Long.

5.  Describe the worst performance by a child actor that you've ever seen.

Difficult. The Plastic Mancunian went for the kid who played Anakin Skywalker and I have to agree he was an annoying little twit.  But I'm going for an adult who acts like a child in every film I've seen him in, Adam Sandler.  Can't stand him but he is slightly below Jerry Lewis in my loathe ratings.

6.  Who gets your vote for the most tragic movie monster.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  I know I usually refer to my ex as him but only because he looks like it.  Poor Creature, all he wanted was the blonde tart to like him and all she could do was scream.  I can't remember the ending but I think he was spear-gunned but not killed because they made a sequel.  Honestly the films we watched at the Saturday arvo sessions would not get a rating now. 

Three days into daylight savings, meh

I hate daylight savings. It takes me weeks to acclimatise and I'm still finding clocks I haven't changed yet. Anyway how can we save any daylight when I've hardly seen the sun and now they're forecasting rain, thunder, cold and storms. I blame politicians. Was Mr. Abbott standing in a drain at the weekend, when he was standing next to our Ted? Surely he can't be that short but he did look as though he only came up to Ted's navel.

I am now going to have a complain, besides the complain I already had and the one after this.

Southland, nice shopping centre, bloody awful toilets.  Doc Marvin said not to take the diuretic pills if I was going out, brilliant, the effects last two days.  So, should have used the wheelchair toilet on level 3, I'm allowed I have scars to prove my knees aren't co-operative.  Second level and I really know I'm not going to make it back up the escalator.  I know I've put on weight but someone has also zapped the size of toilets down from human to small primate. By the time I hang shopping bags and my bag on the hook on the back of the door after I managed to shave off 3 kgs getting it shut, get my knickers down after tucking dress under chin, backing up  to the miniscule dunny, I was in trouble.  Not only did I forget to up the seat but I didn't back up far enough.  Noise, there's a noise.  Great bladder control now as I hold the horses!  Back up a bit more, release, relief.  Now get out the anti-septic wipes and wipe out the shoe, the foot, the leg, the seat, the floor and 20 minutes later, shave off another 3 kgs as I drag myself out the door.

I would complain to the management but everyone knows that fat people are killing the earth so why worry if one pees in their shoe.  Skinny mongrels.

Can I haz another complain?

Mother, complain.  Forgetting to ask for her pain control again. She is on enough to knock out Black Cavier but any breakthrough pain means she needs extra for a few days. She's been in pain since last Wednesday. I checked on Saturday and she wasn't in the book for extra pills. So still on normal daylight I get up on a Monday morning to go down there. I'm not ready for the Home on Monday, I go Tuesday and I certainly wasn't ready for the sight of Annie Joyce with stitches, black eye and busted knee and her mouth shut for a change. I swear that woman's voice would cut ice. She fell out of bed Sunday night, bled everywhere and got carted off to hospital. Yes, sorry, poor old dear, I'm devastated. My mother says to be nice, I'll be old one day. Hell, woman haven't you noticed, I am older and getter older by the minute.

Ignoring moans from the other side of the room, I get out my illegal white cheesymite roll from Bakers Delight and a bottle Nestea (hope they're reading this I could do with a case) take one yummy bite  when Annie Joyce decides to upchuck. No one has put her bell within reach, Ma's bell is not within reach so I had to belt down the hall and grab a nurse.  Really took the shine off the cheesymite roll but I soldiered on.  Second gallop down the hall was for her other end. Nurse made that in good time.

Thank you to the spammer who offered to up my comments to 4000 a day. You're a real gem.

Thanks to the fourth cold caller about my telephone discount yesterday. I hope your hearing comes back soon.

Thank you to Miss O'Dyne for her suggestion that I turn my experiences into a TV show. It's a good idea, I'd probably piss myself laughing reliving it all.

Meme, part three

Mother asked me today if I was going to have Christmas dinner with her.  Oh crap, it's that close to bloody Christmas.  I feel like opening a vein.

Now on to the meme.

Question 3.  Name your favourite femme fatale.

There wasn't a question about a favourite villain so I'm going with Glen Close as Cruella DeVille.

101 Dalmatians and 102 Dalmatians, she owned those two films.  Manic and comic, nobody else could have been better.  She didn't even have to open her mouth to make me laugh, the face was enough.

The bunny boiler was good but the puppy stealer was better.

If I'm lucky I can string this meme out until Christmas.

October, Halloween, I haven't made a costume.  Anyone got any dalmatians for sale?

Movie Meme - Question two

Question two - What classic film would you nominate for a remake?

That would be none.  

Casablanca without Bogey and Bergman

Wizard of Oz without Judy

Gone with the Wind without Viv Leigh

Arsenic and Old Lace without Cary Grant

All about Eve without Bette Davis.

Just a few off the top of my head that I can think off that just wouldn't have the same chemistry without the stars, wardrobe, scenery and co-stars.

A recent re-make although not a classic is a point in question.

"Clash of the Titans", vintage l981.  Watched this with the boys in the comfortable old Balwyn Cinema and it wasn't a great story but it was a pretty movie to watch. Stars Harry Hamlin and Judy Bowker were both pretty even the flying horse was pretty.  The Kraken wasn't but this was before CGI and we watched what we got.  The scenery and the wardrobe of the rest of the cast was beautiful, colour was spectacular, Ursula Andress glowing but then she was playing off set with the pretty Harry.  I enjoyed all of it.

Not so much the remake with Sam Worthington whose Aussie accent could have decapitated the Gorgon with a word not a sword.  Okay so the world back then probably was grey, dirty and gritty but trying to watch it was like watching a Grand Final through a snow/hail/rain/thunderstorm.  It had less of a story than version 1, more gore, more hairy men and CGI monsters though.  The female 'sacrifice du jour' I can't even picture, but Judy Bowker I still remember from version 1.  Fortunately I didn't pay out money to see this but watched it on TV and I doubt it would have been any better on a large screen.  I didn't mind Sam in Terminator Salvation but couldn't have someone done something with his strine in this film.

For the last word on remakes, George Lukas regrets playing around with the first StarWars film and putting in more CGI characters just because he could, it added nothing and annoyed us, the devoted fans of the original.

It's a pigeon!

Isn't he a pretty bird? 

Elephant's Child was right on the money with her identification of him as a Common Bronzewing Pigeon.  I was lucky to see the brilliant flash on the wings as the sun was just at the right angle.  I wouldn't have been close enough to photograph him as they fly off very quickly if disturbed not like the other freeloaders around here.  I hope he comes back as I've never seen one like this before under the buffet tree in my backyard.

Movie Meme

This was a good meme put out by The Plastic Mancunian and I've been trying to fill it all out for a week so I thought maybe one question at a time.
1. What is your all time favourite movie costume?

All through the first StarWars movie Princess Leia  was head to toe covered by fabric and who could forget those coffee scroll head braids. I loved the movie then and still watch it now.
We couldn't wait for the next episode to hit the big screen and when the Princess came out from all those layers and you could practically hear the schoolboys drooling in the theatre.

The  outfit might have been skimpy but she managed to strangle Jabba the Hut with a chain and not show any more than she was showing here.  I think this part of the 3rd film is my favourite  before we have to put up with the Ewoks.
It was a great costume and made a statement the Princess lived up to. 

1500 and still going.

Not quite up to Andrew's prolific output but 1500 posts in 7 years isn't bad. And I'm back at IE because FireFox was being very annoying, it's faster than IE but annoying. Firefox also wouldn't let me comment on some blogs including Highriser with his fancy new comment format.  Four times my comment disappeared into cyberspace so I gave up.  The same happens at Miss O'Dyne's.

Now for all my birdie watchers I need a bird identified.  By the time I managed to grab the camera he was gone so here's a wonky description.
Larger than a dove but the same colouring except from the beak to the eyes, the feathers were a cream colour.  Then he turned around and flashed a brilliant irridescent orange along the wing feathers and that only happened when the sun shone on the feathers otherwise, dull greyish. He was scoffing down the fruitbread I'd just put out and there were no other birds around so one of a kind in my yard.

I have lost some weight and Doc Marvin has given me 6 to 12 months to drop some more before we start thinking of more drastic measures.  Of course, given the size of me, 2kgs just made me look to see if a toe had dropped off but I'll take anything at this stage.  Blood pressure was down, I can't imagine why, but now my elephant legs are getting a dose of diuretics.  Don't take these without knowing where every toilet is located and heaven help me if a bus goes over a bump. 
I did well yesterday with the walking but I paid for it last night. Life lesson no. 359, don't walk far in shoes you haven't walked in since last summer when the feet weren't quite as swollen.  My mission now is to get back to the weight I was two years ago, middle 130's.

Doc Marvin made notes when I told him I had an eating disorder.  He'd never heard of food being used as anger management but then he's never been locked up with my mother or had a 6 week guest stay for two years.

Shut up Mr. Myagi!

It was a somewhat hectic week. I haven't caught up with blogs or even looked at mine.

Monday the big crusher truck came down the street and picked up all the leftovers and crushed them. Congrats to us, the scavengers, for our recycling efforts and up the Council for calling us thieves and threatening to land us with big fines.  Monday was also the day I ran out of arthritis pills, no problem I'll get them tomorrow on the way to see mother but I forgot. Big mistake.

Tuesday night the pain really ramped up, no problem I can hold out until Thursday when I go shopping.  No you can't says the body and before you can yell militant protest, the joints did.  Left hand was okay but right hand felt as if I'd gone 5 rounds with Mike Tyson. I worked out that if I taped it then I'd remember not to bend the knuckles and it wouldn't hurt as much and it didn't.  I also couldn't hold a pen, use the keyboard, get lids off anything or get pills out of stupid packaging.  I make a mental note to not have op for carpal tunnel which this pain isn't, it's arthritis pain but carpal tunnel op probably needs the hand being taped up.

Wednesday is horrible day, I don't get dressed not even to take the garbage bin out but sit and enjoy a book I've been promising myself to read after housework.  Can't do housework when every thing is hurting, much better to rest and read.  Until phone call from No. 1 granddaughter  to inform me that she will be arriving on Thursday morning from Brisbane and is it okay to visit.  Need she ask?  And then I start with the house tidying, not housework which is beyond me but moving boxes etc to where I had mentally moved them when sitting and reading.  Damn me but just look at that, the hall entrance is clear for the first time in two years, just don't look down the hallway.  I can get to the desk to dust which doesn't happen. Lounge needs brooming before a vac, chairs cleared for people to sit down and if I don't move anything perhaps no-one will notice the dust.  Hang up clothes, put away clean washing, dirty washing to the laundry and shut door.  Dishes? What dishes, I see no dishes, shut door.  The hand vac will get up the big pieces if I don't get time to get out the big guy.  Wouldn't you know it, the hand vac is fritzed. Doesn't anything last these days? Hmm, 20 years of solid duty will take its toll so I use a brush and dustpan but straightening up brings a protest from the spine, knees and one foot.  I decide that collapsing in a chair is good and gives the rest of the body time to have a protest as well.  

Thursday morning, I shower and clean the toilet and bathroom and beautify myself for gorgeous granddaughter.  Her other grandparents have picked her up from the airport and we all head for Southland where she will take the car. I must say her grandfather was fascinated by the hallway of forgotten things.  I had squeezed myself into the back seat of the teeny car and now had to get out, one foot first then me then other foot. Why don't back doors open right out.  It was like unfolding a protein under a microscope and I felt the side muscle go.  I don't care I'm with granddaughter I haven't seen for two years and I'm about to share my precious time with mother and sister.  That blacked out area is my sister who threatened to sue if I published her on the web.  Back in tiny car, out of tiny car for lunch, back in tiny car for home and by this time I have no knees just two bones worth of pain.  It was worth every broken piece of me. And it's spooky driving with someone you remember changing nappies on.


Friday I shopped for pain pills and I took them in the middle of the pharmacy.  I took anti spasm muscle pills in the middle of Safeway after I asked a stranger to crack the top of the water bottle.
Going home I ran into a herd of teenagers in full voice.  2pm and they were waiting to see Kim Kardashion at 4pm so I can't imagine what the noise would have been like then.  It pissed me off mightily that she was making a personal appearance to flog her weight loss product to teenagers. I hope her make-up melted.  By midnight the pain was gone, lovely little pills and I could untape my hand.

Saturday, mother again until her roomies came back and started fighting.  I walked to the taxi rank in lovely sunshine and no pain.  More visitors. BOH, little mother and great nephew.  They'd been to see mother and called in on his mother and a flying visit to me.  The little one was having a bit of wind so I threw him over my shoulder and began to rub his back and he went out like a light and was still asleep when they put him in the car seat. His parents were so astonished that he went to sleep they both took photos.  As for me, I got to see the back of his head and one little hand he put around my neck. That's one good reason for having a well padded balcony.
Now it's Sunday and it's quiet, very quiet and it's the Equinox, early to bed for me.

 

I COULDN'T DO IT!

The poor little thing with his one ear, thanks to SE Water workers, so pathetic that I just couldn't bring myself to chuck him on the pile.        

And his mates kind of nestled up to him when I put them there for the photo.  I'll give them a bit of a paint job with the rest of the gnomes and they can continue to guard the water meter with the not so bad goanna on a log.

Yes, I'm sentimental and soft as marshmallow but those little almost gone eyes still looked at me.

Maybe I could paint a pirate patch where his ear used to be.

On the good side, I grabbed a role of purple synthetic leather from herontheotherside whose husband was an upholsterer and only bought really expensive materials.  It's going to make great shoulder bags for the next 20 years.

My feet, my knees, down but not out

Next door's pile of hard rubbish just found a new home.  I spotted it as I was getting in the taxi yesterday and if it had been there when I collected the mail, I'd have brought it in then.  So off I went resigned to missing it because I wouldn't be home until late and the curb crawlers were already out in force.  But no, I win, still there when I arrived home in the dark.  Thank goodness they'd taken the legs off because I doubt I'd have been able to carry it. I dragged it as quietly as I could up the footpath and down the drive then went back for the legs, momentary panic as I noticed only two but they were shoved inside each other.  Then the chairs, no superwoman you can't carry 6 chairs at once without a heart attack, I had trouble carry two so it was one by one.

Surprisingly heavy those chairs and all this done in the dark.  Mind you I'm going to have words with himnextdoor. He knows I get first dibs on anything good like this but shewhomustbeobeyed must have put them out. 

So this afternoon when I came back from a very long walk and I hate people who tell me to burn through the pain, it just gets you more pain.  I had to buy a new purse so I walked to  the Tosca outlet in Warrigal Road (bite me Andrew) lunched at Nando's and walked home.  Was it worth the pain, yes, to buy a purse on special down from $89.95 to $49.95 and one where the cards actually fit in the spaces. I always buy the same type of purse so I know at a glance that I haven't misplaced the important cards.  I really would have loved the tiger skin patent leather but it wasn't on special and it had a clip opening part for coins, painful to open with hurty fingers.

I didn't take the shopping trolley knowing I would be walking through piles of hard rubbish just dying for a good home and walked back the long way round for the same reason, no temptation.  Damn homeowners who let hedges grow over their brick fences, only one place for a fat bum to take a load off the knees.

I was going to keep the old patio table with the big hole in the middle where the screaming north wind upended the shade brolley and crashed it down.  The cat was forever rolling over the table and going through the middle.  I thought it might be okay at the back for putting my tomato plants on but why make it easy the birds and possums to get at them so it's out for collection. I did keep the green chairs, those cream ones looked a bit on the snug side and the green ones are so comfortable.  And if that upturned bed base hadn't been on a busy road I'd have nicked the six wheels off that.  That was my grandfather's motto, "never throw out the wheels".  A lesson I could never get through to the BOH, who hasn't turned up to put all the small car parts out. I'll probably end up painting them to look like garden gnomes.  I just remembered I haven't put out the one earred concrete pig. I feel bad about doing that, he's been here so long but he looks so pathetic but he'll have company since the eyes have washed off the concrete dogs and they belonged to the ex anyway.  Very chichi, not like my flock of concrete ducks.  Apparently he has a garden full of concrete 'things' at his new place.  The horror, the horror.

Show-off males, in every species.

A male Australian Peacock Spider expands its colourful fan and throws up a pair of legs to impress a nearby female.

This was taken by Jurgen Otto of New South Wales and is a finalist in the Animal Behaviour category of the ANZANG Nature photography contest.

Visit  here to see more fantastic photos in the competition.

Elephant's Child and River should be taking notes for next year's competition.

Australia the beautiful

 Above the beauty of the ancient domes of the Bungle Bungle Range in Western Australia is our Milky Way which was formed over a10 billion years ago.  These domes appear as huge layered beehives and are made of sandstones and conglomerates deposited over 350 million years ago and were shown on the ABC programme on the different ages of the land of Australia. I never get tired of seeing the beauty of the Milky Way's central band shown arching from horizon to horizon and I have a great collection of images. This photo was taken from the dark skies of Purnululu National Park about two months ago by Mike Salway. I have it set as desktop wallpaper and it's just breathtaking.

The Home has students from the various Secondary colleges around Mentone come in as part of their community service and I was surprised to be asked by one if I believed God made the Earth in 6 days and was only 6000 years old. I gave my stock reply, "and on the 7th day he gave us religion and stuffed the whole lot up". But I did go on and ask her how she could reconcile scientific fact, like the Bungle Bungles, with an age of 6000 years. She said she didn't really believe that but looked a bit uncertain. Then to totally confuse the issue, she asked if I thought the moon landings were real.  I'll leave out the part where she looked stunned that I was around to watch it on tv.  These modern children are really light years ahead of the history of the 20th Century.  She thought it could all have been done in front of a 'green screen' like StarWars and Harry Potter with the astronauts hopping around and the moon put in later.  We didn't have 'green screen' in the late sixties and that brought more questions from them and answers from me.

  

They don't know what it's like without the internet, mobile phones and can't even imagine the world without them. Mother was really gone by this time, eyes glazed over and questions going straight through to the keeper.  It's all very well to have them come in to ask questions of the residents about their lives but it's hard when the residents have all but left the building which is why they end up with me.  Mind you mother wasn't completely away with the fairies because she told me off for saying Christianity was a cult in Roman times, a mistake really because then I had to explain why it was a cult. After that I wasn't game to ask if they knew what a synchrotron was.  

This group ends their visits on Friday  and I have to break in a new mob next term.

Spring sun

It's spring, damn awful spring so far what with the freezing and the wild winds but today was sunshine from the get go. 

The line is full of laundry.

The sewing room is half vac'd.

The boxes are in place.

The bed has been changed.

The bedside table drawer is neat with everything in place. That's everything I took out and re-arranged before Christmas and couldn't find a thing ever after. All back where it should be now.

The books are stacked neatly.

The sewing machine is ready to go.

Three bags out by the gate for collection.

I even dusted a shelf.

And it's only the tenth day of spring.

Thank the goddess we'll be back to crummy weather by Thursday otherwise I could burn out and give it all up.

Don't ask about washing the dishes.  When the plastic container I'm currently using falls apart I'm sure I'll get around to the dishes.

Stormy weather

Wow, things were a little hairy around these parts last night.  In fact when I had a late shower I kept the big torch on in the bathroom just in case the lights blew.  That's happened to me before and it's very Alfred Hitchcock to be in the shower in the pitch dark.

The lights flickered a couple of times, the glass in the front windows rattled and I heard the patio chairs heading for the back fence. Bedtime saw me at the ready with the mobile phone, small torch and large in case of emergency.  Not that the tree would hit the house but it would bring down every wire across the road.

And the insurance hadn't been fixed up but my lovely broker had a cover note on the house until I signed the papers.  He ended up getting a good deal for me and next year we'll combine house and contents with the same company.  So Westpac Insurance just lost a customer for being greedy and whacking an extra $20 a month on my premium. And fortunately the tree is still standing.

It has been nearly a week since I blogged after the traumatic full moon Friday at the home. I still can't blog about it. Miss O'Dyne was the recepient of the hysterical email when I finally got home. Don't ever diss the full moon effect on the minds of the not-quite-with-it residents.

My mind has been in some disarray with depression peering at me from around corners just waiting to pounce so I've been not in the mood to keep going with the housecleaning.  I twisted my spine wrangling a wheelchair last Friday and my left leg looks like I've stolen it from some wandering elephant. And it has not been the ideal weather for icepacks every two hours.  The carpal tunnel test didn't take long but I haven't bothered finding out how bad it is.  It's not been the weather for hospital news either.  Bits of me aren't working well at all. I've given up cappuccino and muffin treats, I'm still off chocolate and shopping was such a chore today that I completely missed the biscuit aisle.  And stupid me bought food I'll actually have to cook.  

Also depressing is the fact that Mrs R thinks we should all work for $2 an hour, bless her gold tipped miserly heart.  I wonder if anyone told the poor workers who've already been shot out of Darryl Lea's vacant shop at Southland.  I mean I was hoping they would have a closing down sale of goodies but shop boarded up and all gone. The only thing I really looked forward to at Christmas was their box of candies and nougat. No more soft licorice either.  It's a sad world when the sweetie shops close.  

I haz an egzorshon

His clothes are finally all packed then I looked down and there's no way I'm packing up his shoes.
So just in case you thought I was kidding about the hall way, here's proof.  Just beyond that hatbox which is balanced on a box of something, there is a door.  Once upon a time I could walk through here to the kitchen.
This afternoon I managed to store the curtain rod behind the sofa bed and put a couple of rolls of material in a corner until I remembered I hadn't cleaned the carpet yet.  But I do have half a sewing room and now that his clothes are packed I can use the bookcase in there for some of the stuff that's down here.
The ladder can go in the laundry and the ladder in the laundry can go in the carport.  The books will have to wait for a while.  These bookcases are Ikea, useless for books of any great weight so I have to transfer the novels from the good bookcase in the study to here and transport the weighty tomes back there.
So far I have not got one perfect side to this Rubik's Cube of a clean up.
And to top off the day, I dropped an egg on the kitchen floor.
And tomorrow is mother day.
And coffee and cake day.

Toil, I still toil.

 Wondering where I've been?  In this cupboard, specifically the shelf containing fabric and believe me there's twice as much in there than there was. The rest is lace, expensive lace that is almost unobtainable now. The horrible fact is that at some stage it all has to come out or I get 4 huge blokes to move the whole cupboard to the middle of the room and back again after the wallpaper has been striped off and the wall painted. It's something I don't have to worry about just yet as the BOH and the little mother will take at least a year to organize themselves a place to live so I continue to co-exist with all his clothes and furniture.

The view from my chair. Books, slippers, empty boxes back from mother, lots of things back from mother and washing on the chair. I've been too busy folding up his clothes and packing them away to  fold mine up. Don't look at the curtain, the long and short of it. The cat did a wonderful job of shredding when it moved in and I have a beautiful pale ivory voile to replace this pathetic lot and it didn't have a hem or heading. No matter thinks I, it's only straight sewing.  I bought it two years ago, notice that, two years ago and I haven't been able to get to a machine since. I even lost the bag containing the curtain fabric but it's now been found and I'll get to it soon, maybe before Christmas, maybe. The one thing you won't notice is the floor full of DVDs, they're packed away at long last and now just the books to stack neatly. It would be nice to put them in the bookcase but that's down the hall past the stepladder, more  books, material in 6 huge plastic boxes on wheels, wooden curtain rod, and videos. The TV's still working well considering 'hernextdoor' told her husband to put it on the nature strip for junk but it wandered in to my house where it was welcomed with open arms.

 

Behind my chair, the dining table. It's under there believe me and see that small black area in front, that's where I work on my jewellery. The table was turned the other way which gave me about 2 feet of space to move in but yesterday, I picked it up (carefully) and took 20 minutes to turn it bit by bit. I was hoping the legs wouldn't fall off with the weight of it all but not even a piece of paper fell to the ground. That's my new necklace ready to be finished on the purple.

The whole place looks worse than it actually is, no, not really, it is bad.  It's softened by the Haversham affect of draped cobwebs and layered dust. The Hoover has still not been operational, after I moved the sofa bed I had to sweep again and pick up more dead socks. I think I'm just about ready for it though because the treadle machine is in the middle of the sewing room and the sewing machine will be there tomorrow. Did I say that last week?  Honestly this house is like Rubik's Cube, impossible to get all in order without moving this and that and moving it all back again until the problem is solved and I was never any good at Rubik's.

Every night I plan what to move the next day and hope it fits.  Like I said, sewing machine tomorrow along with four large boxes of ribbons which will go in the spot vacated by four of his large boxes of precious goods. The tv that sat on the treadle machine went on the small table on legs that went against the wall just nicely with enough room for those 4 boxes.  

I love it when a plan comes together.

Round in circles

That's what it feels like at the moment and I know superhouseworkers would laugh at my methods but there is a pattern to this.
Question one was do I take up where I left off two years ago in the sewing room or do I try to jam twice as much in the lace cupboard?  One look in there at the one shelf dedicated to patchwork fabric and one look at what had to go in now and I had my mind made up for me.
So I've been sitting and cutting with some success.  5 bags down to 2 is good, even better is one large garbage bag full of little scraps of no use.  This all came from Mum's and was lovely cotton but not enough to make something big but enough to cut into squares for scrap quilts. Hard core quilters look away now, if the square didn't fit one way then I cut it on the bias, a real no-no in the quilt world but not in mine.
I must digress here for a moment. I walked past a resident at the home last week and thought how bright and cheery he looked with his rug and realised it was the rug I'd crocheted for my mother-in-law 35 years ago. I had taken out the cigarette burned squares and turned it into two smaller sizes but it looked great. So who cares if a few material bits are on the bias, with my sewing it matters not.

On top of the to-do pile and it might not be soon is something special for Andrew but it looks like I might miss the birthday deadline.  Never mind, by the time it's finished he'll be the bright spot at the retirement village.  I have 3 quilts to finish but first remove the TV from the old treadle machine which is the only thing heavy enough to take a 50 year old all steel machine.  The sewing table on wheels is okay for the 30 year plastic one.  Both of which I had repaired, oiled and reconditioned ready for use, you guessed it, two years ago.

Other genius things I have done this week.  Worked out that if I put the cupboard that I am doing up, which won't get in the sewing room for years because BOH and the little mother have to find a place to live, in the middle of the carport then I can put the chipboard from the sofa bed on top of that and I will have a work bench. That's after I remove the nuts, bolts, spanners and his riding boots off the top of it.  I swear every time he couldn't find a screwdriver he went and bought another set.  And he was amazed that I managed to get the mattress and chipboard upright. "How did you do that?", the knowledge that he wouldn't get around to helping me for another two years.  Same thing about the drawer that is taking the place of the cupboard. I plan first. I knew the lid came off, chipboard, and the drawer came out, leaving the framework of good Ash and I just carried them all to the carport.  Mind you it wouldn't be outside in the weather if a certain ex had had enough brains to ask the carpenter for a solid wood lid on what was the bottom of a huge wardrobe that his grandfather had made as part of his apprenticeship at the end of the 19th century.  Sorry, off track again but I do have the dressing table that went with it and M-in-L told me never to give it to him. The old boy made the cupboard sideboard as well.

After that I swept the dirt, dust and long hair off the carpet in that room.  Lovely rose colour carpet but it's a magnet for things that stick like cotton threads and long hair and even the Hoover can't suck it up.  While I had a broom in my hand (shut up it's been a long time) I did over the kitchen floor, thinking how much space there was now that the baby change table and drawers were gone.  "Light bulb" and I was dragging all the things I'd bought for them that had been living under the dining table forever including enormous box of dinner setting for 8 and now I don't have space in the kitchen but I do have space for my feet when I'm working at the dining table.

And after all that,  the house still looks like a bomb went off.

I really must do something about the fly and spider graveyard behind my bedside table.

Stormy weather

We just had a deluge here with water coming over the spouting like Niagra Falls and now completely gone.

Don't you just love Melbourne.

I am in the middle of trying to do 2 years housework in 2 months in case of worst case scenerio like hospital.

I went to see Doc Marvin yesterday.

A handful of scripts and a puffer for trying to rid my lungs of left-over virus and I was ready to leave when I mentioned the burning under the skin of my hands, the right one is much worse than the left.

He turned over the hand and I have a very bad carpal tunnel going on.  The burning is nerve pain and I have a flat spot at the base of my thumb where the muscle should be.  It has wasted away and that why it's easier to lever off the top of the vegemite with a screwdriver instead of unscrewing the lid.  It's why I can't hold a book, peel potatoes, pull out weeds and get the lid off the gin bottle, all of which I tried on Monday. Glorious Monday, sunshine and me in the garden at 9.30 trying to pull weeds.

So now I have to go to some specialist to find out how bad the nerves have deteriorated and whether muscle therapy will help or it's day surgery to fix the problem.

I don't care if it's half hour surgery, it's hospital and I swore I'd never go back.

He said they'd put my arm to sleep, no general knock-out.

Ah, there must have been a look on my face, he also said they could give me enough happy pills to stop any anxiety and panic. 

I'm telling you there aren't enough happy pills to stop me being anxious and having a humongous panic attack even if I can't feel anything in my arm.

Pain is my friend as I try to clean up the bear pit of the lodger.  I managed to stand the mattress upright then the chipboard, forgetting to lean the chipboard and the whole lot started towards me and I'd have been flat on the steel frame but I fought valiantly and won.  OMG, what was underneath that bed.  Socks, a jacket he thought he'd lost, dust, his hair, 8 of my plates and bowls and cutlery and 3 tea towells. 

I brushed down the sofa bed and folded it all up, then I unfolded it and put in the bloody mattress then I folded it up.

I looked in the fabric cupboard for the first time in two years and started to put away all the latest patchwork fabric. Ouchie and more ouchie, pain in hand, burning, pain up arm and all from folding fabric.  

Looks like I bite the bullet and make the appointment as soon as possible. Damnfeckdamn.

On a good note, I've seen the baby.  He is a sweetie, lovely shaped little head, long fingers, ideal for a pianist or a pickpocket, chicken legs and long feet.  They seem to be coping quite well and Doc Marvin is the only doctor they want for him. I think the Doc was quite chuffed at that.

I have mother all squared away.  I took all her little boxes off her and tore them up.  She now has 6 large boxes and believe me that's downsizing for ma. I brought all the spare cards and paper home and she only gets back what she uses. Bad enough doing my housework without doing hers. 

And sister, yeah, great help.  Couldn't care a fig, more or less said suck it up and this after two years of me having her kid here, rent free.  Now you see why I buy her birthday present in January because by September we are rarely on speaking terms.

And what's really killing me is the two parcels that arrived from America this week containing my new glass paints and glossies. I was going to get started on my painted canisters (moccona coffee jars) and wine glasses and candle holders. The glossies were for dollying up the gnomes in the garden. But I'm stuck with two years of housework.

Another thing about this stupid complaint is that I can make jewellery with pliers and wire but can't thread and knot pearls.  Thumbing through 100 or so craft magazines didn't help either.  Pulling the ring tops off vodka cans is okay but squeezing the orange juice is a bugger.

Best Olympic photo ever

Brass medal to the suggestion that we'll win more medals if children are forced  to do sport at school.

I was forced to do sport and hated every minute of the time I spent on the ground after falling over or off equipment.  Falling from the uneven bars left me winded and thinking I was dying. I nearly broke a leg falling over the hurdles and they weren't even upright. I had big boobs, running caused injuries to anyone near me.

Swimming wasn't bad but I kept forgetting which side I had to breathe and usually swam to the bottom of the pool.  Diving?????  You couldn't get me to climb up the ladder.  Basketball, forget that although I wish I could forget falling on asphalt and skinning knees, elbows and knuckles.

So you could say I'm not in favour of forcing anyone to do sport if they're not suited to it.  It would be like forcing sporty types to do needlework.  I haven't forgotten the PE teacher who nearly broke my neck forcing me to do a forward roll over a vaulting horse. I like watching the gymnastics but I feel the pain again after all these years. Woman truly was a bitch.

I didn't buy it.

Mum had a friend buy it for me and it was delicious and I only had one slice, large.  The rest we gave to our favourite nurses for their evening cuppa.
My granddaughters rang for my birthday, lovely surprise.  Both are doing well and making their own way in life. Their mother is in Botswana, with a church group, building houses for the poor.  Considering the way in which she brought up her own girls, she's racking up Karma big time.
Not a groat left in their Trust Fund, money that should have lasted until they were at least 20.  Not after she picked it clean.  Eldest granddaughter using information I gave her, checked with the Trust and found out the whole deal.  Mother dearest might have provided receipts and invoices for items bought but nothing stopped her from selling them on and keeping the cash for herself.  She even did this with the house the Judge demanded she buy for the children.  His mistake was not putting in writing that the house was to belong to the girls or if sold, the money should be returned to the trust or another house bought. She sold the house exactly 12 months later to avoid paying tax on the sale and pocketed the loot.  I have never forgiven her for that on a long list of 'not forgivens'.
I cost me a fortune to make a will tying up this house and money so that she could never get her hands on it and it went to the girls.  Even then they weren't to have it until they turned 25 but it looks like I will get to see them reach that age, terrific.
I am always polite to the bitch when I meet her, secret knowledge makes me serene and she will never accumulate enough Karma to undo the damage she's done to every person who ever crossed her path.
Just thinking about it upsets me and I wish I still had that cake.