I have always hated New Year's Eve. I must have been a real emo child because I'd get to Christmas and think, "I've made it through another year." Then the next thing it would be New Year's Eve and I was looking down the tunnel at another year to get through. Happiness at this time of the year was never my strong suit.
Later in my married state I also hated the drinking and the hangovers of so-called responsible adults. I hated being the sober one at every party. In fact, I used to put in an appearance early in the night and then go home for a cup of tea and some tv and trundle back in time for supper. Usually by then the neighbours would be more repulsive than normal so I would take a plate of food home and put my feet up and watch more tv.
This year is a little different. I am getting a return visit of my granddaughters. Twice, in 7 months, pinch me I'm dreaming. Three days notice and I haven't heard if they got on the plane but I will tomorrow. I've only got them for a couple of days but that's fine.
I shopped for food and made up their bed. I may have to shut the kitchen door until their other grandparents leave and I hope no-one looks too closely at my bed where I've thrown a rug over the debris. I'm expecting a guest on January 12 so the plan was to clean the easy way. I don't do fast clean. I don't do tidy up. I have to do it from the bottom up and everything in its place before the hoovering takes over. The Hoover is now happy, it was used at last and just to make me feel bad, the belt's about to break.
The BrickOutHouse came over last night and hooked up the DVD with its surround sound and Whoa Nelly! does it belt out. Stupid me, didn't realize it also had a built in fm/am stereo radio.
So I'm off to enjoy my Stargate and The Mummy Returns before the girls take over both DVD and computer.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
CHECK THE GOODS
How many times have I heard that and do I ever check the goods before I leave the shop, no.
I rely on honest and reliable salespeople.
I am an idiot.
When I unpacked the new DVD player today there is no remote control or instruction book.
There'll be a phone call in the morning though.
I'm desperate. I was halfway through the first episode of the first series of Stargate SG1 when my very old DVD died.
My fault, I did ask what else could go wrong.
I rely on honest and reliable salespeople.
I am an idiot.
When I unpacked the new DVD player today there is no remote control or instruction book.
There'll be a phone call in the morning though.
I'm desperate. I was halfway through the first episode of the first series of Stargate SG1 when my very old DVD died.
My fault, I did ask what else could go wrong.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
CHRISTMAS MEME
Starting at 8.45 this morning, Insanity Central ramped it up.
I wanted to have a stroll to the bus stop because public transport was free and a stroll around less crowded shops in Mentone then a leisurely afternoon of Mother getting her presents.
I spent most of the morning on the phone sorting out her life.
She couldn't swallow her pills. The washing machine was broken. Somebody called from the housekeeping but she couldn't remember what they said.
She swallowed the pills when she put water in the glass.
The washing machine was turned off at the wall and so was the dryer which was just as well since she took the soaking washing out of the machine and put it in the dryer. I siphoned the water out of that and gingerly switched it on, good, the electrics didn't blow up.
I got her lunch, gave her the presents and a bunch of pale pink roses with a cream outer petal and received the orders for the afternoon. I'd already done most of them which always pisses her off and while she slept, I got to finish this Christmas present meme from Sunday's Age.
1. If you were feeling greedy......
The biggest most luxurious suite in my choice of hotel for two weeks with a personal chef, never ending Champagne ( a different one each day to go with the gourmet food) and a jacuzi with a view over the city to the bay.
2. If you weren't feeling greedy.....
The biggest donation ever to the Fred Hollows Foundation. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to live in a third world country let alone live there without sight.
3. If you were being practical......
Made to measure granny boots. Is it still practical to have them made by Christian Louboutin?
4. If you had to share your present.......
A Gold Class Cinema for the entire day. Free food, drink and the company of bloggers but my choice of movies, I'm not that generous. I think an Indianna Jones marathon with Daffy Duck cartoon breaks. Nothing cerebral and nothing to make me cry. No mobile phones but yelling, talking and throwing jaffas allowed.
5. If you were 10 years old again......
A sugar plum fairy tutu, pale pink toe shoes and don't forget the tiara.
6. If you had a present for one day only (and then had to return it).......
I'd like to have Catherine Jenkins voice and sing every song I've ever loved. The thing is I couldn't hold a note if you put it in a jar with handles but she can.
Of course I'd have to apologize for the state it was in when I returned it.
My Christmas Day of Peace is assured. Four magazines, two novels, six DVDs, one box of chocolates and the glorious Bombay. No tofus were harmed in the making of my Christmas salad.
I wanted to have a stroll to the bus stop because public transport was free and a stroll around less crowded shops in Mentone then a leisurely afternoon of Mother getting her presents.
I spent most of the morning on the phone sorting out her life.
She couldn't swallow her pills. The washing machine was broken. Somebody called from the housekeeping but she couldn't remember what they said.
She swallowed the pills when she put water in the glass.
The washing machine was turned off at the wall and so was the dryer which was just as well since she took the soaking washing out of the machine and put it in the dryer. I siphoned the water out of that and gingerly switched it on, good, the electrics didn't blow up.
I got her lunch, gave her the presents and a bunch of pale pink roses with a cream outer petal and received the orders for the afternoon. I'd already done most of them which always pisses her off and while she slept, I got to finish this Christmas present meme from Sunday's Age.
1. If you were feeling greedy......
The biggest most luxurious suite in my choice of hotel for two weeks with a personal chef, never ending Champagne ( a different one each day to go with the gourmet food) and a jacuzi with a view over the city to the bay.
2. If you weren't feeling greedy.....
The biggest donation ever to the Fred Hollows Foundation. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to live in a third world country let alone live there without sight.
3. If you were being practical......
Made to measure granny boots. Is it still practical to have them made by Christian Louboutin?
4. If you had to share your present.......
A Gold Class Cinema for the entire day. Free food, drink and the company of bloggers but my choice of movies, I'm not that generous. I think an Indianna Jones marathon with Daffy Duck cartoon breaks. Nothing cerebral and nothing to make me cry. No mobile phones but yelling, talking and throwing jaffas allowed.
5. If you were 10 years old again......
A sugar plum fairy tutu, pale pink toe shoes and don't forget the tiara.
6. If you had a present for one day only (and then had to return it).......
I'd like to have Catherine Jenkins voice and sing every song I've ever loved. The thing is I couldn't hold a note if you put it in a jar with handles but she can.
Of course I'd have to apologize for the state it was in when I returned it.
My Christmas Day of Peace is assured. Four magazines, two novels, six DVDs, one box of chocolates and the glorious Bombay. No tofus were harmed in the making of my Christmas salad.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I DON'T DARE ASK
If anything else can go wrong or it will.
I look like having to use the dentist money for a new cistern.
The sewing machine fell apart as I put in the last stitch. The repaired one isn't due back until mid-January and then this one will go out in its place.
My broom fell apart.
The washing machine is leaking from the water hose.
The smoke alarm isn't working (you knew that).
My mother keeps asking if Christmas has been yet.
My hair along my forehead has broken off to about 2 inches from the scalp.
And I failed in my mission to bring about Peace and Goodwill to the entire planet in 2008 which means the space ship won't be picking me up on New Year's Eve. On a good note, the earthlings have taught me that when things are tough it helps to Swear. A. Lot.
And whoever is sending me the email which has already taken nearly 15 minutes to download is going to be hunted down and sacrificed to my pre-Christmas mood.
It's still only 44%. It had better be a luscious naked bloke.
I'm on dial-up remember.
Christmas is the pits.
I look like having to use the dentist money for a new cistern.
The sewing machine fell apart as I put in the last stitch. The repaired one isn't due back until mid-January and then this one will go out in its place.
My broom fell apart.
The washing machine is leaking from the water hose.
The smoke alarm isn't working (you knew that).
My mother keeps asking if Christmas has been yet.
My hair along my forehead has broken off to about 2 inches from the scalp.
And I failed in my mission to bring about Peace and Goodwill to the entire planet in 2008 which means the space ship won't be picking me up on New Year's Eve. On a good note, the earthlings have taught me that when things are tough it helps to Swear. A. Lot.
And whoever is sending me the email which has already taken nearly 15 minutes to download is going to be hunted down and sacrificed to my pre-Christmas mood.
It's still only 44%. It had better be a luscious naked bloke.
I'm on dial-up remember.
Christmas is the pits.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
EVERY YEAR THE SAME ADVICE
When daylight saving starts,
CHANGE THE BATTERY IN THE SMOKE ALARM!
Mine's quite dead.
I was only deepfrying Thai tofu cakes coated in sesame seeds.
Now the house looks like a set from "Backdraft".
All I want for Christmas is an exhaust fan and a rangehood and a battery.
CHANGE THE BATTERY IN THE SMOKE ALARM!
Mine's quite dead.
I was only deepfrying Thai tofu cakes coated in sesame seeds.
Now the house looks like a set from "Backdraft".
All I want for Christmas is an exhaust fan and a rangehood and a battery.
Friday, December 19, 2008
THE COUNTDOWN
I have almost recovered. I arrived at Southland yesterday at 9.17 and got home at 2.58. I had no feet that I could feel, shoes full of pain but there were the bins to drag in and groceries to put away.
I did everything on the 23 point list I carried around like the codes to an ICBM pre-emptive strike. This included Hoover bags for mother and Sister's present for mother because she's still not talking to her but probably will by Christmas Day so would I please pick up the DVD.
No complaints about the one off payment for pensioners. I checked all my receipts and totalled the gst and the government's getting a fair whack back.
After having a good run with supertrolley at the last shop, I got to battle with its cousin renegadetrolley. I stopped halfway between the two halves of S/land to have coffee and while I was paying, my trolley disappeared. To say I was stunned doesn't begin to say how I felt. I had my purse but everything else was in there. The man said there was no one behind me so what happened? One look at the lady coming round the corner from the car park was enough. I asked if she'd seen a trolley, she pointed "That way". It had trundled down a slope in the floor, round a corner nearly wiping her out and was half way out to a loading bay when I caught up with it.
It was fine on slopes but try moving it on carpet. It wasn't my fault I knocked down several displays in JB HiFi. Trolleys, prams, people and stocked up aisles do not go well. It was an accidental knock down in Harris Scarfe as well. It was all the fault with Big W who put the fat lady knickers and bras on the bottom hooks in a very narrow spot. I bent to grab knickers, she bent to grab bras and we hit bum to bum and knocked everything flying. We apologised, she looked for my bras, I looked for her knickers and we both called Big W appropriate names.
I was extremely careful in the bottle shop though, I left the beast near the register, well away from the precious Bombay.
And after all that time, I forgot to buy the Christmas chocolates.
I did everything on the 23 point list I carried around like the codes to an ICBM pre-emptive strike. This included Hoover bags for mother and Sister's present for mother because she's still not talking to her but probably will by Christmas Day so would I please pick up the DVD.
No complaints about the one off payment for pensioners. I checked all my receipts and totalled the gst and the government's getting a fair whack back.
After having a good run with supertrolley at the last shop, I got to battle with its cousin renegadetrolley. I stopped halfway between the two halves of S/land to have coffee and while I was paying, my trolley disappeared. To say I was stunned doesn't begin to say how I felt. I had my purse but everything else was in there. The man said there was no one behind me so what happened? One look at the lady coming round the corner from the car park was enough. I asked if she'd seen a trolley, she pointed "That way". It had trundled down a slope in the floor, round a corner nearly wiping her out and was half way out to a loading bay when I caught up with it.
It was fine on slopes but try moving it on carpet. It wasn't my fault I knocked down several displays in JB HiFi. Trolleys, prams, people and stocked up aisles do not go well. It was an accidental knock down in Harris Scarfe as well. It was all the fault with Big W who put the fat lady knickers and bras on the bottom hooks in a very narrow spot. I bent to grab knickers, she bent to grab bras and we hit bum to bum and knocked everything flying. We apologised, she looked for my bras, I looked for her knickers and we both called Big W appropriate names.
I was extremely careful in the bottle shop though, I left the beast near the register, well away from the precious Bombay.
And after all that time, I forgot to buy the Christmas chocolates.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
THE NIGHT WAS DARK AND STORMY
But the Hoover stood tall and strong.
It's still there, in the hallway. I've walked over it, tripped over it, moved it sideways but haven't used it.
Yesterday it was material and today I was sidetracked when looking for an envelope. Paper, luscious paper, hiding in the bottom drawer of the desk and I haven't been in there for ages. Basildon Bond in cream and white. Odds and ends picked up in sales, computer note paper, star spangled A4 thick card, embossed ivory A4 card and down in the dungeon, gold tissue lined cream envelopes.
I had to tidy them up. Good paper should be looked after and played with and drooled over and touched. Envelopes of all sizes and not the cheap rubbish, thick and solid, just waiting for a real pen with real ink. I have the right stamps, pink roses. The Post Office had nearly sold out but I snaffled the last book of pale pink roses in a gold heart stamps. I haven't used any yet, I was waiting for the right envelope.
After the paper was tidy, it was the turn of my ever growing pencil collection. I can throw out a ball point with no hesitation but a pencil will have to be worn to the nub before I admit defeat.
I think I might have an addiction. I have 76 pencils. Of all different hardness including white charcoal. Half aren't sharpened but the others looked a little blunt. Who would have thought that an hour could pass so pleasantly when wielding a sharp blade? You can keep your shiny kitchen floor, nothing beats a handful of nicely sharpened pencils for admiration.
We didn't have much money when I was a child and there was never any for coloured pencils so if my mother missed me when she shopped, I was easy to find in front of any pencil and paper counter. I lusted after the Derwent box. I finally bought my own about 20 years ago.
I can't draw for nuts. I can colour. My colour sense is great, my drawing sucks. When I want to paint on the jars and tins for the pantry, I iron on an embroidery transfer. Umm, shouldna tol ya that. I haven't been near the paint box, I did that last Christmas but I have painted a tin tray that was a wedding present to my mother-in-law. It's Brunswick green with gold leaf on the handles and gold leaf swirls around the edge. I'd put more on but the gold leaf paint is doing a bit of damage to the lungs, that and the glue. I'm up to painting the weetbix tin in peach. How anyone could eat weetbix out of an orange and black tin is beyond me. So it's peach and I'm using ceramic transfers as a border and painting 'weetbix' in a flowery oval.
I've been into every cupboard in this house except the pantry, that's a two week job especially the part where I have to throw out glass jars. Going in there means washing stuff, boring.
The linen cupboard gets the works on Friday because tomorrow I pick up my new towells and new sheets. I love layby.
And the Hoover still stands tall and strong.
It's still there, in the hallway. I've walked over it, tripped over it, moved it sideways but haven't used it.
Yesterday it was material and today I was sidetracked when looking for an envelope. Paper, luscious paper, hiding in the bottom drawer of the desk and I haven't been in there for ages. Basildon Bond in cream and white. Odds and ends picked up in sales, computer note paper, star spangled A4 thick card, embossed ivory A4 card and down in the dungeon, gold tissue lined cream envelopes.
I had to tidy them up. Good paper should be looked after and played with and drooled over and touched. Envelopes of all sizes and not the cheap rubbish, thick and solid, just waiting for a real pen with real ink. I have the right stamps, pink roses. The Post Office had nearly sold out but I snaffled the last book of pale pink roses in a gold heart stamps. I haven't used any yet, I was waiting for the right envelope.
After the paper was tidy, it was the turn of my ever growing pencil collection. I can throw out a ball point with no hesitation but a pencil will have to be worn to the nub before I admit defeat.
I think I might have an addiction. I have 76 pencils. Of all different hardness including white charcoal. Half aren't sharpened but the others looked a little blunt. Who would have thought that an hour could pass so pleasantly when wielding a sharp blade? You can keep your shiny kitchen floor, nothing beats a handful of nicely sharpened pencils for admiration.
We didn't have much money when I was a child and there was never any for coloured pencils so if my mother missed me when she shopped, I was easy to find in front of any pencil and paper counter. I lusted after the Derwent box. I finally bought my own about 20 years ago.
I can't draw for nuts. I can colour. My colour sense is great, my drawing sucks. When I want to paint on the jars and tins for the pantry, I iron on an embroidery transfer. Umm, shouldna tol ya that. I haven't been near the paint box, I did that last Christmas but I have painted a tin tray that was a wedding present to my mother-in-law. It's Brunswick green with gold leaf on the handles and gold leaf swirls around the edge. I'd put more on but the gold leaf paint is doing a bit of damage to the lungs, that and the glue. I'm up to painting the weetbix tin in peach. How anyone could eat weetbix out of an orange and black tin is beyond me. So it's peach and I'm using ceramic transfers as a border and painting 'weetbix' in a flowery oval.
I've been into every cupboard in this house except the pantry, that's a two week job especially the part where I have to throw out glass jars. Going in there means washing stuff, boring.
The linen cupboard gets the works on Friday because tomorrow I pick up my new towells and new sheets. I love layby.
And the Hoover still stands tall and strong.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
TIS THE SEASON TO PROCRASTINATE
And I do it so well.
Why does one get so many other things done when procrastinating (using it a lot, I can spell it) about not doing the things that should be done?
I walked to the fabric cupboard this afternoon, just for one piece of material and only one so why was I still there two hours later.
I was looking at a tidy fabric shelf. Every metre neatly folded and colour coded.
Note the 'metre'. When I fancied that I might try patchwork back last century, I didn't know what a 'fat quarter' was or that you only needed smallish pieces of fabric. I went berserk and ordered everything I liked, in metres. I've made dresses and nightdresses out of this stock.
I ended up with two boxes and one book to cover and it took an hour to choose the right fabric for each one and I haven't started on the ribbons yet. I can't start the covering because it's raining again and I daren't do anymore lethal spraying in the lounge or my lungs with give out completely.
This was after I finished hand sewing the necks and cuffs on next year's winter dresses and since I won't be needing them until next winter, I'm forgetting about sewing four miles of hem until May 2009 when I discover I haven't hemmed them. I'll just pop them in dress bags and walk quietly away.
This was before my role as peace negotiator (wing it, I can't be bothered with mundane spelling) was required. Sister is still refusing to speak to mother. Mother needs something so rings me to ring her and ask. Sister sends friend across the road, that's right, across the road with the needed somethings and rings me to say what's she done. Mother rings me to say they've arrived and proceeds to complain that she's been left alone all day and hasn't eaten except for the meals on wheels dessert which was nice but she can't remember what it was and tea might be nice but it has a funny name and she hopes it doesn't taste funny and she's tired because of all the housework she'd done (que?) and which I'd forgotten to do yesterday before I rushed off and no there isn't punctuation in this because the bloody woman never drew breath.
I refuse to see anyone on Christmas Day. I'm not home. I'm going away or I'm staying home to cover the house in fabric including the doors.
Why does one get so many other things done when procrastinating (using it a lot, I can spell it) about not doing the things that should be done?
I walked to the fabric cupboard this afternoon, just for one piece of material and only one so why was I still there two hours later.
I was looking at a tidy fabric shelf. Every metre neatly folded and colour coded.
Note the 'metre'. When I fancied that I might try patchwork back last century, I didn't know what a 'fat quarter' was or that you only needed smallish pieces of fabric. I went berserk and ordered everything I liked, in metres. I've made dresses and nightdresses out of this stock.
I ended up with two boxes and one book to cover and it took an hour to choose the right fabric for each one and I haven't started on the ribbons yet. I can't start the covering because it's raining again and I daren't do anymore lethal spraying in the lounge or my lungs with give out completely.
This was after I finished hand sewing the necks and cuffs on next year's winter dresses and since I won't be needing them until next winter, I'm forgetting about sewing four miles of hem until May 2009 when I discover I haven't hemmed them. I'll just pop them in dress bags and walk quietly away.
This was before my role as peace negotiator (wing it, I can't be bothered with mundane spelling) was required. Sister is still refusing to speak to mother. Mother needs something so rings me to ring her and ask. Sister sends friend across the road, that's right, across the road with the needed somethings and rings me to say what's she done. Mother rings me to say they've arrived and proceeds to complain that she's been left alone all day and hasn't eaten except for the meals on wheels dessert which was nice but she can't remember what it was and tea might be nice but it has a funny name and she hopes it doesn't taste funny and she's tired because of all the housework she'd done (que?) and which I'd forgotten to do yesterday before I rushed off and no there isn't punctuation in this because the bloody woman never drew breath.
I refuse to see anyone on Christmas Day. I'm not home. I'm going away or I'm staying home to cover the house in fabric including the doors.
Monday, December 15, 2008
BEYOND BELIEF
A trudge over this morning, another visit to the pharmacy to pick up stuff she forget to tell me about.
She looked so ill and grey I thought she might actually die.
Her breathing was shallow and she couldn't raise her head from the pillow.
I did the washing, the dishwasher and paid more bills and sat down while she slept.
At l o'clock she woke up with no memory whatsoever of anything that happened this morning.
She didn't remember the meals on wheels lady giving her a gift.
She didn't remember giving me the menu or asking me to fill it out because she couldn't lift a pencil.
She didn't remember me arriving at all.
She didn't remember me writing on the calendar who was coming to do the cleaning and what time.
She was so confused about all the housework being done that she stood in the middle of the kitchen and didn't know where to go or what to do.
So she decided to move the electric frypan, with one hand because she can't take both off the walker.
By the time my sister went across to check her tonight, she was back in rotten old bitch mode.
Hating everyone because she's not going to have the Christmas she wants.
I feel like Ingrid Bergman in 'Gaslight'.
She looked so ill and grey I thought she might actually die.
Her breathing was shallow and she couldn't raise her head from the pillow.
I did the washing, the dishwasher and paid more bills and sat down while she slept.
At l o'clock she woke up with no memory whatsoever of anything that happened this morning.
She didn't remember the meals on wheels lady giving her a gift.
She didn't remember giving me the menu or asking me to fill it out because she couldn't lift a pencil.
She didn't remember me arriving at all.
She didn't remember me writing on the calendar who was coming to do the cleaning and what time.
She was so confused about all the housework being done that she stood in the middle of the kitchen and didn't know where to go or what to do.
So she decided to move the electric frypan, with one hand because she can't take both off the walker.
By the time my sister went across to check her tonight, she was back in rotten old bitch mode.
Hating everyone because she's not going to have the Christmas she wants.
I feel like Ingrid Bergman in 'Gaslight'.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I'VE STARTED
And not gone very far.
I hoovered the hallway.
Mother rang.
I sat down to recover sanity and fell asleep in the chair.
That is all.
I hoovered the hallway.
Mother rang.
I sat down to recover sanity and fell asleep in the chair.
That is all.
Friday, December 12, 2008
MAKE PAIN YOUR FRIEND
The Karate Kid needs to re-think about that. I have pain from the soles of my feet to my kneecaps, that's real solid pain.
I woke up at 7, couldn't sleep so I hung out the washing and I couldn't see the forecast of rain and 20 degrees as it was warm then.
Wrangled the usual convoluted phone call at 8.30.
Then I was off and walking. To the chemist to pay bills, collect pills, discuss mother's medication with the pharmacist, to the bus stop for Southland and all over the shopping centre.
I officially love Dick Smith Electrics. The mouse was replaced with the more expensive model with the adapter for the same price. I'm downloading mouse software to make it move from side to side and tilt, like that's not going to play havoc with a hangover. The little beast zips enough already. I had cursors doing aerobatics until I got control.
Not so happy with Medicare. To get a rebate on a $29 pathology bill for mother, I have to front up with photo ID which means going there again with my passport. There are new rules for collecting even with Power of Attorney, they want to know what you look like. I don't know why the pathology lab didn't bulk bill the way they usually do.
Really happy with Harris Scarfe and no deposit layby which means I will never miss another bargain because I don't have the deposit. I couldn't help myself, the bargain was really a bargain and it just leapt into my waiting arms and clung there like a fluffy bunny until I plonked it on the layby counter. A real bargain since it scanned $10 lower than the bargain price and no, I didn't tell them there was a mistake. I only look stupid.
Not happy with Target who gave me a raincheck on a DVD which JB HiFi now have at $3 cheaper. That was at least 4 weeks ago and if they didn't have it, why advertise it. Going anywhere Target sends me insane. Pages and pages in their catalogue but try and find anything in store.
Big W had rubber thongs for $3 and I bought a pair because by this time I was scraping the skin off the balls of my feet.
Anyway the forecast came true, it's cold and raining now.
I woke up at 7, couldn't sleep so I hung out the washing and I couldn't see the forecast of rain and 20 degrees as it was warm then.
Wrangled the usual convoluted phone call at 8.30.
Then I was off and walking. To the chemist to pay bills, collect pills, discuss mother's medication with the pharmacist, to the bus stop for Southland and all over the shopping centre.
I officially love Dick Smith Electrics. The mouse was replaced with the more expensive model with the adapter for the same price. I'm downloading mouse software to make it move from side to side and tilt, like that's not going to play havoc with a hangover. The little beast zips enough already. I had cursors doing aerobatics until I got control.
Not so happy with Medicare. To get a rebate on a $29 pathology bill for mother, I have to front up with photo ID which means going there again with my passport. There are new rules for collecting even with Power of Attorney, they want to know what you look like. I don't know why the pathology lab didn't bulk bill the way they usually do.
Really happy with Harris Scarfe and no deposit layby which means I will never miss another bargain because I don't have the deposit. I couldn't help myself, the bargain was really a bargain and it just leapt into my waiting arms and clung there like a fluffy bunny until I plonked it on the layby counter. A real bargain since it scanned $10 lower than the bargain price and no, I didn't tell them there was a mistake. I only look stupid.
Not happy with Target who gave me a raincheck on a DVD which JB HiFi now have at $3 cheaper. That was at least 4 weeks ago and if they didn't have it, why advertise it. Going anywhere Target sends me insane. Pages and pages in their catalogue but try and find anything in store.
Big W had rubber thongs for $3 and I bought a pair because by this time I was scraping the skin off the balls of my feet.
Anyway the forecast came true, it's cold and raining now.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
STUPID COMPUTER HARDWARE
I bought a new mouse.
It has a flat plug to go into a USB.
My old mouse has a round plug.
It fits the computer, the new one doesn't.
I would have known that if it hadn't been tucked away inside a layer of plastic and four tonnes of cardboard with no indication of a flat plug anywhere on the packaging.
Now I have to take it back.
I am not paying squillions to get a wireless laser zippitydodah mouse.
I'll just have to get along without the scrolling thingy.
Just to drive myself a little crazier. I plugged in the keyboard that came with the computer and remembered why I still use the $20 one from Big W.
That keyboard is free range, the one I'm using at the moment is caged.
I don't have midget type fingers. I need room to move and it has no spring in the keys. My fingers are getting sore already. It also moves on one side while the other sticks to the desk. And it's black so I can't see it in the dark.
I have blisters on my feet too.
The Universe hates me.
It has a flat plug to go into a USB.
My old mouse has a round plug.
It fits the computer, the new one doesn't.
I would have known that if it hadn't been tucked away inside a layer of plastic and four tonnes of cardboard with no indication of a flat plug anywhere on the packaging.
Now I have to take it back.
I am not paying squillions to get a wireless laser zippitydodah mouse.
I'll just have to get along without the scrolling thingy.
Just to drive myself a little crazier. I plugged in the keyboard that came with the computer and remembered why I still use the $20 one from Big W.
That keyboard is free range, the one I'm using at the moment is caged.
I don't have midget type fingers. I need room to move and it has no spring in the keys. My fingers are getting sore already. It also moves on one side while the other sticks to the desk. And it's black so I can't see it in the dark.
I have blisters on my feet too.
The Universe hates me.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
STILL FIGHTING WITH THE DOONA
Making the bed is not going well. Probably the glue sniffing. It's not my fault I keep finding more interesting things to do other than housework. That's the nice thing about a Hoover, it just sits in the middle of the lounge, silent and patient. It knows that sooner or later I'll have to stop kicking it aside and actually use it.
It's pissing down outside and I'm cold so I haven't turned the pilot light off in the gas fire so I can't put up the folderoles for decoration.
Laugh of the day was 'her down the back' having solar heating put up but they had to stop because of the rain.
Laugh of the week was hearing the Blight and Blonde have gotten humongously fat. Of course my spy could have been just a tad spiteful because he'd just won the Christmas ham raffle which she was hoping to win. With all his money and he's still looking to win the food raffle, his father's son all over. Fat, heart attack on legs but not her, she's already got a pacemaker, the reptile.
Okay, I'm ready to try the bed once more. Wouldn't you think someone would have had the bright idea to write top, bottom, sides on an almost square doona?
Chocolate Ripple cake very luscious and rich. I decided to freeze it but forgot to put freezer paper on the plate so now I can't get it off and the plate is frozen as well. On the other hand I did find the half dozen donuts I bought last week, nicely frozen but they thaw fast. Fancy me forgetting donuts, talk about a senior's moment.
It's pissing down outside and I'm cold so I haven't turned the pilot light off in the gas fire so I can't put up the folderoles for decoration.
Laugh of the day was 'her down the back' having solar heating put up but they had to stop because of the rain.
Laugh of the week was hearing the Blight and Blonde have gotten humongously fat. Of course my spy could have been just a tad spiteful because he'd just won the Christmas ham raffle which she was hoping to win. With all his money and he's still looking to win the food raffle, his father's son all over. Fat, heart attack on legs but not her, she's already got a pacemaker, the reptile.
Okay, I'm ready to try the bed once more. Wouldn't you think someone would have had the bright idea to write top, bottom, sides on an almost square doona?
Chocolate Ripple cake very luscious and rich. I decided to freeze it but forgot to put freezer paper on the plate so now I can't get it off and the plate is frozen as well. On the other hand I did find the half dozen donuts I bought last week, nicely frozen but they thaw fast. Fancy me forgetting donuts, talk about a senior's moment.
ALWAYS KEEP A DIARY
I suppose there are some out in cyberland who think I'm exaggerating about mother and quite possibly think I'm a bitch.
I went back in my diary for this time last year and she was much nastier then. So I should be glad the old bat has slowed down and dropped a lot of the vitriol.
It still doesn't make it easier when she rings at some ridiculous hour of the morning because she didn't want to miss me before I go shopping.
I'm going shopping on Thursday but according to her that's Christmas Day, it says so on the calendar and I did say I was having to shop two days early.
By the time I untangle all this and get her to see that Christmas is two weeks away, I'm awake with only three hours sleep.
I blame lack of sleep for me putting the doona sideways into the cover and why the bed still isn't made and probably won't be until I'm ready to pass out around midnight.
I went back in my diary for this time last year and she was much nastier then. So I should be glad the old bat has slowed down and dropped a lot of the vitriol.
It still doesn't make it easier when she rings at some ridiculous hour of the morning because she didn't want to miss me before I go shopping.
I'm going shopping on Thursday but according to her that's Christmas Day, it says so on the calendar and I did say I was having to shop two days early.
By the time I untangle all this and get her to see that Christmas is two weeks away, I'm awake with only three hours sleep.
I blame lack of sleep for me putting the doona sideways into the cover and why the bed still isn't made and probably won't be until I'm ready to pass out around midnight.
Monday, December 08, 2008
THANKS KEVVIE ME OL MATE
If I hear one more person saying they hope the government knows what it's doing handing out money to pensioners, I'll scream.
The same goes to the pensioners who are getting the money but say they don't really need it.
I spent the day going through the bills I have to pay for my mother and $1,400 went in a flash.
Even with direct debits to the utilities companies and having a monthly phone bill, she's still way behind.
Of course, if she didn't get up at 5 in the morning to put the fire on for the cat, that bill would be way down. I now remind her during the 8 a.m. phone call to get up, take her pills, get breakfast and turn the bloody fire off.
The medication safety net ends on December 31 and I haven't got that bill down to zero yet.
The rates instalment is late but I'm more concerned with paying for the meals on wheels.
I don't even want to look at her credit card but there'll be a big payment on that this week. I still have issues with NAB for extending her credit limit when it was obvious she couldn't pay the amount she already owed. This was after we paid the card off twice and asked for a $2000 limit which was not to be exceeded.
After all this, she has about $300 to spend on whatever she wants and it's not much, a new nightdress, towells and some DVDs. Bring on the post Christmas sales.
The same goes to the pensioners who are getting the money but say they don't really need it.
I spent the day going through the bills I have to pay for my mother and $1,400 went in a flash.
Even with direct debits to the utilities companies and having a monthly phone bill, she's still way behind.
Of course, if she didn't get up at 5 in the morning to put the fire on for the cat, that bill would be way down. I now remind her during the 8 a.m. phone call to get up, take her pills, get breakfast and turn the bloody fire off.
The medication safety net ends on December 31 and I haven't got that bill down to zero yet.
The rates instalment is late but I'm more concerned with paying for the meals on wheels.
I don't even want to look at her credit card but there'll be a big payment on that this week. I still have issues with NAB for extending her credit limit when it was obvious she couldn't pay the amount she already owed. This was after we paid the card off twice and asked for a $2000 limit which was not to be exceeded.
After all this, she has about $300 to spend on whatever she wants and it's not much, a new nightdress, towells and some DVDs. Bring on the post Christmas sales.
Friday, December 05, 2008
I NEED SOME SPARE PARTS
I could do with two new thumbs, one leg, a set of lungs and a shoulder joint.
After shopping yesterday I put out the charity bag since the truck hadn't been and while I was out there thought I might as well do the rest of the branches.
A hour of sawing later and two minutes before lawnmower man turned up, I had the lot out. There is one left but half way through my shoulder packed up and ran inside snivelling.
The chomper is coming some time next week and if neighbour next door puts anything on that pile that isn't regulation, I'll have his nuts.
Today I was going to vaccum/vacuum, I can never remember how to spell it so both are going in, but I was sidetracked by a hatbox. The colour has been annoying me for a while so I thought I'd change it and while I was doing that one, I might as well do the other and with all this material left over, I could get that other one to match. Then there was the diary I bought yesterday. I can't write in it until it's covered in pretty material with matching ribbon. This choosing of fabric takes a while since I've got to look at it for 12 months and the ribbon has to be just right.
So there went another hour ratting around in the fabric stash.
The problem here is the glue I use. Brilliant stuff, sticks like the proverbial to a blanket and dries quickly. I had the back door open, front door open for ventilation but I was still a bit too close to the fumes. I anticipate my lungs collapsing about midnight tonight.
The material has to be pressed down with fingers, and especially thumbs. My thumbs are numbs. If I have to do anything involving opposing digits in the next 24 hours, I'm stuffed. I have a bag of potato crisps yelling for attention and I haven't the thumb strength to open it.
I also have the card table up and am painting tin things with paint that shouldn't be used without goggles and gloves and a nose mask. Guess who didn't read the label first. It's gold leaf paint and I'm using the finest brush but I reckon if I don't strike a match in the lounge room, what with the glue fumes and this, then the house will still be here for Christmas.
The fumes aren't annoying my leg, dropping a log on it did that. I have bruises on my bruises. And now my mouse isn't scrolling. And Telstra are going to make me pay if the line fuckiness is on my side when it's their fault for having crappy lines that dangle in trees.
There is a plus, I made a fruit salad of mango, strawberries, bananas, menindee grapes and apricots which is far too healthy so I'll just crumble a few musk sticks over the top fortunately I opened the packet yesterday and I don't need thumbs to use a spoon.
After shopping yesterday I put out the charity bag since the truck hadn't been and while I was out there thought I might as well do the rest of the branches.
A hour of sawing later and two minutes before lawnmower man turned up, I had the lot out. There is one left but half way through my shoulder packed up and ran inside snivelling.
The chomper is coming some time next week and if neighbour next door puts anything on that pile that isn't regulation, I'll have his nuts.
Today I was going to vaccum/vacuum, I can never remember how to spell it so both are going in, but I was sidetracked by a hatbox. The colour has been annoying me for a while so I thought I'd change it and while I was doing that one, I might as well do the other and with all this material left over, I could get that other one to match. Then there was the diary I bought yesterday. I can't write in it until it's covered in pretty material with matching ribbon. This choosing of fabric takes a while since I've got to look at it for 12 months and the ribbon has to be just right.
So there went another hour ratting around in the fabric stash.
The problem here is the glue I use. Brilliant stuff, sticks like the proverbial to a blanket and dries quickly. I had the back door open, front door open for ventilation but I was still a bit too close to the fumes. I anticipate my lungs collapsing about midnight tonight.
The material has to be pressed down with fingers, and especially thumbs. My thumbs are numbs. If I have to do anything involving opposing digits in the next 24 hours, I'm stuffed. I have a bag of potato crisps yelling for attention and I haven't the thumb strength to open it.
I also have the card table up and am painting tin things with paint that shouldn't be used without goggles and gloves and a nose mask. Guess who didn't read the label first. It's gold leaf paint and I'm using the finest brush but I reckon if I don't strike a match in the lounge room, what with the glue fumes and this, then the house will still be here for Christmas.
The fumes aren't annoying my leg, dropping a log on it did that. I have bruises on my bruises. And now my mouse isn't scrolling. And Telstra are going to make me pay if the line fuckiness is on my side when it's their fault for having crappy lines that dangle in trees.
There is a plus, I made a fruit salad of mango, strawberries, bananas, menindee grapes and apricots which is far too healthy so I'll just crumble a few musk sticks over the top fortunately I opened the packet yesterday and I don't need thumbs to use a spoon.
MADE IT
The ART bill has been passed by both houses of Parliament and look, the sky hasn't fallen.
Both mothers in a relationship will be able to legally be parents to their children. The sky still hasn't fallen.
Ted Bailleau isn't happy but a big thank you to Robert Smith for this speech.
In his speech in support of the ART Bill Robert Smith said,"I want to make mention of one of the things that, I have to be honest, changed my mind on this whole debate. On the day the lesbian lobbyists came into the Parliament with their children, I ran into them in the vestibule and took the opportunity to introduce myself and welcome them to the Parliament. I said a stupid thing to them: 'Go and enjoy the debate'. How could anyone enjoy this debate?I thought, 'You fool!', but unfortunately I could not take back the statement. The impact it had on me -- not confronting but meeting these women and their children face to face -- was profound. It drove home to me the fact that we are dealing with real people and real children, here and now. They exist. "
Both mothers in a relationship will be able to legally be parents to their children. The sky still hasn't fallen.
Ted Bailleau isn't happy but a big thank you to Robert Smith for this speech.
In his speech in support of the ART Bill Robert Smith said,"I want to make mention of one of the things that, I have to be honest, changed my mind on this whole debate. On the day the lesbian lobbyists came into the Parliament with their children, I ran into them in the vestibule and took the opportunity to introduce myself and welcome them to the Parliament. I said a stupid thing to them: 'Go and enjoy the debate'. How could anyone enjoy this debate?I thought, 'You fool!', but unfortunately I could not take back the statement. The impact it had on me -- not confronting but meeting these women and their children face to face -- was profound. It drove home to me the fact that we are dealing with real people and real children, here and now. They exist. "
Thursday, December 04, 2008
TROLLEY PRAISING
I never thought I would be praising a shopping trolley but today I had the Rolls Royce of shoppers.
I strolled up the aisle towards the magazines, looked over the shoulder of the bird flipping pages of the mag I wanted, made a mental note not to buy that particular one and then realized it was someone I knew and had vowed not to speak to again in my lifetime.
I did the fastest and best U-turn ever seen in Safeway. I mean that trolley sailed like it had a winged keel and I was in the next aisle with one foot still in the air.
The next aisle was a problem though......biscuits! Shelves and shelves of biscuits. Before I knew it my hand was full of chocolate ripple biscuits and super trolley was heading for the whipped cream section. Chocolate ripple cake. I haven't had Chocolate ripple cake since Noah served it on the Ark.
Thank the Goddess, Annie O'Dyne and I have not pledged to be diet buddies until after Christmas.
I strolled up the aisle towards the magazines, looked over the shoulder of the bird flipping pages of the mag I wanted, made a mental note not to buy that particular one and then realized it was someone I knew and had vowed not to speak to again in my lifetime.
I did the fastest and best U-turn ever seen in Safeway. I mean that trolley sailed like it had a winged keel and I was in the next aisle with one foot still in the air.
The next aisle was a problem though......biscuits! Shelves and shelves of biscuits. Before I knew it my hand was full of chocolate ripple biscuits and super trolley was heading for the whipped cream section. Chocolate ripple cake. I haven't had Chocolate ripple cake since Noah served it on the Ark.
Thank the Goddess, Annie O'Dyne and I have not pledged to be diet buddies until after Christmas.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
GET ORGANISED FOR CHRISTMAS
At this time of the year I can't go past any magazine that has a Christmas cover. I'm never going to cook the food or make the decorations but I just can't resist. Notebook had this great checklist for the six weeks before Christmas but by the time I bought it, I'd missed week six and week five and week four has nearly passed on.
Four Weeks to Go
Stock the Pantry with staples.
They didn't specify staples. What are my staples? Pasta sauce, pasta, lentils and tomato soup. I was going to say not very Christmassy but they're all red.
Clean the Barbecue, oven and fridge.
Oh I'm hurting from the ROFL'ing. The BBQ is long gone in one of my New Year's Eve deconstructs of things belonging to the Blight. I can't remember the last time I cleaned the oven if I ever did and I'm not cooking beast or fowl so I'll let that slide. The only thing holding the fridge together and keeping the freezer meltwater from flooding, is the mould. I'm all for ecosystems.
Check your decorations and fairy lights and replace any broken globes.
Decorations are still in the pine box. Christmas tree is in the cupboard. Fairy lights are never ever never going to be put up again. My idea for fairy lights is to capture a brood of fairies, douse them in petrol, set fire to them and let them run all over the roof on Christmas Eve. Now that's what I call fairy lights.
Organise a house-cleaning day for the whole family to pitch in.
Oh dear, I'm ROFL'ing again. I'm good for this, I folded up the towells today instead of grabbing one off the couch every time I had a shower. I sprayed a fly and killed it. I took the garbage bins out. Damn, the washing's still in the dryer, a woman's work is never done.
Three weeks to go.
Post Christmas Cards.
Send free Christmas emails from Optus.
Order a fresh tree if required.
Still have plenty of branches from the one I cut down last week.
Decorate the tree and the house.
Stand cut branches in a bucket of sand/cement/polyfiller and paint gold. Spray cobwebs silver.
Start putting popcorn in the fairy traps.
Order fresh flowers for Christmas Day.
Can I eat them? No. Flowers out.
Launder or air table linen for Christmas Lunch or dinner.
Nice idea. If I could just remember what table linen looked liked and remembered how to eat off a table.
Start wrapping presents to place under the tree.
One bottle of expensive perfume wrapped by David Jones. One extremely large box of chocolates wrapped by Myer. The Gin is unwrapped ready for action.
Sort through your music collection or compile CDs for entertaining.
Forget the music. I'm all for a StarWars viewing marathon and no carols. By Christmas Day I'll have had carols up to the wazoo and I've got a big wazoo.
Two weeks to go.
Set aside an evening for the family to do something festive together, such as watch old Christmas movies or attend a local carols performance.
See what I mean about the carols. I've never seen a better recipe for a pre-Christmas massacre than this suggestion.
Purchase supplies for making Christmas drinks.
Okay, now we're in business. Gin, diet tonic water, Gin, Coke Zero, Gin.
Purchase all non-perishable ingredients.
Bendy straws so I don't have to life my head too far.
One week to go.
Write a food preparation schedule for Christmas Day.
Open Gin and diet tonic water.
Open Chocolates.
Open Fridge and see what falls out first.
Collect flowers or have them delivered to your home.
Forget the flowers, check the fairy traps.
Pick up turkey no more than two days before Christmas Day.
Forget the turkey, check the fairy traps.
Collect seafood the day before it's required.
Forget the seafood, check the fairy traps.
Ensure digital cameraas are fully charged and ready to use.
Wouldn't want to miss the fairy lights.
Four Weeks to Go
Stock the Pantry with staples.
They didn't specify staples. What are my staples? Pasta sauce, pasta, lentils and tomato soup. I was going to say not very Christmassy but they're all red.
Clean the Barbecue, oven and fridge.
Oh I'm hurting from the ROFL'ing. The BBQ is long gone in one of my New Year's Eve deconstructs of things belonging to the Blight. I can't remember the last time I cleaned the oven if I ever did and I'm not cooking beast or fowl so I'll let that slide. The only thing holding the fridge together and keeping the freezer meltwater from flooding, is the mould. I'm all for ecosystems.
Check your decorations and fairy lights and replace any broken globes.
Decorations are still in the pine box. Christmas tree is in the cupboard. Fairy lights are never ever never going to be put up again. My idea for fairy lights is to capture a brood of fairies, douse them in petrol, set fire to them and let them run all over the roof on Christmas Eve. Now that's what I call fairy lights.
Organise a house-cleaning day for the whole family to pitch in.
Oh dear, I'm ROFL'ing again. I'm good for this, I folded up the towells today instead of grabbing one off the couch every time I had a shower. I sprayed a fly and killed it. I took the garbage bins out. Damn, the washing's still in the dryer, a woman's work is never done.
Three weeks to go.
Post Christmas Cards.
Send free Christmas emails from Optus.
Order a fresh tree if required.
Still have plenty of branches from the one I cut down last week.
Decorate the tree and the house.
Stand cut branches in a bucket of sand/cement/polyfiller and paint gold. Spray cobwebs silver.
Start putting popcorn in the fairy traps.
Order fresh flowers for Christmas Day.
Can I eat them? No. Flowers out.
Launder or air table linen for Christmas Lunch or dinner.
Nice idea. If I could just remember what table linen looked liked and remembered how to eat off a table.
Start wrapping presents to place under the tree.
One bottle of expensive perfume wrapped by David Jones. One extremely large box of chocolates wrapped by Myer. The Gin is unwrapped ready for action.
Sort through your music collection or compile CDs for entertaining.
Forget the music. I'm all for a StarWars viewing marathon and no carols. By Christmas Day I'll have had carols up to the wazoo and I've got a big wazoo.
Two weeks to go.
Set aside an evening for the family to do something festive together, such as watch old Christmas movies or attend a local carols performance.
See what I mean about the carols. I've never seen a better recipe for a pre-Christmas massacre than this suggestion.
Purchase supplies for making Christmas drinks.
Okay, now we're in business. Gin, diet tonic water, Gin, Coke Zero, Gin.
Purchase all non-perishable ingredients.
Bendy straws so I don't have to life my head too far.
One week to go.
Write a food preparation schedule for Christmas Day.
Open Gin and diet tonic water.
Open Chocolates.
Open Fridge and see what falls out first.
Collect flowers or have them delivered to your home.
Forget the flowers, check the fairy traps.
Pick up turkey no more than two days before Christmas Day.
Forget the turkey, check the fairy traps.
Collect seafood the day before it's required.
Forget the seafood, check the fairy traps.
Ensure digital cameraas are fully charged and ready to use.
Wouldn't want to miss the fairy lights.
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