Hurting so I'm sorry for people who hurt all the time

 Since the end of September my joints, knees, shoulders and elbows have decided to hurt.

I thought it was just arthritis and getting old and I would get used to it.  I'm not getting used to it. I shuffle and try to do normal walking and picking up stuff but I am terrified of falling over.  At least I've come down from two walking sticks to one to none and I'm sure that leaning on sticks didn't do the shoulders any good.

I refuse to acknowledge I have depression, that would really make me depressed. I do have anxiety, a gift given to me as a child, one of those gifts once given never leaves. I know my friends all have pain of some kind and all of us wouldn't make one whole healthy person so we shut up and stagger on. Well I was sick of doing that so I had a good howl the other day and felt better for an hour.

I'm now trying to get in the shower but there's no-one home, only my 80 year old neighbour and I'm terrified of falling. And no I'm not getting one of those alarm things because I'd fret and worry about pressing the button every morning.  I think I'll have a cuppa and a biscuit and sit for a while. 

I wish they'd stuff Black Friday sales which will lead into Christmas sales and hideous carols. I can't even buy Ice Bear a present, five minutes and he's bored. Can't figure out why cats shred toilet paper and look like they're having fun. I tried that and he just put his head on it and went to sleep.

Okay, tea and biscuit, I'll do that first then all that other stuff.

Let them eat cake but not this kind

What else to do on  a stinking hot afternoon than wander through the web looking at shoes and jewells and cakes, lots of cakes.  I had a real laugh out loud at that wedding cake up top. Considering my marriage, this cake should have been centre stage all the way. Come to think of it, it would make perfect divorce celebration eating. 
 

But this cake, a giant life- size unicorn birthday cake. Life-size with a huge cut out chunk of technicolour innards. Here, child, come and get your slice of unicorn cake, which part would you like me to cut into with this huge knife? I can't understand some people. I would have been traumatized for life, in fact, I probably should have put up a warning for Miss O'Dyne with her love of horses. I am gobsmacked at the thought of 20 or so munchkins all waiting for the slaughter of the innocent. It would make a great script for "Castle", soccer mom cuts into the belly of the beast and out rolls a real body instead of that garish cake. How does one get cake to be that colour anyway? Great way to turn kiddies into vegetarians on the spot.

No trouble with cutting into this Cinderella Wedding cake unless you forget the slipper and end up with a gob full of glass. If I ditched the shoe and the castle, it would be the perfect cake for me, a chandelier cake. I love cake and I love chandeliers and there's no rule that says you have to be married to have a wedding cake or a chandelier. I love this cake. I want this cake.

Language

Say 'Skyscraper' and everyone thinks of the Empire State Building or the Chrysler Building but it started life as something completely different.
It was an English naval term - a high light sail to catch the breeze in calm conditions.
It was the name of the Derby winner in 1788, after which tall houses became generally called skyscrapers.
Later it was a kind of hat, then slang for a very tall person. The word arrived in America as a baseball term, meaning a ball hit high in the air.
Now its world meaning is a very tall building.

And why am I giving you all these trivia winning facts? I'm trying to keep my brain active. According to health experts (blows loud disgusting raspberry sound) (nomm, raspberries) being obese could not only lead to the usual blah blah conditions costing all the healthy people a zillion zlotniks to keep us alive but now the fatty bombahs are first in line for Alzheimers. I swear if a damn big meteorite hit earth, the last words we'd hear would be, "The fatties did it, the fatties did it!"

NOT CUTE

This is Bagheera kiplingi, the first vegetarian spider known to science.

It was discovered in Central America and goes after plants as a primary food source.

Out of 40,000 known spider species, this is the only one who hunts plants.

Told it wasn't cute, fast, agile and it jumps.

**********

The human body is estimated to be home to 100 trillion living microbes. We're a buffet of saliva, sweat, dead skin cells, food particles between our teeth and our digestive system.

I vote yes for phone sex.

**********

Now for our lovely Kath, some vital infartmation. There are scientists who specialize in fart research (bet you didn't know that) and the world is divided into smellies and inflammables.

Smellies have sulphate reducing bacteria which produce hydrogen sulphide especially if they're diet is high in sulphurous foods such as eggs, white bread and red wine.

Inflammables have methane-making bacteria. Methane is odourless but this is the one that lights up the world if you put a match to it.

(Kath I'd love to be there when you tell your lovely daughter that you have a new party trick for parent/teacher night)

**********

And now for something completely different. I received my order from the Chocolate Mill this morning, very early, so early I didn't have half my teeth in but remembered not to smile at the delivery man. I had to sign one of those dinky little electronic machines that makes your signature look like ants crawling away from a jumping spider.

It was a big box, goodie says big stomach. So I'm searching through crumpled newspaper like a child through cheval merde looking for the pony and find a minute box in the bottom. I swear it was so small it could have been sent in a CD package but I'd forgotten I'd ordered chocolate covered licorice as well. I did a quick check, yep, 16 truffles but so little. I looked at the hand made chocs at Southland which are selling for 2.95 each and calculated that what I spent was less than buying 16 of these. I haven't touched them, they're for Egg Sunday. Five days, I have five days to go.

SEVEN DAYS ON

The nightmare still continues even without the flames.
People were taken back to Marysville in buses today to see the destruction of their town.

I wonder if ASIO has taken this on board. That a terrorist cell doesn't need explosives, bullets or germ warfare to destroy this country, just a box of matches.

HOW TO STRANGLE A DOLLAR

Interesting read in the paper this morning about a book called, 'Wealthier than you think'. It was written by self proclaimed tight-arse and penny pincher, Paul Squires who says that by following his rules, average Australians can put as much as $50,000 back into their own pockets within five years. He says we are all living beyond our means and letting a river of money slip through our fingers every day. In the article he didn't say what to do with the $50,000.

These are his top 10 penny-pinching ideas.

1. Avoid your family. Christmas and Easter gatherings are expensive and psychologically damaging.
I'm trying hard but I can't see a thing wrong with this idea. Avoiding my family would have saved a giant amount of psychotherapy bills but it was also a good way of getting a free feed.

2. Limit your mates.
All my mates are internet mates so you're using your electricity to post on your blogs which I read. When I read, I'm eating and drinking alone so I don't share with you. You live a long way away so I don't have to visit and you don't get to visit me so I save on house-cleaning products. And if you don't really like me (Mr Squires says this happens) or I don't like you, we can turn each other off or I can leave you on and not hurt your feelings.

3. Ditch "friends" who are living beyond their means.
Hmm! People with Visa debt shouldn't throw plastic cards at others with bigger debts.

4. Don't fall for "special day" marketing, such as Mother's, Father's and Valentine's days.
Nothing about very big special birthdays in there. So all my 'living beyond your means' limited internet mates can still send me cyber wishes in July. I will then have a cyber party and youse can all get cyber pissed and I'll sit here eating a real cake.

5. Don't volunteer for committees. It can become a financial burden.
I'm right with this. I've done my time on the kinder, school, canteen, fete committees.

6. Don't buy jewellery.
I knew it, he's lost me. I love my shiny things.

7. Have a weekly black-out night to save on electricity.
I like candle light as well as the next person but read a book with my eyesight, oh laugh. What does the man do, go to bed at sundown? Of course if you have a 50 square house with 200 lights you probably could save a bit on the bill. I'll give this one a miss too. Although I could navigate by the light of the computer and the TV and the lights have gone out while I was in the middle of a shower so I know I can dry myself in the dark but still he's really getting pinchy here.

8. Buy a standard TV, not a home theatre package.
Right, I have two geriatric televisions, one hooked up to the DVD and the other's hooked up to the video but I don't have them going at the same time especially not on black-out nights. I didn't buy either of them, a plus and I didn't buy the DVD, a plus and the video is 10 years old, a plus and I tape movies instead of going out.

9. Dress your children in hand-me-downs.
Has this man tried to tell a teenager that they can't have the latest craze?
My father-in-law was great at this hand-me-down stuff. If anyone in his street died he was on the door step before the flowers wilted, shoes, reading glasses, anything. He'd have taken the pennies off the eyes if they still had viewings at the house.

10. Don't be super-sized. Avoid two-for-one deals.
I spend half my shopping time in the supermarket working out if I'm getting a good deal on two-for-one deals. I work out the cost difference divided by the time the goods will take to run out divided by how many pension days that equates to and when that's done, I'll buy it because it looks nice or smells good.

This is not good. I consider myself an excellent spendthrift but I'm heading towards penny-pinching in a big way.

But where's my $50,000?

IT LIVES

The rodent made an appearance at 9.55pm.

It came out of the bottom of the space heater which was on.

It had a quick shufti around.

Spotted me and run back up the space heater.

Apparently it has flame retardant fur.

And no Bwca, I didn't see the whites of its ears.

I refuse to put a trap in the middle of my lounge room.

It'll probably die of hunger. Damn, I hate moral dilemmas.

FORGETTING AND REMEMBERING, PART THREE

The article also gave some hints for remembering. (article in New Scientist, February, 2008)


1. PAY ATTENTION. Make a conscious effort to think about where you leave your keys when you come in. You could even try saying aloud ‘I am putting my keys on the table’.


2. BE ORGANISED. Memories are like pieces of mail, it takes very little effort to open your mail and throw the contents all over your desk, but when you need to retrieve one, it won’t be easy. If you file related pieces of mail together, it’s a snap.
So when you need to remember something, try to link it to an existing strong memory. Mnemonics can also help file concepts together. (excrement = ex-husband, that works)


3. GET EMOTIONAL. Emotional arousal enhances memories - even when the memories themselves aren’t emotional. Test subjects shown neutral pictures of houses and faces followed by emotionally charged pictures remembered the neutral pictures better when they were followed by emotionally arousing pictures.


4. REVIEW. Retrieving items from memory makes them more likely to be remembered in future and keeps them from being bumped out of the way by new memories. So rehearse the name of the person you just met within 30 seconds, and once or twice more with increasing time between rehearsals.




My number one: I am shutting the door on my foot, I am dragging in two bags of groceries, I am putting on the light/air-conditioner/space heater, I am desperate for a pee, I have just shut the door with the keys still in the lock.


My number two: file all mail on the floor, it provides insulation and it’s sure to be there for at least three months. To illustrate, ex had received a wedding invite that didn’t include me. I watched him search through briefcase and files until I bent down and picked it up off the floor where I’d pitched it.


My number three: I tried this and it didn’t work. Naked guy, house, naked guy, face, naked guy, house, naked guy, face. Couldn’t recall the house or face but I certainly got emotional over the naked guy I was using.


My number four: I’m good with faces unless they’re accompanied by a naked guy but nothing will help me remember names unless I’m using Prof. Umbridge’s pen to write it down. In the article Michael Anderson says that the reason most people don’t have good memories for names is that they’re lazy. Rubbish, try being introduced to someone at a party while juggling a drink, handbag, food and noticing the introduced has his fly/flies (another thing I can't remember) undone.

REMEMBERING AND FORGETTING, PART TWO

In the same article was a test for the ability to suppress one memory in favour of another.
Each of the words below has a verb meaning and a different noun meaning which is more commonly used.


For each of them try to come up with a word association for the verb meaning.
For example, for DUCK, write ‘crouch’.


Most people find it difficult to temporarily ‘forget’ associations with the more dominant noun meaning, and want to write ‘quack’ next to DUCK.


LOAF
POST
COURT
ROOT
SOCK
LODGE
SIGN
BARK
PINE BOWL
SHED
FENCE
LOBBY
STUMP
FAWN
PRUNE
DUCK....crouch
RAIL
SINK



My answers are in the comments. I kept getting mixed up with verb and noun and I certainly wasn't fast with the answers. Some answers are just plain weird.

REMEMBERING AND FORGETTING, PART ONE

I’ve been reading an interesting article on memory and forgetting the things we don’t need to remember. According to Dan Schacter of Harvard University, the brain has developed strategies to weed out irrelevant or out-of-date information. Efficient forgetting is a crucial part of having a fully functioning memory. When we forget something useful, it just shows that this pruning system is working a little too well.

“In simple terms, new memories start life as the temporary excitation of synapses in a network of neurons. If you recall a memory, the same neural pathways are reactivated. The more times this happens, the more important the brain deems the memory t be and the more likely it is to be converted into a long term memory, by forming permanent connections between the neurons. These connections are reinforced each time the memory is recalled, making it easier to retrieve.”
I take this to be a reason we all can recall the hurts and downsides of our lives much clearer than the good times. The stupid embarrassing events we’d like to forget forever seem to always be lurking ready to remind us what an arse we made of ourselves. We do remember the good things that have happened but if someone asked you to quickly recall a memory, would it be happy or sad? My sister mightn't remember the lovely smile she had after getting new teeth but I'll bet she remembers sneezing and shooting them down the ward to land at Matron's feet.

In my case it was hard. The bad rushed up waving banners and I was hard put to spot the good wandering around in the background. The fiasco of my wedding day comes before the relief of him leaving me but that might be a time thing. I was married longer than I was divorced although the divorce is a much happier time than the marriage.

The memory pruning system is working well in one way ( gross-out TMI coming up) I can’t remember what he looked like naked or his dick size. Now you’d think I’d remember that, what with him standing in front of the bedroom mirror every morning, re-arranging his remaining hair strands.

But, even in those days, my brain considered it irrelevant and forgettable.

THE REST OF THE POST BECAUSE I PUSHED THE WRONG BUTTON

I have one of life's mysteries to answer.
If I have only enough money to buy beads, on special, a quarter of their usual price and a chocolate nut cluster Easter egg, why do I always go for the item that will last longest?

Believe me it's not the egg.

So many luscious, rich and unusual eggs this year and such outrageous prices. I'm torn between the roasted nut cluster egg or the rocky road egg from Hillier's. I can't afford to even look at the Lindt eggs. Darrell Lea have chocs and eggs in the one box and I had my hand in my purse but the price! Mentally adding up how many tomatoes and apples I could buy instead, with change left over for the 'on special' beads, I walked away.

There was a time when Easter eggs were made of brown coloured sawdust, at least that's what they tasted like. Now the selection of an egg takes an hour for a small one and 24 hours deliberation for the name, filling, dark or light, shell or solid, with or without a side order of whatever's in the middle. Also a credit card (currently in a pay up or die balance) or a bank loan would be handy. For those of us not into wood and nails and redemption, chocolate eggs are the best reason for having Easter even if they're an old wives tale and nothing to do with pagan spring celebrations.

I did buy a rabbit. A fluffy mauve rabbit with a wonky eye and a bow. Give me a box of plush animals and I will always pick the one with a wonky something. It cost $2 and it will last a lot longer than an egg.

I still want an egg.

I really want an egg.

I want a really big egg with chocolates inside and out.

HOTCH POTCH

That's the Space Shuttle Endeavour on it's way to the International Space Station. It was a night launch last week and photographed by James N. Brown.

ONE HIGHLIGHT

I washed under the stove, no not a highlight. It wasn't for the Club Med for spiders I wiped out.

I disturbed a cockroach who promptly disappeared, slippery little cocker.

After all that I need a cuppa, Earl Grey, Fairtrade which apparently is anything but.

I lit the gas.

Cockroach was sitting on the hob.

No wonder he disappeared. Apollo 13 slingshotting around the moon had nothing on this beast.

A minute's silence now. He's dead. 508 million more to go.

THERE ARE DAYS...........

When I hate being a vegetarian. When I'm out at the line bringing in the washing and some fool is frying onions on a barbecue and I can smell sausages as well.

You just can't get that onion frying smell indoors, it's a barbecue thing.

I had potato and bean salad for tea.

I wanted sausage and fried onions in a slab of fresh bread smothered with tomato sauce.

I think I'm beginning to crack.

Repeat this mantra "tofu is your friend".

It's not working, time for the chocolate ice-cream emergency bowl.

ANOTHER WEEK OF THE SAME STUFF AS LAST WEEK

So before I start whining have a look at this MODIS mosaic image of Antarctic ice loss between 1996 and 2006. The colours indicate the speed of the ice loss. Purple/red is fast. Green is slow.
The ice in the form of glaciers flows towards the surrounding sea like icing on a cake. Around the coast where the ice forms a floating shelf, the warmer waters are causing the ice to thin and collapse and the glaciers are able to flow faster. So it's not so much the ice melting, it's the reason that it's melting, ocean currents are changing and becoming warmer.
WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

I read somewhere today that man has changed the earth so quickly that this time should be named as a new epoch. I don't care, I'll just build an ark and load up the dinosaurs like Noah did. It's true, honest, the Fundies told me.

Chicken Pox has left the building. Mumzilla is still with us. My granddaughter turns 15 next week and is off to France in September with the school group. She's always wanted to see France but she doesn't know that my side of the family originally came from Paris. I haven't seen her or her sister for two years but I did get an email photo about 8 months ago. They're both beautiful.

I have issues with Windows because it won't let me install Ad-aware. It wouldn't even let me install Microsoft ant-malware. I downloaded a program called CCleaner which certainly cleaned up everything including Ad-aware. So that's un-installed. There is a small being that lives inside this machine and if I listen carefully I can hear the bastard sniggering. I had one small victory, my sitemeter button is back, well it's really big news for me. I sweated blood over the html because I had to type it all out because I copied it to clipboard and can't find the clipboard. Little being is sniggering again.

And to top off the week I had two invitations for outing tomorrow, drought/pouring, but one was cancelled until later this month and I was all okay for the other but you know where I'm heading instead. Sound familiar, well today is Groundhog Day in America and I swear I'm living that film.

NEVER MIND THE WEEK, WHERE DID JANUARY GO?

Last post was Tuesday, fifteenth crisis for the month was on Wednesday, Mummy's shopping was Thursday and Friday was 'collapsing in a heap' day.

The phone lines went out on Wednesday. Ma did everything bar standing in the yard and yelling for me. There was a waiting time for Telstra faults, half an hour of life I won't get back. They wanted to know if she had a life threatening illness and by the time I finished, including the Chicken Poxing nephew, there was an almost audible shuddering on the other end and a promise to get a technician there asap. Then I had to ring Mepac to tell them the panic button was out before they rang me to say she hadn't been in touch. So I dropped the furniture I was moving and walked round in case Telstra wanted to check the lines inside the house. It's not that she wouldn't let a stranger in, it was to let the poor man out if he did get in.

Thursday and I was out again. I've been cramming so many frozen meals in the small freezer because of the packaging that I thought of getting some zip lock freezer bags. So much better and what a waste of cardboard by the time I'd finished unpacking the boxes. After about 20 minutes, a voice from the bedroom enquired, "Can I come out now?". It's only taken 9 months of threats to keep her from underfoot when I drag the groceries in. I don't know why I thought I could walk the 3kms home after the shopping and the houseworking but it was coolish and I thought it might relax me. I don't think relaxed was quite the word to describe me sprawling over a seat in the park half way home.

Today was far more relaxed. I moved furniture. My work table from the sewing room which is going to be a bedroom again, almost a bedroom since only the sofa bed is going in there. The table is just a bit longer than the computer table but not enough for me to get too much junk on it. It means that when I use the printer I move the chair closer or I'll fall off. Thank you, no harm done, no bones broken but another whacking bruise. It matches the ones I got the other day when I couldn't find the fretsaw blades so I used the pruning saw to cut through chipboard which I rested on my knees. Bruises everywhere but the picture I framed looks great.

Tomorrow, I have to unload the photo album cupboard to move that out. Then after much measuring and finessing I should have the sofa bed in place. The computer table will go in front of that in case I ever take up craft work again. When I cleared the table I found a beaded Christmas ornament, half done and left in December 2003 which was the last time I sat in that room to work. Sewing machine stays up though, I have dresses to finish but it will be a bedroom again. That is after I hoover up the dessicated blowflies in the window sill. I thought they might have been there since 2003 but I did move bookcases in there about two years ago and I washed the curtains so I'm sure I would have moved the bodies out of the way. The dead spider swinging from the light fitting is a nice touch.

COMPUTER FRIED

There's nothing like being in the middle of a bloggable event and the computer gets fried by lightning.

I've got a systems restore running, has been for 24 hours and still going but I might be lucky to have everything back by Friday.

So I haven't been hit by a sleigh and the old girl's still with us.

I'm thinking of you all, that's all I can do.

I have to confess I'm computer addicted. I'm lost without my keyboard.

Have a great time over the holidays, I'll be in a corner sobbing.

HER FIRST CHRISTMAS

The West Australian

17 December 2007Dawn Gibson

Page 3 (with pic of Sam, Kelly and nanny)

This Christmas promises to be the most memorable in the lives of Perth gay couple Sam and Kelly Pilgrim-Byrne – the first they will share with their baby daughter Charlotte Kathleen.

Charlotte’s arrival three months ago marked the end of an emotional three-year wait, during which both women had fertility treatment in a bid to realize their dream of having a family. To their joy, Sam eventually became pregnant through IVF using sperm donated by a friend from interstate.

While the couple acknowledged that many people did not agree with the idea of a child being raised by two mums, they said they had done a lot of soul-searching before their decision and were determined to be the best parents they could.

Charlotte’s biological father will also play a big role in her life. He visited Charlotte shortly after her birth, gets photographs of her emailed to him every day and will see her again early next year when the family visit him.

"The main thing that happy families have in common is love and we have got that in abundance," Kelly said."From a child’s point of view, I would much rather be raised in a family where I knew I was loved and had been wanted for many years, rather than as a result of an unwanted pregnancy.

"Kelly’s mother Karen Sumner said she was not bothered her first grandchild would be brought up without a father in the house. "I don’t even think of it as an issue," she said. "She will have a great upbringing.

"The couple, who have been together for almost 16 years and legally use the same surname, were surprised by the support they have received since a story about Sam’s pregnancy was published in The West Australian this year.

I couldn't have been more thrilled for two women to have a little girl than if they were my own daughters. They will make wonderful mothers and I support them in every way. By the time little Charlotte grows up, same-sex marriage will be such a part of everyday life in every day suburbs that no one will consider it not to be a normal arrangement.

For short time lurkers who don't know my background, I am a straight grandmother who decided to do something about the gay teens who thought suicide was a better alternative to living in a world that considered them as sick, perverted and sinful. I joined the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby to work towards the same rights as heterosexual couples enjoy but are denied to same sex couples.

This was a lifestyle choice for me, being gay is not and prejudice because of who you fall in love with has no place in a civilised society.

Kelly and Sam, have a wonderful first Christmas morning with Charlotte. I still intend to dance at your wedding.

LITTLE CHILDREN ARE DELICIOUS

Some little children are like the two I met this morning. Very sweet and polite. The four year old told his sister to make way for the lady with the baby in her tummy. Cute thing thinking I was young enough to get pregnant and we all know I'm big but did he have to move his sister to the middle of the road to make room for me. Diet again, resist Christmas chocolates.

Speaking of Christmas. I have only one thing on my list but it's big.
I want a self cleaning bathroom.
They can do it with ovens why can't they do it with bathrooms.
I still have sore fingers from last week so now add a sore elbow from where I fell in the bath trying to clean the other side.

My observations on bathrooms are as follows:
You cannot clean in between sliding doors. You have to wait until the mould comes out.
Baths are totally unnecessary for people with dodgy knees who can't use them, the bath that is.
Powder is invisible on white tiles so it's not worthwhile sweeping it up until it's at least thick enough to slide on which is dangerous to those of us with dodgy knees.
Silverfish treat this room like a Club Med until they hit the powder. Powder clogs their antennae and they run in circles and die.
Showers should consist of an upright slab of glass and a flat floor.

The only reason I've cleaned everything up is that I'm expecting a visit from an expensive bottle of perfume for Christmas.

And why am I doing this at 12.26 in the morning, because I downloaded IE updates and got landed with IE7 which I officially hate. It's taken 5 hours and all I wanted were XP updates. I'm now going to take great pleasure in uninstalling the whole kit and caboodle. And for the technically competent, I know firefox is much better but I can't work out how to use that and optusnet and all the other rubbish that goes on inside this machine. I can hide links now, what more do you want.

WELL THAT 9 MONTHS WENT WHOOSH

To Mikhela and Lovergirl

here

Twins have arrived safely.

A girl, weighing 4lbs 11 ozs and a boy weighing 5lbs 5 ozs.