No, I didn't think these up but I could have

Now this is an ace idea except for the grass growing up between the rocks and looks like it might need weeding which is not in my job description. But around the water meter, great, since S.E.Water practically buried the Tap and meter last time hernextdoor's water pipe burst. Probably would look neat hanging off the back of the Kombi, the VW and the Falcon.

 I immediately thought of River when I saw this. I know you love bright colours and have a small garden but just right for this caterpillar. I'm not sure about glow in the dark paint for this, kind of creepy/spooky but wow for Halloween.

 Now Elephant's Child, this is definitely ours. It has steps, canopy, lanterns aromatherapy candles and bubbles. I don't see a stubby holder though, still if we can afford this, we can afford the butler bringing out the Bombay Sapphire and in the good crystal glasses. No champagne, enough bubbles in the spa and I get giggly and drownable on champagne.

And for all four of us, the garden retreat for the reading of books, gossiping, pinning on Pinterest, blogging and eating cake, especially eating cake. This would sit neatly between my apple tree and lemon tree. I can't tell you how badly I want this garden delight and everything in it. I believe the spa would go beside it and we could wander back and forth, the forth would probably be very zigzag so the glow in the dark rocks will come in handy.
And since how government thinks that pensioners are on a good wicket, we should be able to afford the lot.
Up yours Abbott!

Just a little hate in the heat

There is no way to say anything pleasant about this vile Federal government we have been landed with.
In one breath they rant on about dole bludgers and in the next they are putting thousands of workers on the scrap heap.
They are dumping tonnes of crap on the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park for a harbour to take ships big enough to haul off the coal which they say is not causing "What Climate Change".
Now they are trying to get World Heritage listing of forests in Tasmania changed so they can let the loggers back in. But it's okay they're giving Cadbury's 16 million bucks to boost tourism so Tassie won't lose out.
And the State governments aren't much better.  Shark culling, really brilliant. So far only small and may I say, not to bright, sharks have been caught and released. The sharks they have shot, they've taken out to sea and dumped. Oh, come on down, really big sharks and take the bait.
Our ABC, the one we pay for is coming in for a belting for being biased in their reporting of what this government is doing. I can't see how they can say that when they bloody well won't tell the people anything about anything they are doing. We can't even call ourselves mushrooms since they won't even feed us bullshit. 
Okay so by-election coming up in Kevvie's seat of Griffiths (see that Julie Bishop, even I can get it right) and I feel for the Liberal who believes he can just walk off with the prize. People get out there and let Abbott know he'd better start looking at what's under his nose, a great big dislike and it's growing.

One of THOSE weeks

This is what I looked like this morning, all empty with hair.  Three ice packs last night to stop the legs going into spasms, lots of groaning and swearing when I had the legs fixed, the back went. The knee is swollen from the bus steps and trying to get into new taxis that have a board too high to slide the feet inside. It's now lift and swing including the two bags I'm usually carrying. Put having to use the gnome sized toilets at Southland into the mix plus up and down and up and down for things mother wanted done, I should have know to whack on the ice as soon as I staggered in the back door. 
But my diabetes and cholesterol are under control considering what a mess they were this time last year. Triglicerides are up but I've been  missing my Omega-3 fish oil a bit so now it's one a day for the next 6 months to see if it makes a difference. That and exercise which doesn't figure a lot in my life but we are now trying a third fluid tablet to help the legs and feet. The other two were too strong and made me feel very unwell after 3 or 4 days. My kidneys are fine though. We just won't talk about the elephant in the room which is me.
So now it's February and it's been a year since I heard from my eldest granddaughter. I presume she made it back from Europe okay. Next week she will  be, if I've done my sums right, 21 years old. I still remember every minute of the day she was born like it was yesterday.  I suppose I will have to email her other grandparents and find out what they are doing for her birthday, down here or in Queensland. There's no way I will contact her Queen Bitch of the Universe of a mother to ask. I don't usually hold a grudge but with her, the grudging will be forever. It doesn't matter that I know why she did what she did, a grudge is the least I can do when I'm not the type to hit someone over the head with a blunt object. I don't talk to her, I don't think about her, she does not exist in my world, she exists only in my grudging.
She is why I don't keep in touch with my girls, it only gets them into trouble. They email or ring when they can so I never push them. They know where I live, I've let them go and they've come back, they always will.

The Magic lingers

I had a really good laugh out of this.
What do you mean, "What is it?"
Anyone can see it's the Hogwarts pony,
Harry Klopper.

Let them eat cake but not this kind

What else to do on  a stinking hot afternoon than wander through the web looking at shoes and jewells and cakes, lots of cakes.  I had a real laugh out loud at that wedding cake up top. Considering my marriage, this cake should have been centre stage all the way. Come to think of it, it would make perfect divorce celebration eating. 
 

But this cake, a giant life- size unicorn birthday cake. Life-size with a huge cut out chunk of technicolour innards. Here, child, come and get your slice of unicorn cake, which part would you like me to cut into with this huge knife? I can't understand some people. I would have been traumatized for life, in fact, I probably should have put up a warning for Miss O'Dyne with her love of horses. I am gobsmacked at the thought of 20 or so munchkins all waiting for the slaughter of the innocent. It would make a great script for "Castle", soccer mom cuts into the belly of the beast and out rolls a real body instead of that garish cake. How does one get cake to be that colour anyway? Great way to turn kiddies into vegetarians on the spot.

No trouble with cutting into this Cinderella Wedding cake unless you forget the slipper and end up with a gob full of glass. If I ditched the shoe and the castle, it would be the perfect cake for me, a chandelier cake. I love cake and I love chandeliers and there's no rule that says you have to be married to have a wedding cake or a chandelier. I love this cake. I want this cake.

One thing here is not like the others

Actually the only thing here is not what you think. Dear Miss O'Dyne always thinking of me. I've  said so many times that mother wouldn't shuffle off until she can take me with her and another week of 40 degree heat should do it.
So thank you Annie O for finding me the perfect coffin, a pink ballet shoe and with satin ties, divine. And I would like the entire male corps de ballet to carry me out.

Neat stuff

 Now next hard rubbish collection I'm going to be looking for one of these. It's an old hand basin covered with colourful mosaics and filled with water for a bird bath. The taps are still there for any bird to sit on to dry and ruffle feathers. It's bonkers brilliant.

 

Now I've forgotten what guys do in toilets besides spilling on the floor while not putting the seat down but ladies, we think a lot.  And while thinking it helps to do something like toilet paper origami. I presume it's done off the roll but imagine a bloke walking in and being confronted with a delicate hand made rose, just sitting there. There'd be a few brain cells dying from exhaustion until he figured it out and gently removed it then put it back like he'd never been in there.

I think I emailed everyone I know with my next trick except maybe HighRiser.  I've already tried this and it works. Put drops of essential oil or if you're cheap, use the stuff from the $2 Emprorium, into the middle of the toilet roll cardboard.  Everytime the roll rolls round, the perfume wafts out. My lavender lavatory is a joy.

22 days gone

Isn't he gorgeous, he's a Winter Wren and has nothing to do with this post but I needed a dose of cuteness, a large dose.
22 days into 2014 and I have done nothing at all.  The things to do list is still on the fridge door and probably will be there on 24th December.  The stinking weather and mother had a lot to do with the lethargy.  All I can see before me is more 2013.
She rings and the dvd viewer is fritzed. I get another at Dick Smith, same brand but things have changed in four years and now there is no on/off switch at the side. It's near the menu, push once for on, push, hold for 2 seconds for switch off. There's also a stop for just stopping the dvd and you just know she's going to use that all the time and the thing will never be charged up. That's another problem, the charger has a cord that is half the length of the previous charger so now I have (note that 'I') to buy a small extension cord so it can be plugged in and go under the bed and I won't have to worry about the charging. I've already got to take back the clock to the shop and have the man reset all the buttons since one of the carers picked it up, not by the sides but the top and pressed all the buttons together and fritzed that.  The CD/radio fritzed, but my old tape deck/radio is doing the job and sounds a lot better than the other.
I huffed and puffed in yesterday to find my sister sitting on her duff and taking me to task for my lousy breathing which, considering what I was carrying, I thought wasn't that bad. I'd been up hill and down dale at Southland looking for a viewer so had that plus two bags full of mum's stuff. I'll really have to punch her one day.
So I haven't blogged about the 53 children Paramedics rescued from cars last week.
I haven't blogged about being right about Abbott speaking like a robot. His speech was analyzed by someone with too much time on their hands and it has slowed down quite a lot from his pitbull days in Opposition. Her, I think it was a her, said he'd obviously had voice coaching and now sounded as boring as Julia.
I haven't blogged about our wonderful Navy who can't seem to navigate the ocean without blundering into someone else's territory.  Sorry won't cut it matey, not when technology can pin point an Admiral picking his nose on a cruiser's sun deck. Get with it or go back to actual navigating by the sun and stars instead of relying on a gerbil running in a wheel for your computers.
It is my opinion and I have lots, that planes, ships or cars that rely on technology are a hazard to my travelling well being. Look at the film "Independence Day", the aliens would have won if everyone had forgotten morse code so phasing out manual navigation, morse code and pilots who can fly is really a bad idea. I shudder every time I see that ad where the woman parks the car with no hands.
I'm not wanting to go right back to horse and buggy days, lordy can you imagine the horse shit but then 'work for the dole' would have a whole new department but  basic 'stuff' should never be forgotten.
That includes leaving kids and dogs in cars in the heat or at any other time. Dogs and kids are smart, push button start in cars means the little beasts could be heading for someone else's territorial waters before you can say 'Morrison is slime'.

That Sinatra song

You know the one, it's something o'clock and there's no-one in the place except you and me. 
It came to mind as I'm sitting here at 2 in the morning laughing hysterically at that cat jumper.
It must be the heat.  The cat is in the lounge just below fan height, I'm in the study with fan and shortly must try to sleep with the fan on in the bedroom. The front door is open but the smell of smoke is wafting in. I barely slept last night, put the air-con on this morning and fell asleep in the chair over breakfast. I don't know how I sleep sitting up without drifting to one side or the other and breaking my neck. 
I have been watching tv ads for 'back to school' and wondering how I survived with no water bottle, lunch pack with ice cooler, large hat and some one to drive me to school. I don't know why my generation hasn't all ended up with kidney failure when we only got to drink out of the communal fountains, before class, morning break, lunch and afternoon break. If you were at the back of the line and the bell went, bad luck, it was back to the classroom of no air-con just heat exhaustion.
The joy of a paper bag full of curling sandwiches, hot oranges or browning apples. If I missed the bus it was a hell of a walk home unless I took the short cut over the railway lines which I frequently did. See what this heat is doing, making me relive all the hideous days of my life. 
I really should print out that cat jumper and cart it around with me tomorrow, at least that is making me laugh.

I want to be rich and eat cake

 This is what I call the "Isn't it gorgeous but I couldn't be bothered" cupcake.

 No, she's not a cup cake but so cute I'd call  her Cupcake if she was mine.

 This is a divine little cupcake. The frosted perfect rose, the leaves, the organza bow. It's all too good to eat, not that I wouldn't try petal by petal, leaf by leaf.

BUT THIS IS A CUPCAKE!!!

Of course, it's expensive since I'd have to catch a plane to London to get to Harrod's to buy this sequin bling cupcake clutch bag. I really need to be rich.

Web Wandering

I wish I had found this before Christmas because he looks just like IceBear. I just love the Catmas Tree. Bear gets the same dopey smile when I open a food can. It's a wonder Mother didn't do this with the dog and cat since she lit up everything else in the house.
 

And I found this brilliant idea for a coat or bag rack. Just a length of wood and odd handles from the Op shop. I'm always picking up pretty knobs out of the oddment basket then putting them back because there are no matching ones. Hand towells in the bathroom, necklaces in the wardrobe, scarves on the back of the bedroom door, sunhats and brolllies at the back door. I can't tell you how much I lust after a set of those ceramic rose handles. I cannot wait until the Op shop opens again and everyone dumps all the Christmas presents they hated. I particularly want two bowls for the base of my glass totem tea lights. Looks like a trip to Cheltenham then train to Mentone and take a large bag.

Give and take, I can't help myself

If you feel at a low ebb don’t fight Mother Nature: pace yourself and get plenty of rest. Even though you may be physically fit, this is the point of the year, astrologically speaking, when you are more vulnerable and need more tender, loving care. There are gains to be made by listening to the unconscious mind, which is reaching you via dreams and intuitions.

The year has only just begun and there are many more weeks in which to fulfil the agenda you have set yourself, but by taking your time now you will discover more routes to your objectives and make better strategies. From Thursday the moon will be in Leo giving you an extra boost and some potentially very good news.

That's my star chart for next week.  The unconscious mind has been dreaming of me and I'm cleaning rooms with nothing in them. I'm taking that to mean I'm running on empty. Because the rooms I'm cleaning in real life are anything but empty. I had fingers crossed on bin day that the truck would actually be able to lift the recycle bin. I was smart, I put the bin by the gate and wheeled the 50 or so magazines and other assorted junk down to it in the wheel barrow. It was still a monster to get to the nature strip but at least I knew it wouldn't fall over in the wind. I still have another barrow load for the next collection but Murphy's Law, hernextdoor is having a clean out and brought in four wicker baskets, two just what I wanted, one a maybe, another a possible. Oh just call me magpie and be done with it.

The bottom image is Apophyllite on Stilbite from India and the top image is Apophyllite and Natrolite also from India.  I have been looking for images of a related mineral  for ages, not just any image but something that showed the colour as I looked at it. The colour of seawater just as a wave breaks, just under the curling white top. The top image was perfect as it looked like a wave hitting.
A woman, not a psychic or medium, just a person with a gift of some power once gave me great comfort and peace.  That gift I repaid with a specimen of Phosphophylite which came in a tiny domed case. I have never seen another specimen since and most gem stores have never heard of it but New Age info is that it enhances abilities or powers. The specimen I bought was so perfect in colour and formation that it looked like a frozen wave was also so powerful that the lady in question had to lock it away in a box until she because used to its force. Very fanciful, I hear you saying, well I know what she did and I know it could not have been trickery or fake so I'm glad to finally find something that's close to the form and colour of that mineral.

Groundhog Day

You have no idea how much I want these cup cakes right now.  There will be no need to post, just refer back to this time last year. Mother has cellulitis again, left leg, ankle to knee. Doc Marvin was straight in as the nurses were all the ball this time and watched as it developed. Apparently the leg is where this particular bacteria has set up home and it's not moving. I've noticed she's been having very hot flushes lately and that's unusual as she's always cold and so the infection has been ramping up and I'd say a visit from Aunt Selma was the last straw. 
She's out of credits on her phone so can't get me and I'm not going down in the stinking heat of next week. At some stage I, me, daughter, person, has to have a blood test which is a pain to get the 8 to 12 hours food eating just right or the results are crap. They're going to be anyway because I'm not sleeping properly, not eating when I should, haven't got back into routine from the December madness so the BGL is steady but on the wrong number. It's always the way, the more I try to diet the less it works. The weight is steady but on the wrong number as well. Goodness knows what the blood pressure is. The spider population is increasing with a huntsman in the curtains in the lounge. Curtains is a laugh since it and the cat went head to head through them the other night. Neither won and now I have another in the bedroom and one in the laundry.
I'm not thinking about the lump I found, I'm sure it's scar tissue, I can't handle one more thing.

I do love to be beside the seaside.

These photographs were taken by Thomas Zakowski who makes the trip to St. Joseph and South Haven in Michigan every year after a big storm to capture the frozen lighthouses. They can remain frozen for over a month depending on the weather. Mr. Zakowski took these photos this week after the storm froze the waves as they crashed down against the piers.

No wonder they look like this, Canada and parts of America are experiencing a 'polar vortex' which has been pushed further south with temperatures dropping even in Florida.  I can't even imagine temperatures dropping to -30C to -50C but that's what cities are expecting this week.

One down

My shower is fixed. Don't you love it. What, you don't believe this is my shower? Well I tell you that in my dreams this is my shower. I'm just not quite sure if I dreamed steps on the other side otherwise it's going to be a fat lady a'leaping to get in. But the view, by the time I'd stopped relaxing and viewing, I'd be all pruned up.
While the BOH was fixing the shower I was fixing the printer. I hate paper jams especially when I think I've got all the paper out and the blinking light says I haven't. I finally found it wrapped around where the cartridges go from side to side. So lots of swearing in the study and more when I couldn't find my glasses which usually sit on top of the printer. I put on my reading glasses when I'm surfing.
Don't ask me how they got halfway across the room, my memory is blank. Probably too much time in the tub.
Handyman coming tomorrow to give me quotes on all I need doing around the house and since he's local and I've known him a while, he'll do one thing at a time until I can afford the next lot.  Since we've just had a rain squall I think it must be getting the roof garden out of the spouting and maybe the water will stop cascading over the front door. The ivy needs a good belting to get it back behind the bluestones, it knows the rules then the lemon tree is getting out of hand and growing lemons beyond my reach. I could go on and on but I'm depressed enough with this year already.
I think I'll go soak in the tub again.

Two days and I hate this year already.

That is not the crescent moon, it is the crescent Venus and it will meet with the crescent moon soon and it's supposed to start all kinds of goings on, mostly bad where I'm concerned..
I'm waiting for the Nephew to turn up and turn off the water so he can put new washers in the shower taps. Niagara falls have been flowing since I showered last night about 10.30. I did put a bucket in there to save the water for the washing machine and now I'm too exhausted to pick it up.
After the washers, the smoke alarm started to chirp, that annoying sound that says you didn't change me when daylight saving came in. Well, 9 volt batteries are expensive and the damn thing hadn't gone off in two years even when I set fire to the oven which I still haven't cleaned. I'd need a sledgehammer to get the crap off. Anyway sent message to BOH and he'll call in tonight but I don't think he realizes what's involved yet so the shower will continue to gush until the weekend. I've lost the will to live anyway.
I swear Southland was busier today then it was before Christmas. I needed a new computer mouse but it's like choosing a toothbrush, which one? Now I'll have to go back with the old one to make sure I get one that's right.  Grab a bird bell and I hope the parrots choke on it, grab a sponge for mother, grab cat food and grab taxi for the Home.  I have a new box to replace the one mother has mangled and trying to make her give it up can only be resolved by me stomping it to bits.  Her roomie comes in, hacking coughs all over us and then leaves. I could have tipped her wheelchair over since mum is on the nebulizer twice a day for the congestion in her chest at least that's what she thinks but it's fluid in the lungs from her heart not pumping properly. It hasn't affected her mouth at all. Orders, orders and more orders. Remembered to take batteries for her clock, good.
Remembered the cake, good. Now could I ask around and find out who nicked her torch last night.
That's when I packed up and called a cab. I seemed to be taking home more than I arrived with, always seems to be that way.

Slag off at youth fashion and it means "OLD"

 Miss O'Dyne sent me this image some time ago when I was drooling on about velvet gowns and at 17 I really wanted to be this sophisticated. At 18 I managed to get the hair right and on my best coat I had an Arctic Fox fur collar. In those far off days of walking and freezing trains and no way of ever owning a car, I needed the warmth and we weren't exactly taught the moral ethics of not killing animals for fashion. The velvet dresses came later, much too late for the kind of lounging that Miss Elegance has perfected. I remembered this photo while I was wandering through the luxury items of Buccellati jewellers and I knew these ruby and diamond earrings would be perfect and of course a matching bracelet to complete the decadence.

Now we can start the bitching. Her straggling hair. Her bra straps. Her shapeless velvet and miles too short dress. Heavy belt, grungy jewellery and "shooties", cross between a shoe and a boot. You see what I mean about "old", it isn't elegant to me. It isn't even good dressing. I would wear that out to get the milk. But that's just me and even if she was my granddaughter I'd never say a word to her face. Behind her back is another matter. What's life when you're old without something to bitch about. At least she hasn't the bad taste to wear my beloved Buccellati rubies with it.

Pink and the air is blue.

Now River you could whip this up in an afternoon in all those bright colours to match your decor.
It doesn't look like it's rigged to actually light up a room but as a statement, it makes one.

Christmas dinner at the Home, what can I say about it......lots......

1. The turkey was well cooked. My mother thought it was pork, the lady next to her thought it was lamb. 
2. A simple onion flavoured gravy and lord knows there are plenty of liquid gravies out there that don't need work just a zap in the microwave.
3. Great long strips of undercooked sauteed onion slapped on top of the meal in a minute amount of liquid does not substitute for gravy, proper gravy. Pardon me, but this is where I step up to my soapbox. These are old people, they don't handle onions very well, small diced, well cooked onions in a lot of sauce, maybe. Not long thick bits of onion they can choke on.
4. An entree is some food that is put on a plate in front of you to eat. It is not thick slices of ham surrounded by tiny (rockhard) gherkins and cocktail onions both of which old people can choke on. That is if they could get to them. Put in the middle of the table secure under cling wrap with no serving tongs made it damn hard unless like Inspector Gadget someone had hidden extendable arms. Eventually the serving boy from the kitchen remember to remove the wrap but still didn't put out tongs. Nobody touched it except  me and I had to use my dessert spoon. 
5. What is the point of writing a menu in flowery language then rolling it up and tying it when most of the residents can't untie anything. Some asked if it was part of the meal.
6. None of the relatives were asked if they would like a glass of wine. I had two bottle of vodka lime and bitters, lucky me. The only drink on the table, in the middle where no-one could reach it, was a jug of ice water. No cordial, no lemonade, no pretty Christmas cups.
7. When the menu says, pudding with custard, trifle and pavlova, I expect them all to appear. The pavlova disappeared into the fridge and wasn't seen again until yesterday when I arrived at the Home to find a piece waiting for me. Now I'm certain the rooms are bugged considering how I went on about it.
8. No coffee was served and no-one was asked if they wanted it.
9. Coffee would have helped the dry crumbly mince pies go down. Crumbs choke old people. What was wrong with thinking ahead and buying the pies with the lattice tops, not so many crumbs and a smaller size.
10. No table cloths because an activities supervisor wasn't rostered on to make sure everything was Christmasy. Actually one was but she was told very rudely, not to bother coming in. She snuck in later to see everybody and caught me in full flight. Them-in-charge too cheap to pay her double time for the day. She would have made a big difference to the atmosphere and made sure all the residents knew what was what.

The idea of a newsletter is to put news in it. That includes a form letting the staff know who is being taken out for the day so that 10 people don't suddenly need to be showered when relatives turn up and ask if they're ready. Next year (I can't believe I said that) I will be having lunch with mum in her room and I'll bring the food with me. Was it worth the $18 I had to pay? Bloody hell NO. And my shit sister did not give me a present again, bitch. I might have bingo wings but she's starting to get turkey neck bwahahahhaha!

Look slowly but closely

 This is the Diga del Cingino dam in Italy.  See those little dots on the wall.

 They are European Ibex and they like to eat the moss & lichen growing on the wall.
They are also licking the salt off the stone.

 I bet they don't ever look down.

Fancy something to do after Christmas?

This is clever and something I would never have thought of in a million years to use old glass. How many times have I walked through an op shop and loved a dish or old vase and not bought it as I didn't need it.  Now I know what to do. These are from America and are called garden glass totems.
You can build it up with tea cups and a teapot, glass vases or like the image above, crown it with a glass ornament. Doesn't he look gorgeous?

 Or how about that atrocious Venetian glass bowl you might have been landed with as a wedding present which now can be turned into a bird bath.  The trick is to bury the bottom into the garden to hold it straight and use silicon waterproof glue, the clear stuff.

This is so simple and lovely, bird bath or bird feeder depending on how deep the bowl is. I could cry at all those chipped and cracked glass whatsits that I have tossed out and can never get back. Even cleaning out mum's house there were bowls that went to the op-shop in the de-cluttering. Fortunately I have plenty of op-shops to visit and any glass bits that take my eye now will be coming home.
Even just odd glasses put together and plonked in the ivy to catch the sun would be lovely especially if coloured.  Elephant's Child I can just see something like this popping up with your spring bulbs and River, even your small plot could take a small totem. But Miss O'Dyne, the mad bird lady will have glass bird baths from here to forever and they will all look lovely.